(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #15, December 22, 1995)
Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwaanza, Solstice or none of the above, Christmas Day will soon be here. Society tells us that on Christmas we are supposed to get together with the rest of our (biological) families and do Norman Rockwell scenes. If we don’t do this (either because we can’t or don’t want to) we are supposed to feel lonely and empty. The entire rest of the world is playing Ozzie & Harriet—what’s wrong with us?
We in the leather community certainly don’t have a corner on holiday stress, but we sometimes have to face issues that vanilla society doesn’t. Family issues tend to be more stressful around the holidays for gay people in general—add kinkiness to the mix and the situation can become even worse. In family and other social situations, we are often presented with two bad alternatives: stay in the closet about who we are and feel ashamed, or be out and risk feeling uncomfortable at best and being snubbed at worst.
If Christmas is supposed to be such a warm-fuzzy time of year, why is it so stressful for so many of us? And what can we do about it?
Well, we can start by looking honestly at the situation. My partner Ken has stated that, in his opinion, Norman Rockwell was not a painter or even an illustrator—he was a subversive agent, brainwashing us all into believing romantic notions of family life that even in vanilla terms simply aren’t realistic. Ken also says that even Ozzie and Harriet weren’t real; as evidence, he cites the manner of son Ricky Nelson’s untimely death (a cocaine-related plane crash, if I remember properly). There’s no reason to beat ourselves up emotionally for failing to live up to what is an illusory ideal.
Face it, we leatherfolk are outlaws. We don’t always play by society’s rules the rest of the year; why should the holidays be any different? Rather than Norman Rockwell telling us what we should want, let’s ask ourselves how we really want to spend the day. Let’s not be limited by convention. Do we want to gather at someone’s home for a big holiday meal? Spend the day with just our partner, a roaring fire in the fireplace, and a sling? Have a Solstice orgy with 20 or 30 or 100 of our closest friends? (“I’m dreaming of a wet Christmas . . . ”)
Every year on Christmas night gay bars are teeming with people who have just spent the day at a family gathering and need a dose of reality, freedom and fresh air. I’ve heard the opinion expressed that anyone who would spend Christmas night at a bar is a lonely, pathetic soul. I don’t agree, and I say thank goodness that there is a gathering place where an antidote is available for those who need it. (I hasten to add that the “antidote” to which I am referring is fellowship, not alcohol.)
It doesn’t matter what other people think about how you celebrate the holiday. What matters is that it be uplifting and meaningful for you. That’s my holiday wish for all my readers—whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate it.
A final word: there’s a wonderful book by Mary Borhek called Coming Out To Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians, Gay Men And Their Parents. It discusses holiday issues along with lots of other family-related topics. If you or your parents are feeling family stress I recommend it highly, and the fact that I’m the author’s son has absolutely nothing to do with my recommendation.
An Open Letter From Darlette Knox, Ms. Minnesota Leather 1995, to the Leather Community at Large:
I’m writing in this form in hopes of reaching those whom I could not personally thank for all the support. I wanted to thank everybody for coming out and supporting the leather functions and the Mr. and Ms. Minnesota Leather and the Leatherman of Minnesota contests. Without the direct support of all of you the leather lifelight in the Twin Cities would be dim.
A big thank you goes out to the leather clubs and organizations, the GDI’s, the supporters and promotors, the judges and all the attendees and entertainers. I am honored and feel privileged to represent Minnesota and will carry and present the title with pride.
Lastly, our community is growing and your continued support does not go unnoticed. All of you who come out are appreciated as well as needed, and I hope that all of you have a warm and wonderful holiday season. And again, thank you very much.
Darlette
Friday, December 22, 1995
Friday, December 8, 1995
Questions and Answers
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #14, December 8, 1995)
What’s a bootblack? How do hanky codes work? When you talk about the “leather community,” what exactly are you talking about?
These are just a few of the leather-related questions I’ve heard lately, and those questions deserve answers. Therefore, today’s column, striving to educate, inform and entertain at the same time, takes a Q&A format.
What’s a bootblack? When a leather event advertises “bootblack in attendance,” it means there will be someone there polishing (or shining) boots. This person will probably use a lot of black boot polish and very little of any other color-—hence, “bootblack.”
How do hanky codes work? I could fill three columns answering this question. Here are the basics: Hanky in left pocket = top or dominant. Hanky in right pocket = bottom or submissive. Common colors: navy blue = fucking, grey = light SM [this was disputed, and I later published a correction: grey = bondage], black = heavy SM, red = fisting, yellow = watersports. (If you want to know what “fisting” or “watersports” are, ask me and I’ll tell you in a future column—see below.) There are many, many more, including handcuffs and teddy bears.
Keep in mind that in the dim light of a bar it’s sometimes difficult to tell exactly what color a hanky is, and some of the colors are pretty close even in the daylight. If you have a question about what color a hanky is or what it means, it’s okay to ask. It’s better to find out the color while you’re still at the bar, instead of dragging someone home only to find that the hanky you thought was navy blue is really black (or vice versa).
What exactly is this “leather community” that you’re always talking about? That was a humbling question to hear. Since I understand what it is, I just assume everyone else does too. For those of you who have been scratching your heads wondering what this “leather community” is all about, here’s as good an explanation as I can come up with.
There is no exact definition of the leather community; in order to belong you don’t have to join anything, or sign up for anything. You can join a club if you want, but you don’t have to. (That’s where another term, “GDI”—which stands for “God-Damned Independent”—comes from.) Basically, anyone who desires to be part of the community can join it.
So who are the people in the leather community? Members can be any age and any sexual orientation. There are gay men, gay women, bisexuals (people who feel attraction for both sexes), pansexuals (people who play sexually with both sexes), and even straights. Some people in the leather community don’t even wear that much leather—they may be more into latex, or spandex, or other types of fetishwear. Some members are into heavy sadomasochism, some only slightly, some not at all.
It’s a pretty diverse and wide-ranging group which happens to be united by several characteristics. We tend to be drawn to things and activities, sexually and in other areas of our lives, that general “polite” (or “vanilla”) society frowns upon and says we should feel ashamed of. We tend not to feel ashamed of them, however, but to celebrate them instead. That makes us outlaws, but for a lot of us that just adds to the excitement. We may sometimes find ourselves ostracized and shunned by “polite” society for what we see as flimsy reasons. Because we don’t appreciate being shunned, it behooves us not to shun anyone else just because they may see things differently that we do. That means the leather community, at its best, is a very open and accepting group of people.
Now, an invitation: If you have a question, send it BY MAIL to my attention c/o Lavender Lifestyles. I can’t promise I’ll answer them all, but I’ll answer as many as I can. And if I don’t know the answer, someone else probably will. (Please, no phone calls. The LavLife staff are wonderful people, and I’d hate to put them in the spot of having to take all those messages for me.)
Good Luck to Dale Willman: On Saturday, December 9, our own Dale Willman will be competing in the Mr. Great Plains Olympus competition at the Triangle in Denver. (For the record, a Ms. Great Plains Olympus winner will also be chosen, but Dale won’t be in that competition.) The winners go on to compete in the first-ever International Mr. and Ms. Olympus competition February 10 in New Orleans. This international contest is part of the Pantheon of Leather and is presented by The Leather Journal.
What’s a bootblack? How do hanky codes work? When you talk about the “leather community,” what exactly are you talking about?
These are just a few of the leather-related questions I’ve heard lately, and those questions deserve answers. Therefore, today’s column, striving to educate, inform and entertain at the same time, takes a Q&A format.
What’s a bootblack? When a leather event advertises “bootblack in attendance,” it means there will be someone there polishing (or shining) boots. This person will probably use a lot of black boot polish and very little of any other color-—hence, “bootblack.”
How do hanky codes work? I could fill three columns answering this question. Here are the basics: Hanky in left pocket = top or dominant. Hanky in right pocket = bottom or submissive. Common colors: navy blue = fucking, grey = light SM [this was disputed, and I later published a correction: grey = bondage], black = heavy SM, red = fisting, yellow = watersports. (If you want to know what “fisting” or “watersports” are, ask me and I’ll tell you in a future column—see below.) There are many, many more, including handcuffs and teddy bears.
Keep in mind that in the dim light of a bar it’s sometimes difficult to tell exactly what color a hanky is, and some of the colors are pretty close even in the daylight. If you have a question about what color a hanky is or what it means, it’s okay to ask. It’s better to find out the color while you’re still at the bar, instead of dragging someone home only to find that the hanky you thought was navy blue is really black (or vice versa).
What exactly is this “leather community” that you’re always talking about? That was a humbling question to hear. Since I understand what it is, I just assume everyone else does too. For those of you who have been scratching your heads wondering what this “leather community” is all about, here’s as good an explanation as I can come up with.
There is no exact definition of the leather community; in order to belong you don’t have to join anything, or sign up for anything. You can join a club if you want, but you don’t have to. (That’s where another term, “GDI”—which stands for “God-Damned Independent”—comes from.) Basically, anyone who desires to be part of the community can join it.
So who are the people in the leather community? Members can be any age and any sexual orientation. There are gay men, gay women, bisexuals (people who feel attraction for both sexes), pansexuals (people who play sexually with both sexes), and even straights. Some people in the leather community don’t even wear that much leather—they may be more into latex, or spandex, or other types of fetishwear. Some members are into heavy sadomasochism, some only slightly, some not at all.
It’s a pretty diverse and wide-ranging group which happens to be united by several characteristics. We tend to be drawn to things and activities, sexually and in other areas of our lives, that general “polite” (or “vanilla”) society frowns upon and says we should feel ashamed of. We tend not to feel ashamed of them, however, but to celebrate them instead. That makes us outlaws, but for a lot of us that just adds to the excitement. We may sometimes find ourselves ostracized and shunned by “polite” society for what we see as flimsy reasons. Because we don’t appreciate being shunned, it behooves us not to shun anyone else just because they may see things differently that we do. That means the leather community, at its best, is a very open and accepting group of people.
Now, an invitation: If you have a question, send it BY MAIL to my attention c/o Lavender Lifestyles. I can’t promise I’ll answer them all, but I’ll answer as many as I can. And if I don’t know the answer, someone else probably will. (Please, no phone calls. The LavLife staff are wonderful people, and I’d hate to put them in the spot of having to take all those messages for me.)
——
Good Luck to Dale Willman: On Saturday, December 9, our own Dale Willman will be competing in the Mr. Great Plains Olympus competition at the Triangle in Denver. (For the record, a Ms. Great Plains Olympus winner will also be chosen, but Dale won’t be in that competition.) The winners go on to compete in the first-ever International Mr. and Ms. Olympus competition February 10 in New Orleans. This international contest is part of the Pantheon of Leather and is presented by The Leather Journal.
Friday, November 24, 1995
Leatherman of MN/Ms. MN Leather
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #13, November 24, 1995)
The Leatherman of Minnesota/Ms. Minnesota Leather contest was held Sunday, Nov. 5 in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. In spite of talk about the community being burned out on contests, those in attendance certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves. Darlette Knox won the Ms. Minnesota Leather title, while runner-up BK took the Ms. Twin Cities Leather title. The new Leatherman of Minnesota is Thomas (who was runner-up in the recent Mr. Minnesota Leather contest). True, Thomas was the only male contestant, but he still had to earn the title. In situations such as this, the contestant must score a certain minimum number of points or the title is not awarded. (I was at a contest in Omaha last year where that happened; the only male contestant didn’t score enough points and the current titleholder was asked to hold the title for a second year.) Congratulations to Darlette, BK and Thomas; I thought you all presented yourselves very well.
The show was ably cohosted by Beth Kelley (Ms. Leather Madison) and new Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon, who did quite well in his first experience as an emcee. Crowd-pleasing fantasies were presented by Dale Willman and troy, Darlette Knox and strong>Nickie, Beth Kelley and Goo, and Tiffany Cartier, the new Miss Gay 90’s (who performed three fantasies!).
Man Bites Community, cont’d.: The recent potshots aimed by the Club Kids at the leather community in Demure Butchness #7 certainly have the community talking. This week’s topic: young people and “pretty boys.”
The Club Kids point to a paradox: At most leather events you hear lip service paid to the concepts of unity, acceptance and inclusiveness. Yet one Club Kid has been told he was too much of a “pretty boy” to fit into the leather community, and another was told that he was too emotionally immature and should try again later when he could “handle it.”
Great Lakes Drummerboy troy responds that although he’s young, he certainly feels welcome in the community. In an interview, Atons president B.D. Chambers made the point that yes, the leather mentoring system has broken down due to AIDS and the community hasn’t had a chance to rebuild it yet. “It’s not we don’t welcome young people,” says Bruce, “but no one likes someone who’s pretty and knows it and thinks he’s prettier than everyone else. There are people who will show up at the Halloween party, for instance, and have some fun but who then won’t talk to you on the street, because you aren’t pretty enough or fashionable enough. And they aren’t afraid to tell you about it. The way to get involved is to show up at events and talk to people. If you show up at events, but you just stand around and make faces at people who don’t fit your image, you’re not going to meet people or get involved in the community. And you will find other people standoffish.
“Bitchiness aside, there are valid points to this diatribe. We do need to be aware that we need to find a way to reach out to new people and to make ourselves accessible. We need to rebuild or replace the old mentoring system, so that as people express interest in leather they can find a way to hook in and learn about the community and lifestyle.
“It’s good to take a moment to reflect on our attitudes — are we being standoffish? Are we thinking that just because they’re good-looking they must be “pretty boys” and therefore unapproachable? Self-analysis can be useful, and having someone in our face about it, while not fun, does give us a moment to ask ourselves these questions.”
UPCOMING EVENT
Atons “Making the Streets Safe For Santa” Party
Sunday, Dec 3, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex and Men’s Room.
With a theme like this, you know it’s going to be good. Entertainment of all sorts is planned including a self-defense instructor (!). Vince will be cutting hair and a leather Santa or two will be there, posing with patrons for pictures. Food, keg beer and sodas will be provided. Admission is $8 at door, or $5 with non-perishable food items or a new (non-giftwrapped) toy. The food items and toys will be given to the Aliveness Project while door receipts benefit the Queer Street Patrol. The Atons has a voice-mail line for questions; or for leather technophiles, their e-mail address is ATONSMPLS@aol.com.
The Leatherman of Minnesota/Ms. Minnesota Leather contest was held Sunday, Nov. 5 in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. In spite of talk about the community being burned out on contests, those in attendance certainly seemed to be enjoying themselves. Darlette Knox won the Ms. Minnesota Leather title, while runner-up BK took the Ms. Twin Cities Leather title. The new Leatherman of Minnesota is Thomas (who was runner-up in the recent Mr. Minnesota Leather contest). True, Thomas was the only male contestant, but he still had to earn the title. In situations such as this, the contestant must score a certain minimum number of points or the title is not awarded. (I was at a contest in Omaha last year where that happened; the only male contestant didn’t score enough points and the current titleholder was asked to hold the title for a second year.) Congratulations to Darlette, BK and Thomas; I thought you all presented yourselves very well.
The show was ably cohosted by Beth Kelley (Ms. Leather Madison) and new Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon, who did quite well in his first experience as an emcee. Crowd-pleasing fantasies were presented by Dale Willman and troy, Darlette Knox and strong>Nickie, Beth Kelley and Goo, and Tiffany Cartier, the new Miss Gay 90’s (who performed three fantasies!).
Man Bites Community, cont’d.: The recent potshots aimed by the Club Kids at the leather community in Demure Butchness #7 certainly have the community talking. This week’s topic: young people and “pretty boys.”
The Club Kids point to a paradox: At most leather events you hear lip service paid to the concepts of unity, acceptance and inclusiveness. Yet one Club Kid has been told he was too much of a “pretty boy” to fit into the leather community, and another was told that he was too emotionally immature and should try again later when he could “handle it.”
Great Lakes Drummerboy troy responds that although he’s young, he certainly feels welcome in the community. In an interview, Atons president B.D. Chambers made the point that yes, the leather mentoring system has broken down due to AIDS and the community hasn’t had a chance to rebuild it yet. “It’s not we don’t welcome young people,” says Bruce, “but no one likes someone who’s pretty and knows it and thinks he’s prettier than everyone else. There are people who will show up at the Halloween party, for instance, and have some fun but who then won’t talk to you on the street, because you aren’t pretty enough or fashionable enough. And they aren’t afraid to tell you about it. The way to get involved is to show up at events and talk to people. If you show up at events, but you just stand around and make faces at people who don’t fit your image, you’re not going to meet people or get involved in the community. And you will find other people standoffish.
“Bitchiness aside, there are valid points to this diatribe. We do need to be aware that we need to find a way to reach out to new people and to make ourselves accessible. We need to rebuild or replace the old mentoring system, so that as people express interest in leather they can find a way to hook in and learn about the community and lifestyle.
“It’s good to take a moment to reflect on our attitudes — are we being standoffish? Are we thinking that just because they’re good-looking they must be “pretty boys” and therefore unapproachable? Self-analysis can be useful, and having someone in our face about it, while not fun, does give us a moment to ask ourselves these questions.”
UPCOMING EVENT
Atons “Making the Streets Safe For Santa” Party
Sunday, Dec 3, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex and Men’s Room.
With a theme like this, you know it’s going to be good. Entertainment of all sorts is planned including a self-defense instructor (!). Vince will be cutting hair and a leather Santa or two will be there, posing with patrons for pictures. Food, keg beer and sodas will be provided. Admission is $8 at door, or $5 with non-perishable food items or a new (non-giftwrapped) toy. The food items and toys will be given to the Aliveness Project while door receipts benefit the Queer Street Patrol. The Atons has a voice-mail line for questions; or for leather technophiles, their e-mail address is ATONSMPLS@aol.com.
Friday, November 10, 1995
Contest Winners
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #12, November 10, 1995)
As George Bush would say, it’s been Contest City around here lately, but contest attendance has been rather light. For those of you who weren’t there, here’s what you missed at the Mr. Minnesota Leather contest and the Mr. Gay 90’s Leather contest.
Mr. Minnesota Leather:
Six men competed for this title on a recent Saturday afternoon in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. The show started with high-energy precision dance troupe 202 Jam (the audience loved them). Later in the show, comedienne Jody Maruska drew big laughs and much applause.
Contestants John and Gary performed their fantasy together (the first fantasy I’ve ever seen that included a cellular phone!). Thomas performed a hot shaving fantasy in a jockstrap. Norm did a classic S&M (stand & model) fantasy, but did it so very well. LaRon’s fantasy got the biggest audience reaction due to his wicked Bette Davis impression. Michael’s fantasy featured special guest star Dr. Bob (and slave) doing a heavy-duty bondage demo.
The erotic attire contest segment could have been better. This was not the fault of the contestants, who did the best they could under very bad circumstances—bright, flat lighting and absolute silence. Memo for next year: it’s much easier to be seductive when you have some sexy music and lighting getting the audience in the mood.
The results: 2nd runner-up, LaRon; 1st runner-up, Thomas; and the new Mr. Minnesota Leather, Michael DeLeon. Congratulations and best wishes to all.
Mr. Gay 90’s Leather:
In previous years this contest, held in the Men’s Room Bar, has been loud, boisterous, rowdy—but certainly never boring! What happened this year? Did the entire audience overdose on Prozac? The first contestant strutted his stuff and got absolutely no reaction from the (small) crowd. The off-stage announcer said, “You can clap if you want to.” I tried to start some applause, but it didn’t work. Three more contestants met the same lack of response. Finally, Bill Thompson took the stage in a spectacular chain harness and got some applause, as did Lee Sickler, the last contestant. Congratulations to winner Bill Thompson; thanks to you there will be another good-looking leatherman’s portrait hanging on the wall of the 90’s. And to Bill and the other contestants: Please don’t let this rather lackluster contest experience dim your enthusiasm for leather in general or leather contests in particular. Any of the contestants would be a welcome addition to any other leather contest.
Man Bites Community:
Fellow LavLife columnist Timothy Lee also publishes a ’zine called Demure Butchness. Issue #7, “The Nasty Issue,” more than lives up to its name as Timmer & Co. diss just about everybody. There are references to the leather community sprinkled throughout its pages, but the most vitriol is found on pages 40 and 41, in which the “Club Kids” bitch about various aspects of the community, including this column, which they say is “usually about surface previews of upcoming events at the Gay 90’s.” They’re right when they say “That’s calendar listing materials.” But so far, there is no local newsletter (like they have in Seattle, for instance), and I’ve never seen a local leather calendar other than those formerly issued by the Atons. Quite often at leather events I’ve had people tell me they wouldn’t have known about the event except for this column. That tells me it’s filling a need within the community.
The Club Kids say they would like some “education and outreach” columns. Well, I’ve written columns that dealt with topics such as my leather family, or ways to take “safe, sane and consensual” beyond the dungeon and apply it to other areas of life. I got good feedback on those columns, and I’d like to do more of the same, but I only have so much space available in this magazine.
The Club Kids have much more to say about the current state of the local leather community. If you want to be outraged, or just see some sacred leather cows gored, pick up a copy of Issue #7 of Demure Butchness. You may agree, you may disagree, but it will certainly make you think. Available at A Brother’s Touch or Dreamhaven Books or send $3 to Demure Butchness, Minneapolis, MN. (And no, Timmer did not pay for this plug, either monetarily or in trade.)
UPCOMING EVENT
Black Guard Chili Feed
Sunday, Nov. 19, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
$5 gets you beer, chili, and the famously rowdy atmosphere that this event is noted for.
As George Bush would say, it’s been Contest City around here lately, but contest attendance has been rather light. For those of you who weren’t there, here’s what you missed at the Mr. Minnesota Leather contest and the Mr. Gay 90’s Leather contest.
Mr. Minnesota Leather:
Six men competed for this title on a recent Saturday afternoon in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. The show started with high-energy precision dance troupe 202 Jam (the audience loved them). Later in the show, comedienne Jody Maruska drew big laughs and much applause.
Contestants John and Gary performed their fantasy together (the first fantasy I’ve ever seen that included a cellular phone!). Thomas performed a hot shaving fantasy in a jockstrap. Norm did a classic S&M (stand & model) fantasy, but did it so very well. LaRon’s fantasy got the biggest audience reaction due to his wicked Bette Davis impression. Michael’s fantasy featured special guest star Dr. Bob (and slave) doing a heavy-duty bondage demo.
The erotic attire contest segment could have been better. This was not the fault of the contestants, who did the best they could under very bad circumstances—bright, flat lighting and absolute silence. Memo for next year: it’s much easier to be seductive when you have some sexy music and lighting getting the audience in the mood.
The results: 2nd runner-up, LaRon; 1st runner-up, Thomas; and the new Mr. Minnesota Leather, Michael DeLeon. Congratulations and best wishes to all.
Mr. Gay 90’s Leather:
In previous years this contest, held in the Men’s Room Bar, has been loud, boisterous, rowdy—but certainly never boring! What happened this year? Did the entire audience overdose on Prozac? The first contestant strutted his stuff and got absolutely no reaction from the (small) crowd. The off-stage announcer said, “You can clap if you want to.” I tried to start some applause, but it didn’t work. Three more contestants met the same lack of response. Finally, Bill Thompson took the stage in a spectacular chain harness and got some applause, as did Lee Sickler, the last contestant. Congratulations to winner Bill Thompson; thanks to you there will be another good-looking leatherman’s portrait hanging on the wall of the 90’s. And to Bill and the other contestants: Please don’t let this rather lackluster contest experience dim your enthusiasm for leather in general or leather contests in particular. Any of the contestants would be a welcome addition to any other leather contest.
Man Bites Community:
Fellow LavLife columnist Timothy Lee also publishes a ’zine called Demure Butchness. Issue #7, “The Nasty Issue,” more than lives up to its name as Timmer & Co. diss just about everybody. There are references to the leather community sprinkled throughout its pages, but the most vitriol is found on pages 40 and 41, in which the “Club Kids” bitch about various aspects of the community, including this column, which they say is “usually about surface previews of upcoming events at the Gay 90’s.” They’re right when they say “That’s calendar listing materials.” But so far, there is no local newsletter (like they have in Seattle, for instance), and I’ve never seen a local leather calendar other than those formerly issued by the Atons. Quite often at leather events I’ve had people tell me they wouldn’t have known about the event except for this column. That tells me it’s filling a need within the community.
The Club Kids say they would like some “education and outreach” columns. Well, I’ve written columns that dealt with topics such as my leather family, or ways to take “safe, sane and consensual” beyond the dungeon and apply it to other areas of life. I got good feedback on those columns, and I’d like to do more of the same, but I only have so much space available in this magazine.
The Club Kids have much more to say about the current state of the local leather community. If you want to be outraged, or just see some sacred leather cows gored, pick up a copy of Issue #7 of Demure Butchness. You may agree, you may disagree, but it will certainly make you think. Available at A Brother’s Touch or Dreamhaven Books or send $3 to Demure Butchness, Minneapolis, MN. (And no, Timmer did not pay for this plug, either monetarily or in trade.)
UPCOMING EVENT
Black Guard Chili Feed
Sunday, Nov. 19, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
$5 gets you beer, chili, and the famously rowdy atmosphere that this event is noted for.
Friday, October 27, 1995
S.F. Simply Fabulous, Part II
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #11, October 27, 1995)
San Francisco/Drummer/Folsom reminiscences, continued from last issue . . .
This year’s International Mr. Drummer contest was the best international leather contest I’ve ever seen. Tickets were pricey—$25 for general admission (standing) and $65 if you wanted a seat. It was worth every penny.
Our own Alvin Robinson’s fantasy was an improved version of the “personal Jesus” fantasy which won him the Great Lakes Mr. Drummer title. The audience liked it—a lot. His speech, delivered in distinctive southern-gospel-preacher cadence, also got plenty of applause.
Best fantasy music: Florida Drummer Ray Castro used Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana”—guaranteeing a big finish. His fantasy involved a painter whose portrait came to life. After getting nicely messy splashing each other with red paint (blood?), the two men embraced and stepped into a box which then spun around while spewing fireworks from its top. (How’s that for a sexual metaphor?)
Most politically-incorrect fantasy: Southern California Drummer Joe Spina’s fantasy started with the voice of a father yelling at his son that no kid of his was going to be a faggot. There was a gunshot and the audience gasped. The lights came on and we saw a twelve-foot-high cross, a kneeler—and the son, holding a gun to his head after killing his father. A priest (Spina) wrestled the son to the ground, knocking the gun out of his hand. The priest then stripped off his robes, revealing a harness underneath. What followed was an S&M scene to chilling Madonna lyrics: “You can’t hurt me now/I got away from you/I never thought I would.” Parental abuse, murder, Catholic priests and S&M in one disturbing and thought-provoking fantasy. (The son, incidentally, was Pup, Southern California Drummerboy who went on to win the International Drummerboy title.)
Spike, the muscular and gorgeous contestant from Australia, did a strip-to-naked-and-put-on-leather fantasy. You may recall that last year’s Great Lakes Mr. Drummer did something similar. But while I wasn’t allowed to be totally naked on stage, Spike was—with his back to the audience. He was standing in front of a “mirror,” which was really silver mylar, so the audience didn’t see a reflection of his front. (We just had to use our imaginations.)
The non-contestant entertainment was first-rate. Mimi=Freed poked fun at the macho hyper-masculine Drummer image and noted (quite correctly) that several of the contestants were seen lip-synching on stage! (I bet they just could have DIED of embarassment!) Vocalist Richie Waits, appearing in an androgynous dress and Cleopatra-style headdress, sang a unique rendition of “I Feel Pretty.” His final number, a wonderfully bizarre version of “Proud Mary,” exploded with energy: he became a male Tina Turner, and four backup dancers became male Ikettes. The audience was blown away. (Those four backup dancers were led by Charlie Seltz, the contest’s choreographer, who is a master dancer and choreographer—and a sweetheart besides.)
After the excitement of Saturday’s contest came Sunday and the Folsom Street Fair. 400,000 kinky people of all persuasions came out to see and be seen. Vendors ranged from the usual (t-shirts and buttons) to the unusual (a spanking booth). Colt man Steve Kelso was there, wearing too many clothes, shaking hands and giving autographs. The parties continued all night.
And then came Monday. The bars were deserted. The sex clubs were deserted. (Believe me, I checked.) Even the streets were quiet. If the previous week had been foreplay, and the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday was the leather tribe’s collective climax, then Monday was the day that San Francisco, exhausted, finally had a cigarette and drifted off to sleep.
LEATHER NEWS AND UPCOMING EVENTS
Monday, Oct. 30: Halloween Fetish party in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex (9 p.m. to closing). $200.00 first prize for Most Original Fetish Costume (Rubber & Leather).
Sunday, Nov. 5: Leatherman of Minnesota and Ms. Minnesota Leather contests, Gay 90’s Dance Annex, 4-9 p.m., contest at 5:30. No admission charge, donations accepted, all donations to charity. Beer and food will be provided. The atmosphere will be relaxed and social, with informational booths for clubs and other organizations. Ms. Minnesota Leather will compete in the upcoming International Ms. Leather contest, while the Leatherman of Minnesota will have a choice of international competitions. This event is the Minnesota Leather Den’s gift to the community in celebration of the fact that there will be a Ms. Minnesota Leather this year.
San Francisco/Drummer/Folsom reminiscences, continued from last issue . . .
This year’s International Mr. Drummer contest was the best international leather contest I’ve ever seen. Tickets were pricey—$25 for general admission (standing) and $65 if you wanted a seat. It was worth every penny.
Our own Alvin Robinson’s fantasy was an improved version of the “personal Jesus” fantasy which won him the Great Lakes Mr. Drummer title. The audience liked it—a lot. His speech, delivered in distinctive southern-gospel-preacher cadence, also got plenty of applause.
Best fantasy music: Florida Drummer Ray Castro used Carl Orff’s “Carmina Burana”—guaranteeing a big finish. His fantasy involved a painter whose portrait came to life. After getting nicely messy splashing each other with red paint (blood?), the two men embraced and stepped into a box which then spun around while spewing fireworks from its top. (How’s that for a sexual metaphor?)
Most politically-incorrect fantasy: Southern California Drummer Joe Spina’s fantasy started with the voice of a father yelling at his son that no kid of his was going to be a faggot. There was a gunshot and the audience gasped. The lights came on and we saw a twelve-foot-high cross, a kneeler—and the son, holding a gun to his head after killing his father. A priest (Spina) wrestled the son to the ground, knocking the gun out of his hand. The priest then stripped off his robes, revealing a harness underneath. What followed was an S&M scene to chilling Madonna lyrics: “You can’t hurt me now/I got away from you/I never thought I would.” Parental abuse, murder, Catholic priests and S&M in one disturbing and thought-provoking fantasy. (The son, incidentally, was Pup, Southern California Drummerboy who went on to win the International Drummerboy title.)
Spike, the muscular and gorgeous contestant from Australia, did a strip-to-naked-and-put-on-leather fantasy. You may recall that last year’s Great Lakes Mr. Drummer did something similar. But while I wasn’t allowed to be totally naked on stage, Spike was—with his back to the audience. He was standing in front of a “mirror,” which was really silver mylar, so the audience didn’t see a reflection of his front. (We just had to use our imaginations.)
The non-contestant entertainment was first-rate. Mimi=Freed poked fun at the macho hyper-masculine Drummer image and noted (quite correctly) that several of the contestants were seen lip-synching on stage! (I bet they just could have DIED of embarassment!) Vocalist Richie Waits, appearing in an androgynous dress and Cleopatra-style headdress, sang a unique rendition of “I Feel Pretty.” His final number, a wonderfully bizarre version of “Proud Mary,” exploded with energy: he became a male Tina Turner, and four backup dancers became male Ikettes. The audience was blown away. (Those four backup dancers were led by Charlie Seltz, the contest’s choreographer, who is a master dancer and choreographer—and a sweetheart besides.)
After the excitement of Saturday’s contest came Sunday and the Folsom Street Fair. 400,000 kinky people of all persuasions came out to see and be seen. Vendors ranged from the usual (t-shirts and buttons) to the unusual (a spanking booth). Colt man Steve Kelso was there, wearing too many clothes, shaking hands and giving autographs. The parties continued all night.
And then came Monday. The bars were deserted. The sex clubs were deserted. (Believe me, I checked.) Even the streets were quiet. If the previous week had been foreplay, and the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday was the leather tribe’s collective climax, then Monday was the day that San Francisco, exhausted, finally had a cigarette and drifted off to sleep.
LEATHER NEWS AND UPCOMING EVENTS
Monday, Oct. 30: Halloween Fetish party in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex (9 p.m. to closing). $200.00 first prize for Most Original Fetish Costume (Rubber & Leather).
Sunday, Nov. 5: Leatherman of Minnesota and Ms. Minnesota Leather contests, Gay 90’s Dance Annex, 4-9 p.m., contest at 5:30. No admission charge, donations accepted, all donations to charity. Beer and food will be provided. The atmosphere will be relaxed and social, with informational booths for clubs and other organizations. Ms. Minnesota Leather will compete in the upcoming International Ms. Leather contest, while the Leatherman of Minnesota will have a choice of international competitions. This event is the Minnesota Leather Den’s gift to the community in celebration of the fact that there will be a Ms. Minnesota Leather this year.
Friday, October 13, 1995
S.F. Simply Fabulous
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #10, October 13, 1995)
San Francisco was lovely, thank you. The International Mr. Drummer finals and the Folsom Street Fair were so spectacular I need more than one column to tell you about them. Here are just a few of the events and images that made the week memorable.
Tuesday: We (that’s your humble columnist and my partner Ken) had to change planes in Phoenix. While there we met Florida’s Mr. Drummer (Ray Castro), Drummerboy (Stephen Freeman, who has the most exotic eyelashes) and sponsor (Ed Ivey). That made the layover and flight from Phoenix to San Francisco much more interesting.
We stayed at a motel that was built in the 50’s. It was lovingly refurbished and painted in Caribbean colors with lush landscaping in the courtyard and a kidney-shaped swimming pool. It felt wonderfully tropical. It also felt like the most non-gay space in all of San Francisco. (Fortunately, that changed later in the week.)
Wednesday: At the press party, Ed Ryder (Mid-Atlantic Drummer) was standing next to Ray Castro and the effect was striking. The man next to me said breathlessly that they looked like two Tom of Finland drawings come to life. He was right.
Thursday: The “Fetish and Fantasy” ball featured many good fantasies and demonstrations on stage. But watching (and helping!) a gentleman from L.A. (whom we’d met at the press party) tie up a gentleman from Little Rock (whom we’d met at The Cove, a restaurant on Castro St.), was hotter than anything I saw on stage that evening.
Friday: The Leather “Cruise” Cruise featured many leather dignitaries (including me) “roasting” Keith Hunt, the outgoing International Mr. Drummer. That was fun, but the most outrageous part of the evening was the trip to and from the party. You’ve all seen the “River City Trolley” that shuttles tourists around Minneapolis? Well, San Francisco also has the same sort of fake trolleys (in addition to their real ones, of course). Imagine one of these fake trolleys, filled to overflowing with gay men in black leather, cruising past some of the most exclusive (straight) hotels and restaurants in San Francisco. Let’s just say we were noticed, and I wish I had pictures.
That takes us to Saturday and the contest, which was spectacular. Congratulations and best wishes to David W. Walker, the new International Mr. Drummer. He’s from the Rocky Mountain region (Colorado Springs), the same region that produced last year’s International Mr. Drummer, Keith Hunt. I’ll have details on the contest, and the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, next issue.
A flurry of contests: Hot on the heels of the Mr. Minnesota Leather contest (October 7), comes the Mr. MNBear contest (Sunday, October 15, 4-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Dance Annex). Then on Sunday, November 5, W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions presents the Minnesota Festival of Leather, featuring the Leatherman of Minnesota and Ms. Minnesota Leather contests. Contestants should have “knowledge of the leather community on a local, state, national, and international level, have the focus, direction and time commitment to fulfill community needs, attend and support special events and fundraisers, as well as networking with organizations.” Whew! Sounds like a lot, but Heartless of W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions says, “I know there are men and women out there in our leather community who can fill those boots.” Two meetings for those interested in competing will be held on October 15 and 29, 7 p.m. in the Piano Lounge (2nd floor, Gay 90’s).
Minnesota Leather Den’s Chamber of Horrors
Sunday, October 22, 4-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Annex
Even bigger than last year’s! Entertainment will feature local, regional and international titleholders. Other attractions are a Halloween costume contest, starvation cell, insane asylum, and a “pit from hell” (no, they’re not transporting my office to the 90’s). Embalming fluid will be served and “Save Your Soul” buttons will be sold. (I made the mistake of not buying one last year.) Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door; advance sales at the Gay 90’s are Thursdays-Sundays 9 p.m.-12:30 a.m. at the Sidewalk Shop (2nd floor behind the Piano Lounge) and Fridays and Saturdays 9 p.m.-midnight at the entrance to the Men’s Room bar. Also, anyone interested in auditioning for a character part or helping build the Chamber is invited to call for more information.
Photo caption:
David W. Walker, the new International Mr. Drummer, is flanked by Ray Castro (first runner-up, left) and Ed Ryder (second runner-up, right).
San Francisco was lovely, thank you. The International Mr. Drummer finals and the Folsom Street Fair were so spectacular I need more than one column to tell you about them. Here are just a few of the events and images that made the week memorable.
Tuesday: We (that’s your humble columnist and my partner Ken) had to change planes in Phoenix. While there we met Florida’s Mr. Drummer (Ray Castro), Drummerboy (Stephen Freeman, who has the most exotic eyelashes) and sponsor (Ed Ivey). That made the layover and flight from Phoenix to San Francisco much more interesting.
We stayed at a motel that was built in the 50’s. It was lovingly refurbished and painted in Caribbean colors with lush landscaping in the courtyard and a kidney-shaped swimming pool. It felt wonderfully tropical. It also felt like the most non-gay space in all of San Francisco. (Fortunately, that changed later in the week.)
Wednesday: At the press party, Ed Ryder (Mid-Atlantic Drummer) was standing next to Ray Castro and the effect was striking. The man next to me said breathlessly that they looked like two Tom of Finland drawings come to life. He was right.
Thursday: The “Fetish and Fantasy” ball featured many good fantasies and demonstrations on stage. But watching (and helping!) a gentleman from L.A. (whom we’d met at the press party) tie up a gentleman from Little Rock (whom we’d met at The Cove, a restaurant on Castro St.), was hotter than anything I saw on stage that evening.
Friday: The Leather “Cruise” Cruise featured many leather dignitaries (including me) “roasting” Keith Hunt, the outgoing International Mr. Drummer. That was fun, but the most outrageous part of the evening was the trip to and from the party. You’ve all seen the “River City Trolley” that shuttles tourists around Minneapolis? Well, San Francisco also has the same sort of fake trolleys (in addition to their real ones, of course). Imagine one of these fake trolleys, filled to overflowing with gay men in black leather, cruising past some of the most exclusive (straight) hotels and restaurants in San Francisco. Let’s just say we were noticed, and I wish I had pictures.
That takes us to Saturday and the contest, which was spectacular. Congratulations and best wishes to David W. Walker, the new International Mr. Drummer. He’s from the Rocky Mountain region (Colorado Springs), the same region that produced last year’s International Mr. Drummer, Keith Hunt. I’ll have details on the contest, and the Folsom Street Fair on Sunday, next issue.
A flurry of contests: Hot on the heels of the Mr. Minnesota Leather contest (October 7), comes the Mr. MNBear contest (Sunday, October 15, 4-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Dance Annex). Then on Sunday, November 5, W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions presents the Minnesota Festival of Leather, featuring the Leatherman of Minnesota and Ms. Minnesota Leather contests. Contestants should have “knowledge of the leather community on a local, state, national, and international level, have the focus, direction and time commitment to fulfill community needs, attend and support special events and fundraisers, as well as networking with organizations.” Whew! Sounds like a lot, but Heartless of W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions says, “I know there are men and women out there in our leather community who can fill those boots.” Two meetings for those interested in competing will be held on October 15 and 29, 7 p.m. in the Piano Lounge (2nd floor, Gay 90’s).
Minnesota Leather Den’s Chamber of Horrors
Sunday, October 22, 4-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Annex
Even bigger than last year’s! Entertainment will feature local, regional and international titleholders. Other attractions are a Halloween costume contest, starvation cell, insane asylum, and a “pit from hell” (no, they’re not transporting my office to the 90’s). Embalming fluid will be served and “Save Your Soul” buttons will be sold. (I made the mistake of not buying one last year.) Tickets are $8 in advance and $10 at the door; advance sales at the Gay 90’s are Thursdays-Sundays 9 p.m.-12:30 a.m. at the Sidewalk Shop (2nd floor behind the Piano Lounge) and Fridays and Saturdays 9 p.m.-midnight at the entrance to the Men’s Room bar. Also, anyone interested in auditioning for a character part or helping build the Chamber is invited to call for more information.
Photo caption:
David W. Walker, the new International Mr. Drummer, is flanked by Ray Castro (first runner-up, left) and Ed Ryder (second runner-up, right).
Friday, September 29, 1995
The Time-Delay Factor
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #9, September 29, 1995)
There are things about writing a column I still haven’t quite figured out. For instance, the time-delay factor: I’m writing this column before going to San Francisco for the International Mr. Drummer contest and the Folsom Street Fair. By the time this column hits the streets I’ll be back in the Twin Cities and the new International Mr. Drummer will have been crowned. So I have a choice—I can write in future-tense, which is appropriate now, as I’m sitting here writing. Or I can write in past-tense, which will be appropriate when the magazine comes out. What to do, what to do?
Well, let’s be realistic about this. There’s no way I could write about it past-tense, since the question on everyone’s lips would be “Who won the contest?” And there would be no way I could answer that. So I will be honest and tell you (in future tense) that I’m going to San Francisco as one of the sponsors of Alvin Robinson, our Great Lakes Mr. Drummer 1995. I am going as a journalist. (I get a press pass and everything!) And I am going for a reunion with a lot of the guys I competed against last year, including the outgoing International Mr. Drummer 1995, Keith Hunt. Keith will be “roasted” by various members of the leather community during a cruise on San Francisco Bay the Friday night before the contest. Next issue, I promise I’ll tell you who won, and I’ll have as many details of the weekend as I can shoehorn into this space.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Mr. Minnesota Leather Contest
October 6 and 7
Something will happen at this contest that’s been a long time coming. J.D. Laufman, who has held a few titles over the years, will finally get to step down from one. You may think that’s a minor point, but it isn’t. The fact that I got to step down from my title makes me one of the lucky ones. After a year of holding my title, it felt good to give that final public performance and to hear the applause one last time. It completed the experience for me. I know a lot of other people who have held titles and didn’t get to have a stepdown. J.D., due to the whims of circumstance, didn’t have a public stepdown from his year as Great Lakes Mr. Drummer 1993, and the same goes for the titles he held before that, Mr. Minnesota Drummer 1993 and Mr. Leather Gay 90’s 1991. Now, finally, he can step down from Mr. Minnesota Leather 1995 and pass on the title to the lucky winner of Mr. Minnesota Leather 1996.
Friday, October 6, there will be a meet-the-contestants beer bash in the Men’s Room bar at the Gay 90’s 9 p.m.-1 a.m. The actual contest is on Saturday, October 7, 4-9 p.m. in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. Friday-night beer-bash admission is $6 at the door; Saturday-night contest admission is $12 at the door. Weekend package tickets (admission to both events) are $15 and are available from the bartenders in the Men’s Room bar.
Other Upcoming Events
The Mr. Minnesota Leather contest kicks off an October that’s filled with interesting events. Sunday, October 15 marks the first annual Mr. MNBear Contest. Yes, that’s right, it’s the first one. The Bear contest that was held about a year ago was the Mr. Minnesota Bear contest—a different contest with different promoters. That contest was won by Corliss W. Resor, who is finishing up his title year as Mr. Minnesota Bear 1994-95. Corliss has been very active in the community and has been involved in many events, including fundraisers and “entertaining the troops.” Unfortunately, he’s another titleholder who will probably not have the luxury of stepping down from his title (see my previous comments about stepping down). Take a bow, Corliss, you done yourself (and the community) proud.
The next Sunday, October 22, is the Minnesota Leather Den’s Chamber of Horrors II. New Den President BK tells me the Den has been working very hard and it should be a memorable Halloween experience, so mark your calendars now! Also, anyone interesting in helping the Den construct the Chamber of Horrors can come to the Club Metro at 6 p.m. on Tuesday nights now through October 17.
There are things about writing a column I still haven’t quite figured out. For instance, the time-delay factor: I’m writing this column before going to San Francisco for the International Mr. Drummer contest and the Folsom Street Fair. By the time this column hits the streets I’ll be back in the Twin Cities and the new International Mr. Drummer will have been crowned. So I have a choice—I can write in future-tense, which is appropriate now, as I’m sitting here writing. Or I can write in past-tense, which will be appropriate when the magazine comes out. What to do, what to do?
Well, let’s be realistic about this. There’s no way I could write about it past-tense, since the question on everyone’s lips would be “Who won the contest?” And there would be no way I could answer that. So I will be honest and tell you (in future tense) that I’m going to San Francisco as one of the sponsors of Alvin Robinson, our Great Lakes Mr. Drummer 1995. I am going as a journalist. (I get a press pass and everything!) And I am going for a reunion with a lot of the guys I competed against last year, including the outgoing International Mr. Drummer 1995, Keith Hunt. Keith will be “roasted” by various members of the leather community during a cruise on San Francisco Bay the Friday night before the contest. Next issue, I promise I’ll tell you who won, and I’ll have as many details of the weekend as I can shoehorn into this space.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Mr. Minnesota Leather Contest
October 6 and 7
Something will happen at this contest that’s been a long time coming. J.D. Laufman, who has held a few titles over the years, will finally get to step down from one. You may think that’s a minor point, but it isn’t. The fact that I got to step down from my title makes me one of the lucky ones. After a year of holding my title, it felt good to give that final public performance and to hear the applause one last time. It completed the experience for me. I know a lot of other people who have held titles and didn’t get to have a stepdown. J.D., due to the whims of circumstance, didn’t have a public stepdown from his year as Great Lakes Mr. Drummer 1993, and the same goes for the titles he held before that, Mr. Minnesota Drummer 1993 and Mr. Leather Gay 90’s 1991. Now, finally, he can step down from Mr. Minnesota Leather 1995 and pass on the title to the lucky winner of Mr. Minnesota Leather 1996.
Friday, October 6, there will be a meet-the-contestants beer bash in the Men’s Room bar at the Gay 90’s 9 p.m.-1 a.m. The actual contest is on Saturday, October 7, 4-9 p.m. in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex. Friday-night beer-bash admission is $6 at the door; Saturday-night contest admission is $12 at the door. Weekend package tickets (admission to both events) are $15 and are available from the bartenders in the Men’s Room bar.
Other Upcoming Events
The Mr. Minnesota Leather contest kicks off an October that’s filled with interesting events. Sunday, October 15 marks the first annual Mr. MNBear Contest. Yes, that’s right, it’s the first one. The Bear contest that was held about a year ago was the Mr. Minnesota Bear contest—a different contest with different promoters. That contest was won by Corliss W. Resor, who is finishing up his title year as Mr. Minnesota Bear 1994-95. Corliss has been very active in the community and has been involved in many events, including fundraisers and “entertaining the troops.” Unfortunately, he’s another titleholder who will probably not have the luxury of stepping down from his title (see my previous comments about stepping down). Take a bow, Corliss, you done yourself (and the community) proud.
The next Sunday, October 22, is the Minnesota Leather Den’s Chamber of Horrors II. New Den President BK tells me the Den has been working very hard and it should be a memorable Halloween experience, so mark your calendars now! Also, anyone interesting in helping the Den construct the Chamber of Horrors can come to the Club Metro at 6 p.m. on Tuesday nights now through October 17.
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