(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #319, August 17, 2007)
In last issue’s column I suggested a partial answer to questions asked by many members of the leather/BDSM/fetish community: “Where are the young people in the leather community? Where’s the new blood? Where’s the next generation?” In that column I made the point that “new blood” is not necessarily limited to “young blood.”
In this column I’ll suggest another answer to those questions: MinKY, which stands for Minnesota Kinky Youth. (“Youth” in this instance means people between the ages of 18 and 35.)
Founded in 2003, MinKY builds community among younger kinky folk by maintaining an e-mail list/Yahoo group (currently with about 300 members) and by hosting monthly munches and parties. MinKY also hosts demos and social events such as game nights. The largest share of attendees at MinKY events are drawn from a core group of 50-60 people, of whom approximately one-third are “Friends of MinKY,” about which more in a moment.
MinKY is a prime example of what is known in leather circles as a TNG (“The Next Generation”) group. Those who like to play devil’s advocate might ask: Why is a group for young kinky folks necessary? Isn’t that age discrimination? Why would the young folks want to isolate themselves from more mature and experienced community members?
Why is a group like MinKY necessary? For starters, minors aren’t allowed in bars or at many typical kink events. And even for those over legal age, sometimes it’s more comfortable to hang with people who share a common generational culture—issues ranging from being at the same stage in life (and perhaps at the same general income level) to preferring the same style of music.
Some younger kinky folks may not mind always being the youngest, or one of the youngest, people at a munch or other event. But others might find it uncomfortable to talk about BDSM or sexual issues with people the same age as their parents. The discomfort sometimes goes the other way, too, with older community members feeling uncomfortable talking about kink with people who are young enough to be their children.
For someone who’s young and just discovering their kinky side, being one of the younger people at a kinky social function can be worse than uncomfortable—it can be intimidating and unsettling. For a moment, imagine yourself in their position experiencing either or both of two opposing attitudes: a) you are young, therefore you will be repeatedly hit on by “chicken hawks” (older people who prefer younger play partners), or b) you are young, therefore no one will take you seriously. Some people will be overly eager to play with you, while others won’t want to play with you because they think you’re young and inexperienced.
Experiences like that can be enough to make a young person forsake the organized community. In the words of Jae Januze, Ms World Leather 2006 and a crusader for outreach to younger kinky folks, “You get somebody who’s younger who shows up to a meeting, freaks out because most of the people there are older, and they don’t show up again. Instead they go hang out at the goth nightclub, or go to some fetish event where they’re not learning anything, it’s just about the look. And they’re still doing dangerous practices at home.”
For younger folks, it can be a relief to have a group like MinKY. It can be less intimidating for those new to kink to ask questions of someone closer to their age, and it can be easier for more experienced folks to mentor someone closer to their own age as well. Another advantage to groups like MinKY is that younger people who wouldn’t feel comfortable going to mainstream events by themselves might feel more comfortable attending such events as part of their TNG group.
MinKY goes to great lengths not to be isolationist. Many MinKY members are involved in other area leather/BDSM/fetish organizations. They’re visible at many mainstream munches and parties. Actually, they often have helped to plan, organize and staff these events. Another way MinKY integrates itself into the local community is by allowing people over 35 (or members who have “aged out” of regular MinKY membership) to apply for “Friends of MinKY” status, equivalent to some other area club’s associate memberships.
In the relatively short time MinKY has been in existence its members have demonstrated again and again the contributions younger kinky folks can make. They are happy to share their energy, enthusiasm and intelligence with the larger community. They have demonstrated that they are eager to learn and willing to be involved, lend a hand and help out. With MinKY on the local scene, the future of Minnesota’s leather/BDSM/fetish community looks bright indeed.
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