Getting into Leather, 1993

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #323, December 7, 2007)

Tales Around the Holiday Fire

The holidays are a time for gathering around a warm, glowing fire and telling stories—not just holiday stories, but also family stories, stories of times gone by.

So gather around whatever fire you currently are near, be it a roaring fireplace or the glow of fifty-six candles in the dungeon just waiting for a hot-wax scene, and let your humble columnist tell you of some of his experiences in leather before he became your humble columnist—in 1993, when he was as fresh and as green as your Christmas tree.

When I came out as a gay man in 1974 the idea of leathersex intrigued me. In the ensuing years I thumbed through the leather magazines at Shinder’s, but I never went so far as to actually buy any. Over the years, though, the sense of intrigue only got stronger, and by 1993 I was ready at least to explore the idea of being a leatherman.

I bought my first piece of leather, a black biker vest, on a Saturday afternoon in August and wore it that evening to a concert performance of Leonard Bernstein’s Candide at Orchestra Hall. (Leather and show tunes—some things haven’t changed after all these years.)

The leather community I started hanging out with consisted primarily of gay men. There was a community of lesbian leatherwomen, too, and the community issue of the time was getting the men and women to feel comfortable with each other socially and politically. Occasionally I saw straight-but-not-narrow heterosexual individuals or couples at leather events, and they were certainly welcome. But at that time the local pansexual leather community was still several years in the future.

Much of the community’s life then was centered around The Gay 90’s and its various bar areas. The evening hangout was The Men’s Room Bar, but events such as fundraisers and contests were often held in other parts of the 90’s, such as the Dance Annex or the upstairs Casablanca Show Lounge.

The first Atons Leather/Levi Dinner I ever attended was a banquet held on a Saturday evening in September in the Men’s Room bar. I went with a friend and we showed up early. (I have never been early to a Leather/Levi dinner since.) We were met at the door by our host for the evening, a gentleman in black leather pants, a white formal dress shirt and wide black leather wristbands. He was very gracious and made us feel welcome. How could one resist such charm? One couldn’t.

The first leather contest I remember seeing was the 1993 Minnesota Leather Encounter (MLE) weekend, which included contests for the 1994 Mr. Minnesota Leather and Ms Minnesota Leather titles (which were awarded to Raymond LeBrun and Nikie Boswell). The ticket package for the weekend, which cost all of $30, included a Thursday evening kickoff at The Saloon, Friday evening meet-and-greet at the Gay 90’s Men’s Room Bar, a Saturday Fantasy Afternoon followed by dinner and cocktails in the Gay 90’s Dance Annex, and the contest and show Saturday evening in the Gay 90’s Casablanca Show Lounge.

Several notable guests came from out of town for the weekend: International Mr. Leather 1992 Lenny Broberg (who became Officer Broberg of the San Francisco Police Department); Amy Marie Meek, International Ms Leather 1993 (who went on to become Amy Marie Meek-DeJarlais and to produce the International Ms Leather contest for many years); and Kay Hallanger, International Ms Leather 1991.

The weekend ended with Sunday afternoon brunch at the Town House in St. Paul (then called Town House Country). One of my most indelible memories of that weekend is seeing Broberg at the brunch after a Minnesota welcome (?) ceremony: dressed in a hard hat and blaze-orange vest (because Minnesota always has a lot of road construction) with a frozen walleye (or was it a carp?) fastened to his chest with good ol’ Minnesota duct tape. I thought he handled it all rather well.

After experiencing that contest weekend, I was inspired (with prodding and encouragement from friends) to compete in my first leather contest. I was one of six or seven contestants in the Mr. Gay 90’s Leather contest, which was part of the bar’s annual Halloween festivities.

Wearing boots, Levi 501s and my leather vest, I was excited about my (literal) moment in the (literal) spotlight until the contestant before me, who turned out to be a budding porn star and the evening’s winner, got up on the platform in the Men’s Room Bar and doused himself and his leather with silver body paint. How does one follow an act like that? One doesn’t—one is just careful not to slip on the still-wet body paint on the platform.

Ah, memories. Some time I’ll have to tell you about 1994. In the meantime, I hope your holidays, whatever and however you celebrate, are magical.

How Leather Celebrates the Holidays

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #326, November 23, 2007)

Okay, we’ve all had Thanksgiving dinner and the holiday shopping and social season officially has started. Members of the leather/BDSM/fetish community prepare for and celebrate the holidays in many of the same ways as a lot of other folks. We shop; we bake cookies with the family; we raise money for charity and have fun doing it; and we share the holiday spirit by volunteering to help make other people’s holidays merry too.

Shopping: BIZARRE BAZAAR presented by MSDB

Last issue I gave you some suggestions for what to get that special someone on your list. Now let’s talk about where you can do your shopping for those hard-to-find (warning: euphemisms ahead) “specialty gifts,” “adult novelties” and “toys for big kids.”

On Saturday, Dec. 1, MSDB again will help you kick off the holiday shopping season by presenting another Bizarre Bazaar. This year’s new and larger location for the event is Pi Bar and Restaurant (2532 25th Ave. S., Minneapolis). Hours are noon-7 P.M. Due to the generosity of the gracious folks at Pi, there is no charge to enter the shopping area, which means more holiday dollars to spend on goodies from the friendly merchants and the great food that Pi offers. (Your humble columnist is especially fond of their desserts, meaning—what else?—pie.)

There also will be entertainment, a vacuum-bed fundraiser for the new Leather Flag, and a silent auction fundraiser for the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). For more information: <msdb-mn.org>.

Baking with the family: MINNESOTA KINKY COOKIE BAKERS

The silent auction at the Bizarre Bazaar will feature, among other items, several baskets of assorted cookies baked by the Minnesota Kinky Cookie Bakers. Each year, on the weekend before Thanksgiving, the group holds an annual non-kinky event for kinky people and their families.

Together the bakers produce thousands of cookies and holiday goodies to share, and they put together gift baskets to be auctioned off at charitable fundraisers. Children of community members join in to mix, roll, cut out, frost, decorate and count.

If you want to participate in next year’s event, ask for more details at the Bizarre Bazaar.

Having fun and doing good: ATONS HOLIDAY FUNDRAISER

How long have The Atons of Minneapolis been holding their annual Holiday Fundraiser? At least since 1995, the year your humble columnist started writing this column. I checked—that year the theme of the event was “Making the Streets Safe for Santa.”

This year’s Atons Holiday Fundraiser benefits both The Aliveness Project and Open Arms of Minnesota. The fundraiser takes place Sunday, Dec. 2, 5-10 P.M. in the Bolt Underground.

There are some changes this year. The Atons still are having a food drive (admission is a $7 donation at the door if you bring ten pounds of non-perishable food with you, a $10 donation at the door if you don’t). But instead of the silent and live auctions of the past several years, this year’s event will have more of a carnival atmosphere.

For every pound of food you bring you receive a ticket. Get more tickets and you increase your chance to win fabulous prizes. (If you’d like to donate one or many fabulous prizes to the event, please contact the Atons as soon as possible—see <atons.net> for contact details.)

Other event highlights include food and a selection of holiday carnival booths, including photos with Leather Santa (in the person of Dan Beach, Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2007) and a Santa spanking booth in case you’ve been naughty this year.

More information, including suggested food and other items to donate: <atons.net>.

Sharing the spirit: THE ALIVENESS PROJECT HOLIDAY BASKET PROGRAM

The food and other items the Atons collect at the door of their Holiday Fundraiser will be donated to The Aliveness Project. Some of it will stock The Aliveness Project’s food shelf, but much of it will be used by their Holiday Basket Program.

Founded in 1985, The Aliveness Project is a local nonprofit agency that offers a variety of services for individuals living with HIV/AIDS in Minnesota. Since 1988, their Holiday Basket Program has provided thousands of gift baskets to men, women and children throughout Minnesota affected by HIV/AIDS.

Typically, hundreds of volunteers help by adopting baskets, donating gifts, wrapping presents, baking cookies, sewing quilts or holiday stockings, and assembling and delivering both Hanukkah and Christmas baskets.

If you’d like to help by adopting a basket, making a donation or volunteering your time, contact The Aliveness Project at 612-824-LIFE (5433) or find more details at <aliveness.org>.

Leather Life’s Annual Holiday Gift Guide

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The Zen of Hankies

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #324, October 26, 2007)

Hankie haiku here

The zen of the hankie code

Read and you will know

Red hankie on left

You want to shove your fist where?

That sounds good to me

Dark red hankie right

I handle two fists at once

Even both of yours

Black right masochist

Breathlessly says thank you sir

May I have one more?

Grey in right pocket

I am a bondage bottom

Tie me up tightly

Charcoal hankie left

Rubber top looks for bottom

Latex is sexy

Mr. Businessman?

I’m flagging grey flannel right

Do you wear a suit?

Black and white checked left

I am into safer sex

I hope you are too

Yellow stripe on chaps

I am into watersports

I don’t mean swimming

Mustard hankie right

Tonight I’ll be a size queen

Got a big package?

Gold hankie on left

We are a loving couple

Looking for one more

Gold lamé flagged right

I like my men with muscles

Love your great physique

Apricot flagged right

Chubby means there’s more to love

I like them beefy

Tan in left or right

Cigar is just a cigar?

Let’s play and find out

Rust in left pocket

Cowboy seeking horse to ride

Yippee ki yi yay

Coral hanky left

Little piggies at market

Suck my toes, baby

Light pink right pocket

My tits are wired to my groin

Play with my nipples

Dark pink left pocket

I like to wield a dildo

Let me work on you

Fuchsia on left

Have you been a naughty boy?

Someone needs spanking

Lavender flagged right

You’re looking at a drag queen

Worship the diva

Red and white striped left

I like razors and lather

Need a shave, mister?

Purple left pocket

Looking for a piercing scene

Where’s my pin cushion?

Olive drab on left

Military drill sergeant

Follow orders, boy

Hunter green on right

Stud muffin boy on a quest

Are you my daddy?

Hustler here for hire

Kelly green in left pocket

I’m yours for a price

Robin’s egg blue left

Let us sing the glories of

The number 69

Medium blue left

Policeman wanting action

Obey the officer

White in right pocket

Brought to you by J and O

Simply the basics

Leopard hankie left

Let me show you my tattoos

I’m a work of art

Teddy bear flagged left

Want someone to cuddle with

Lots of big bear hugs

Tie-dyed hankie left

I’m a hippie and a top

Peace and love, brother

Cocktail napkin left

Wanna bed a bartender?

My shift ends at 2

Chamois left pocket

My motorcycle’s outside

Wanna come see it?

Doily right pocket

I’m a tea room toe tapper

Check out my wide stance

Stereo plug left

Sound system will fuck your ears

While I do the rest

Orange hankie left

I’m open to anything

What you got in mind?

For a rainbow tribe

A rainbow hankie spectrum

Now you understand

Leather Leadership Conference Podcasts: The Sound of Leather Leadership

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #323, October 12, 2007)

What does a Leather Leadership Conference sound like? Now you can find out.

Last April over 250 members of the leather/BDSM/fetish community met in Minneapolis for Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) XI. The weekend revolved around the development of community leadership skills and was devoted to discussion, dialogue, learning and networking. Major portions of it were audio-recorded for podcasting purposes.

That means you now have a chance to listen in on many of the conversations that took place that weekend.

A podcast, for those who wonder, is simply a sound recording distributed over the internet. You can listen to the recording on your computer using a web browser. Or you can download the recording and listen to it later on either your computer or your Apple iPod (hence the name “podcast”) or other MP3 player.

To hear the LLC XI podcasts visit <www.leatherleadership.org>, where you’ll find links to the audio files. You can listen to or download any podcast you choose. Or you can subscribe to automatically receive each new LLC podcast as it’s released. (And it’s free—at this time there is no charge for any of the LLC podcasts.)

During its eleven-year history, every Leather Leadership Conference has resulted in an unprecedented sharing of knowledge, experience and information about issues of value to the leather/BDSM/fetish community. In keeping with LLC’s goal of making this body of knowledge more easily accessible to everyone, a substantial amount of material from presentations given at past conferences is posted at the organization’s website (<www.leatherleadership.org/library.htm>).

The organizers of LLC XI in Minneapolis (led by your humble columnist) wanted to extend and expand this tradition by using the relatively new medium of podcasting. It was our goal to create podcasts of as much of LLC XI as possible.

Who will listen to them? Perhaps you attended LLC XI last April and want to refresh either your memory or your inspiration.

Perhaps there were two really interesting sessions scheduled in the same time slot, but you could only attend one. You might now be able to hear the session you missed. (Please note that not all sessions were recorded, however, so whether or not you can hear the session you missed comes down to the luck of the draw.)

Perhaps you couldn’t attend the conference last April. Here’s your chance to hear what you missed—thereby, at least to a certain extent, not missing it.

Are you thinking of attending next year’s Leather Leadership Conference? The LLC XI podcasts will give you an idea of what you can expect next year in San Francisco (April 11-13, 2008).

Or are you just curious about what happens at a Leather Leadership Conference? Give a listen. These podcasts are for anyone who wants to explore current issues in the leather/BDSM/fetish community, or who wants to develop their own leadership skills.

Here are the podcast episodes that are expected to be available by the publication date of this column:

• Opening Keynote with Barbara Nitke: “The Art of Sharing Power” (the first part of the overall LLC XI weekend theme). Nitke talks about her experiences in the community—what she has seen happen when power was shared, and what she has seen happen when it wasn’t. She also talks about her involvement in the community as artist, photographer and activist. (She is introduced by Patrick Scully, who offers a few good observations of his own.)

• Closing Keynote with John Pendal: “. . . a work in progress” (the second part of the overall LLC XI weekend theme). Pendal, who is International Mr. Leather 2003, starts by using his sly and dry British sense of humor to deliver a motivational speech of the type usually heard at tent revivals or Amway meetings—all the while describing each motivational trick even as he uses it. Then he drops the charade and offers some sobering and thought-provoking observations on the current state of leather leaders and organizations, along with a few challenges to perhaps do things differently and better.

• Saturday breakfast speech with Laura Antoniou: “Ho’s, Pros and Schmoes.” Noted author Antoniou discusses her view that the leather/BDSM/fetish community is maturing, and it is perhaps no longer becoming to conduct ourselves as rebellious adolescents. We’re growing out of that phase and into—what? Antoniou makes a good case for the community’s need for professionalism in our organizational leadership if the community is to grow and effectively meet the needs of its members. (While the printed transcript of this speech available on Antoniou’s website makes fascinating reading, hearing her voice actually delivering the speech takes her words to a whole new dimension.)

• The LLC Promotional Podcast. Prepared prior to the conference as a promotional vehicle, this podcast features interviews with Pendal and Antoniou. Host of the podcast is Graydancer, who also hosts the Ropecast, a podcast dealing with ropes and bondage.

In the coming weeks, plans call for some of the individual LLC XI sessions to be released as podcasts. Listen to or download any or all LLC podcasts at <www.leatherleadership.org>. You’ll also find information about next year’s Leather Leadership Conference in San Francisco, in case the podcasts inspire you to attend—and I hope they do.

An Open Letter to Senator Larry Craig

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #322, September 28, 2007)

Dear Senator Craig:

You’ve been having a bit of a rough patch lately, haven’t you? My condolences. I, for one, believe you when you say you’re not gay, and I applaud your decision to fight to clear your name.

It’s all so ironic, though, isn’t it? You, a stalwart spokesman for traditional family and moral values and against sexual lewdness and perversion, get very publicly trapped in a men’s room sting operation at the Minneapolis airport. If President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky caused eight-year-olds to ask questions about oral sex, you now have introduced them to the subject of tearoom trade. And all because of a perfect storm of misunderstanding.

That men’s room was known, in certain circles, to be cruisy. But, since you’re not gay, you wouldn’t know that. So you walked, blithely unaware, into this den of iniquity. You just needed to relieve yourself—and not in the sexual sense.

You saw a stall, but the door was closed. You really wanted to use that one, though, and it might have been vacant. It couldn’t hurt to see if it happened to be empty.

You peered through the crack between the door and the partition. You peered for several minutes. Maybe you were waiting for the other guy to finish.

Finally you gave up, went into the adjacent stall, and sat down. You put your suitcase in front of you in the stall, because where else were you going to put it? Sadly, you didn’t know how incriminating a place that was to put a suitcase.

You had just heard a rather catchy melody over the airport’s background-music system, one of those melodies you just can’t get out of your head. You unconsciously started to tap your toe to it.

As you have stated, you are a big guy and have a rather wide stance. And, like airplane seats, those stalls seem to get narrower and narrower. You inadvertently touched the foot of the gentleman in the next stall. You probably didn’t even notice.

Then, all of a sudden, your reverie was interrupted when you spied a renegade piece of paper on the floor. You didn’t put it there, and technically it may not even have been in your stall. But you knew the world would be a better, neater place if you picked it up.

So you put your hand down to pick it up. You put your hand down several times—you haven’t explained whether there were several pieces of paper or whether you repeatedly missed picking it up. Perhaps you couldn’t reach it because it was too far into the other stall.

Your heart must have sunk when the policeman showed you his badge. What was happening? What do you mean, I’m under arrest? Soliciting? For what? Officer, this is all a horrible misunderstanding. I’m not gay. I don’t do that sort of thing.

An brief aside, Senator: I’m gay, and I don’t do “that sort of thing.” I’m attracted to black leather, not white porcelain.

But “that sort of thing” works for many men because it’s the only outlet available to them as they anxiously live their double lives—straight, but occasionally needing a little covert man-to-man action. But since you “don’t do that sort of thing,” you wouldn’t know what that kind of desperation feels like.

Perhaps, however, you are beginning to understand the agony these men go through when they’re finally found out.

Maybe, Senator, some good can yet come of this. As I said, I hope you clear your name. But I also hope that, whether in the Senate or out of it, through this experience you will have gained some sympathy and  compassion for men trying to tamp down secret desires, and occasionally failing.

Perhaps in the future you will be less quick to criticize gay men now that you’ve been misidentified as one of them. Now that you’ve tasted anti-gay harassment, maybe you’ll be moved to help put a stop to it. For years men have been having sexual encounters in men’s rooms. For years police have been trying to stop it. Lives have been ruined in the process.

If you, Senator, really want to make a difference, introduce legislation to make sex clubs legal. That way, men who crave anonymous sex with other men will have a controlled, safe place in which to play, and the nation’s public restrooms can be returned to their original purpose. That would be a win for everyone.

Now, Senator, one last thing. If this were anyone else, I would urge them to get tested for AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Sadly, men who engage in covert sex tend to be less informed about the health risks involved, and hence often don’t take proper safety precautions. One of the things that might lead to their cover being blown is when they pick something up—anything from crabs to AIDS—and pass it on to their wives. I’m sure this doesn’t apply to you, though, so never mind.

In closing, good luck in the battles ahead, Senator.

Sincerely,

Your humble columnist

Designer Clothes, Designer Sheets, Designer Dungeons

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #321, September 14, 2007)

ILLUSTRATIONS: will be forwarded to Lavender. I currently have pictures of the “modern” designer dungeon referred to in the column, and several photos of Inseam Clothing items. I’m still working on getting illustrations from MindFetish.

“Designer” apparel and household goods once were limited-edition luxury items purchased only by a few. Then retailers like Target, Gap and Design Within Reach saw that good design could be good business—and suddenly all manner of designer apparel and household items are available to the masses.

Following this trend, some leather designers are building businesses offering high-design products and services to the leather/BDSM/fetish community.

Why is design important? After years of making do with makeshift dungeon space in a dark corner of the basement, many community members want something better—and find they’re in a position to afford it. This is a metaphor for the leather part of our lives: we no longer want to hide it, we want to celebrate it in style. Whether it’s play spaces, apparel or domestic items, we no longer are willing to settle for the second-class and the thrown-together.

And there are designers out there who are only too happy to create something wonderful for us. I recently talked to some of them, designing in the fields of apparel, home accessories and interior spaces.

Designer clothes

John Robb and Jeff Diaz have been life partners for seven years and business partners for six. Robb is a master pattern maker and fabric cutter, and Diaz formerly owned a garment screen-printing and embroidery business. Since they both love clothes—especially masculine, well-fitting pants—they decided to form a clothing company. They named it Inseam Clothing Co. because, as Diaz says, “What else would you call a company that makes pants?”

But these are not your average pair of khakis. One of the company’s mottos is “Clothing for a more uniform world,” and the company’s uniform-inspired cotton twill trousers are, in Diaz’ words, “well constructed, have really great fit, and are easy to wear year-round.” They are designed to be multifunctional—they can go from workday to dinner to a bar or a club, and they’re also practical for travel.

Robb makes the patterns and hand-cuts each piece of fabric. (He cuts with contours and curves, unlike many clothing manufacturers who cut pieces with only straight lines.) The company employs two seamstresses to help with the sewing, but Robb hand-finishes each pair of pants himself. The end result is a pair of pants with, according to Diaz, “style and a bit of an edge, without being over the top.”

Inseam also offers a line of T-shirts based on an exclusive pattern by Robb. The shirts offer excellent fit, graphics appropriate to a leather aesthetic, and good coordination with Inseam’s pants. T-shirts and trousers are both designed in line with the company’s other promotional motto, “Sexy at any age.” (And what’s not to like about that?) Inseam Clothing items are available at retailers in Provincetown, New York, San Francisco, Wilton Manors (Fla.) and at <www.inseamclothing.com>.

Designer sheets

Bed, bath and butch? Aiming to “incorporate a fetish lifestyle into the home,” MindFetish Bedding Co. offers an ever-expanding line of linens, apparel and other domestic items with a uniquely masculine attitude.

MindFetish founder Quincy Russell graduated with a BFA in fashion from Otis College of Art and Design in Los Angeles. He became a menswear designer with Rampage, Kenneth Cole, Bob Marley Music, Rocwear and Van’s. Then his career took an unexpected turn.

“One day I was at home and I realized my rooms didn’t reflect me at all. So I decided to find stuff that did. I went to department stores—nothing. I went to leather stores—nothing.”

One of the things Russell wanted but couldn’t find was a leather duvet cover. Because of his contacts in the menswear business, he knew a factory that could make one. “So I designed it and sent them the plans. Then it occurred to me that if I want this and can’t find it, how many other people want one?”

Thanks to MindFetish, not only can shoppers now choose from several styles of leather (or latex) duvet covers, they can also find fetish-inspired sheets, throw pillows, shower curtains, bathrobes and more. See the entire mind-boggling MindFetish line at <www.mindfetish.com>.

Designer dungeons

Twin Cities native Linda Ophoenix has studied both art and interior design. Her ambition now is to combine her two loves—art/design and BDSM—by designing dungeons, playspaces, bedrooms, and commercial spaces for leather/BDSM/fetish community members.

On her website (<www.ophoenixdesign.com>) are concepts for a classic dungeon, a modern dungeon, a Master’s bedroom, a combination kinky candle shop and community meeting space, and several themed rooms. She’s currently working on a femme-domme dungeon in pink and black.

Is the community ready to embrace the concept of a professionally-designed dungeon? Ophoenix said she doesn’t know, but “I’ve always heard you should do what you love, so I thought, why not go for it?” Based on the enthusiastic reception her designs received when she exhibited some of them at the recent Leather Leadership Conference in Minneapolis, we may be ready for an end to do-it-yourself dungeons as we entrust the design of our community’s spaces and surroundings to a pro.