(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #26, May 24, 1996)
There’s so much going on in the next two weeks that this entire column is devoted to upcoming leather events. Memorial Day Weekend kicks off the summer leather season in style with the International Mr. Leather contest and other related leather festivities in Chicago (as well as some major Bear events the same weekend). For those not traveling to Chicago this weekend the Atons present a military/uniform-themed event, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” that makes me wish yet again I could learn to be in two places at the same time.
The following weekend the Knights of Leather present the first run of summer, “Knights Tournament Eight,” and W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions presents “Ludicrous Leather Prom Night.” And the weekend after that the Black Guard team up with the Unicorns of Madison for a “Rod’s Remembrance” beer bust (and please note that this event happens on a Saturday as opposed to the expected Sunday.)
So much for the overview—here are the details, event by event.
PHOTO: Michael deLeon
Good Luck to Michael deLeon, Mr. Minnesota Leather 1996, this weekend at the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago!
The Atons present “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”
Sunday, May 26, 5-9 pm
Gay 90’s Men’s Room Bar (use 4th street side entrance)
Since it’s being held on Memorial Day Weekend, this event features an “I Love A Man In Uniform” contest. $7 admission ($5 with uniform or shirtless) gets you free keg beer & soda and free food from 5:30-7:30 pm. (The Atons’ last event, “Tax Time,” also encouraged shirtlessness and proved to be quite festive.)
Knights of Leather present “Knights Tournament Eight”
May 31-June 2
This medieval-themed run, complete with village square, is held at a private camp within a 16,000-acre wooded state park. Sleeping cabins have military bunks but no electricity; modern toilet and shower facilities do have electricity. Five home-cooked meals are provided (one of which is a fabulous medieval banquet), as well as continuous pop, sparkling water, beer, non-alcoholic beer, coffee and snacks. Weekend events include workshops, demonstrations and fantasies, and dungeon space is available all weekend. Cost is $115; for further information or to register call the Knights.
W.I.L.L.O.W. Productions presents “Ludicrous Leather Prom Night”
Sunday, June 2, 5-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
Ever wish you could turn back the clock and escort someone (or be escorted) to the high school prom of your dreams? Now’s your chance! And a fine, twisted leather prom it will be, too, so get your date lined up soon. (Singles also welcome, of course—unlike in high school.) Wear your fantasy prom attire—formal, leather, whatever. Suitable prom-type music will range from the 50’s to the 90’s. Highlight of the evening will be the crowning of the Leather Dominus and Domineer (royalty contest open to all couples); plans call for the lucky couple to win a champagne dinner for two at the 90’s. All this and entertainment, free food and beer. Your host for the evening: Ms. Minnesota Leather 1996 Darlette Knox in her last fundraiser before the International Ms. Leather contest. $5 at the door.
Black Guard & Unicorns present “Rod’s Remembrance” Beer Bust
SATURDAY, June 8, 4-9 p.m. Gay 90’s Men’s Room Bar
When Madison’s Hotel Washington complex burned to the ground it meant a significant loss for Madison’s GLBT community. And it meant the loss of Rod’s, the leather bar in the basement (the first bar in which I ever wore a harness—ah, those were the days!) Happily, the owners plan to rebuild. In the meantime, come support the Unicorns and bring your memories of Rod’s. ($5 cover; free beer, food, prizes.)
Friday, May 24, 1996
Friday, May 10, 1996
Getting Into Leather, Part 3
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #25, May 10, 1996)
Last issue I wrote about leather events as one way to meet leatherpeople. Continuing our discussion, here are some more.
Leather bars: Unlike most other major metro areas, we’ve only got one. All together now: “The Men’s Room Bar at the Gay 90’s!” (That was very good!) On Fridays and Saturdays it can be quite festive or quite claustrophobic, depending on how you look at it. (You may meet lots of people, but it won’t be very easy to carry on a conversation.) The rest of the week is more laid-back, especially Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday.
There are alternatives. Some people like Bondage A Go Go on Thursday nights at Ground Zero. You might also consider Town House Country in St. Paul—there’s quite a bit of overlap between the cowboy and leather communities.
Even though we have only one self-identified “leather bar” in town, it’s okay to wear leather to any of our local gay bars, and this brings up an important point: If you want to meet others who are into leather, wear yours. On any given night, you may be the only person at the Saloon or Rumours wearing leather. Then again, if you’re one of two people wearing leather that night, and the other person is someone you would like to meet, the fact that you’re the only two people in that establishment wearing leather gives you something with which to strike up a conversation.
Personal ads: You can place one or you can answer one. You’ll find leather-oriented ads from across the nation in magazines such as Drummer, Cuir, and The Leather Journal (to mention but a few). But, for some reason, out of all those ads you’ll only find one or two ads from Minnesota (and they’re often the same ad, month after month). The ads can make for titillating reading, however, and if you’re traveling they might be a way to hook up with someone in a destination city (but I’m not sure I’d recommend that for a leather beginner).
Closer to home, you’ll find non-leather personal ads seemingly everywhere (including Lavender Lifestyles, of course!) Now for the disclaimer: I have never placed an ad, and I’ve never answered one. (Yes, there are still a few things I haven’t done!) So about the only advice I can offer is this: Safe, Sane and Consensual applies just as much to personal ads as to anything else. Whether placing an ad or responding to one, use common sense when it comes to your personal safety. As Drummer Magazine states so succinctly: “If you respond to an ad and meet with the person who placed it, you do so at your own risk. Be aware that not everyone plays safe or respects your limits. EXERCISE ALL DUE CAUTION.”
Clubs: The Twin Cities is home to the Atons and Black Guard for men and the Knights of Leather and Minnesota Leather Den for women. Leather/SM clubs such as these started life as motorcycle clubs, but nowadays a motorcycle is not a membership requirement.
Joining a club has advantages for those newly into leather. When you join a club it can be like being adopted by a ready-made leather family. You won’t have to worry too much about meeting people—it will happen as part of the club meetings and activities. Be aware, however, that being a club member often entails certain financial and time commitments to the club and to the leather community at large.
My advice to leather newcomers who like the idea of joining a club: Take the time to check them out. Attend club events and meet some club members. Find out about membership requirements. If you express interest in a particular club you may be invited to attend a club meeting. All this will give you a better idea of which club (or clubs) to join.
Even if you’re not a club member, you can meet people at upcoming club events and runs such as the Knights of Leather Tournament (May 31-June 2; call or write to Knights of Leather, Minneapolis MN for more information) or the Atons Gopher XII, “Going Down on the Farm” (July 19-21; call or e-mail at ATONS@AOL.COM for more information). And you’ll also see a lot of leather being worn at the North Star Gay Rodeo (July 12-14; call for more information).
Attend any of these events and you’ll see an example of the wonderful things clubs give to the community; you’ll also see how much hard work (mixed with fun, we hope) is involved in putting on such an event.
Register now for Knights Tournament 8 to be held May 31-June 2. Featuring leather/SM workshops, demonstrations, fantasies, dungeon space, village square events and a medieval banquet in a wooded private camp. FFI: Knights of Leather, Minneapolis MN.
Last issue I wrote about leather events as one way to meet leatherpeople. Continuing our discussion, here are some more.
Leather bars: Unlike most other major metro areas, we’ve only got one. All together now: “The Men’s Room Bar at the Gay 90’s!” (That was very good!) On Fridays and Saturdays it can be quite festive or quite claustrophobic, depending on how you look at it. (You may meet lots of people, but it won’t be very easy to carry on a conversation.) The rest of the week is more laid-back, especially Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday.
There are alternatives. Some people like Bondage A Go Go on Thursday nights at Ground Zero. You might also consider Town House Country in St. Paul—there’s quite a bit of overlap between the cowboy and leather communities.
Even though we have only one self-identified “leather bar” in town, it’s okay to wear leather to any of our local gay bars, and this brings up an important point: If you want to meet others who are into leather, wear yours. On any given night, you may be the only person at the Saloon or Rumours wearing leather. Then again, if you’re one of two people wearing leather that night, and the other person is someone you would like to meet, the fact that you’re the only two people in that establishment wearing leather gives you something with which to strike up a conversation.
Personal ads: You can place one or you can answer one. You’ll find leather-oriented ads from across the nation in magazines such as Drummer, Cuir, and The Leather Journal (to mention but a few). But, for some reason, out of all those ads you’ll only find one or two ads from Minnesota (and they’re often the same ad, month after month). The ads can make for titillating reading, however, and if you’re traveling they might be a way to hook up with someone in a destination city (but I’m not sure I’d recommend that for a leather beginner).
Closer to home, you’ll find non-leather personal ads seemingly everywhere (including Lavender Lifestyles, of course!) Now for the disclaimer: I have never placed an ad, and I’ve never answered one. (Yes, there are still a few things I haven’t done!) So about the only advice I can offer is this: Safe, Sane and Consensual applies just as much to personal ads as to anything else. Whether placing an ad or responding to one, use common sense when it comes to your personal safety. As Drummer Magazine states so succinctly: “If you respond to an ad and meet with the person who placed it, you do so at your own risk. Be aware that not everyone plays safe or respects your limits. EXERCISE ALL DUE CAUTION.”
Clubs: The Twin Cities is home to the Atons and Black Guard for men and the Knights of Leather and Minnesota Leather Den for women. Leather/SM clubs such as these started life as motorcycle clubs, but nowadays a motorcycle is not a membership requirement.
Joining a club has advantages for those newly into leather. When you join a club it can be like being adopted by a ready-made leather family. You won’t have to worry too much about meeting people—it will happen as part of the club meetings and activities. Be aware, however, that being a club member often entails certain financial and time commitments to the club and to the leather community at large.
My advice to leather newcomers who like the idea of joining a club: Take the time to check them out. Attend club events and meet some club members. Find out about membership requirements. If you express interest in a particular club you may be invited to attend a club meeting. All this will give you a better idea of which club (or clubs) to join.
Even if you’re not a club member, you can meet people at upcoming club events and runs such as the Knights of Leather Tournament (May 31-June 2; call or write to Knights of Leather, Minneapolis MN for more information) or the Atons Gopher XII, “Going Down on the Farm” (July 19-21; call or e-mail at ATONS@AOL.COM for more information). And you’ll also see a lot of leather being worn at the North Star Gay Rodeo (July 12-14; call for more information).
Attend any of these events and you’ll see an example of the wonderful things clubs give to the community; you’ll also see how much hard work (mixed with fun, we hope) is involved in putting on such an event.
Register now for Knights Tournament 8 to be held May 31-June 2. Featuring leather/SM workshops, demonstrations, fantasies, dungeon space, village square events and a medieval banquet in a wooded private camp. FFI: Knights of Leather, Minneapolis MN.
Friday, April 26, 1996
Getting Into Leather, Part 2
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #24, April 26, 1996)
This two-part series just expanded into three parts. This issue’s focus will be on leather events—and we’ve got two mammoth ones coming up. So whether you’re a newcomer or an old hand, read on and get ready! (Next issue we’ll focus on other ways for newcomers to meet people in leather.)
“How do I join the leather scene? How do I meet other guys in leather?” I hear questions like these constantly—and always from other men, never from women. (Do they know something we guys don’t?) Anyway, to everyone who has written, phoned, or asked me in person: thank you for your interest. I hope you find the material in these columns helpful.
There was a time when people joined the leather community through a relatively formal system of apprenticeship, mentoring, and sponsoring. But the leather community has lost so many people to AIDS that the mentoring system was almost completely destroyed. There are still people out there who are willing to act as masters, daddies, mentors, trainers, etc. But for now, it’s up to you to find them.
It’s been said that getting into leather often represents a second “coming out.” I always thought the phrase “coming out” was shorthand for “coming out of the closet.” The closet was the place where we hid all the gay (or leather-related) feelings that society told us we should be ashamed of. When we came out of the closet, that meant we stopped being ashamed of being gay (or being attracted to leather).
I’ve recently been reading “Gay New York,” a fascinating gay history book by George Chauncey. It turns out the “closet” is a concept that came into being between 1930 and 1950; the term “coming out” predates it by quite a few years. In the 1920’s, and even before, there was no “closet” to come out of, and “coming out” had much more pleasant connotations; it meant being formally presented to gay society in much the same way as a debutante was formally presented to upper-crust society at a “coming out” ball.
My advice for those who want to get into the leather scene: make leather events and fundraisers your “coming out” events. They’re fun, they’re entertaining, they’re educational, and they’re perfect places to meet people. This weekend and the next will see two spectacular, not-to-be-missed leather events (details in the gray box). So put on that new item that you just bought and are dying to wear, lace your boots up high, and come out!
UPCOMING LEATHER EVENTS
Mr. Minnesota Leather IML Fundraiser
Sunday, April 28, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
Michael deLeon, Mr. Minnesota Leather 1996 and dancer with Ballet of the Dolls, is putting together a fundraiser unlike any other. The Dance Annex will be hosting many out-of-town dignitaries including two of my favorite leatherpeople, Bob Fifield of The Leather Journal (who will present a fantasy) and Kay Hallanger (International Ms. Leather 1991). Savage Aural Hotbed, the amazing band that makes music with circular saws and plate steel (among other things) will accompany a dance performance by deLeon and Stephanie Fellner. Other attractions: a dance performance by Les Femmes Cabaret; a drag show featuring reigning ISCIC empress Tiffany Cartier and friends; a Celebrity Bar Staff Auction; Rent-a-Slave; body piercing, leather/toys mart, boot black, food, tap beer and door prizes. Sounds like after this party we’ll need the whole week to recuperate before . . .
“Labyrinth of Leather”
Sunday, May 5, 5-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
Hosted by Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox and Leatherman of Minnesota Thomas Casey and featuring Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and other leather titleholders. Also featured: leather/levi/western clubs; S/M and bondage demonstrations; education and information areas; piercing by Body Arts. There will be displays by artists who “capture the essence of leather in portraits and craftsmanship.” A “Leather Swap or Shop Meet” will let you swap or trade your leather items with other attendees or make purchases from local leather vendors. Food and beer, lots of entertainment, great door prizes and two bonus events: a special auction of handcuffs and hand and leg irons from around the world (get your bid number early—merchandise now on display at The Sidewalk Shop), and at 8 pm the host titleholders and the Minnesota Leather Den present the 4th annual, biggest, barest, “Bare As You Dare” contest! (Please note: contestants must meet all requirements of state and local laws).
This two-part series just expanded into three parts. This issue’s focus will be on leather events—and we’ve got two mammoth ones coming up. So whether you’re a newcomer or an old hand, read on and get ready! (Next issue we’ll focus on other ways for newcomers to meet people in leather.)
“How do I join the leather scene? How do I meet other guys in leather?” I hear questions like these constantly—and always from other men, never from women. (Do they know something we guys don’t?) Anyway, to everyone who has written, phoned, or asked me in person: thank you for your interest. I hope you find the material in these columns helpful.
There was a time when people joined the leather community through a relatively formal system of apprenticeship, mentoring, and sponsoring. But the leather community has lost so many people to AIDS that the mentoring system was almost completely destroyed. There are still people out there who are willing to act as masters, daddies, mentors, trainers, etc. But for now, it’s up to you to find them.
It’s been said that getting into leather often represents a second “coming out.” I always thought the phrase “coming out” was shorthand for “coming out of the closet.” The closet was the place where we hid all the gay (or leather-related) feelings that society told us we should be ashamed of. When we came out of the closet, that meant we stopped being ashamed of being gay (or being attracted to leather).
I’ve recently been reading “Gay New York,” a fascinating gay history book by George Chauncey. It turns out the “closet” is a concept that came into being between 1930 and 1950; the term “coming out” predates it by quite a few years. In the 1920’s, and even before, there was no “closet” to come out of, and “coming out” had much more pleasant connotations; it meant being formally presented to gay society in much the same way as a debutante was formally presented to upper-crust society at a “coming out” ball.
My advice for those who want to get into the leather scene: make leather events and fundraisers your “coming out” events. They’re fun, they’re entertaining, they’re educational, and they’re perfect places to meet people. This weekend and the next will see two spectacular, not-to-be-missed leather events (details in the gray box). So put on that new item that you just bought and are dying to wear, lace your boots up high, and come out!
UPCOMING LEATHER EVENTS
Mr. Minnesota Leather IML Fundraiser
Sunday, April 28, 4-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
Michael deLeon, Mr. Minnesota Leather 1996 and dancer with Ballet of the Dolls, is putting together a fundraiser unlike any other. The Dance Annex will be hosting many out-of-town dignitaries including two of my favorite leatherpeople, Bob Fifield of The Leather Journal (who will present a fantasy) and Kay Hallanger (International Ms. Leather 1991). Savage Aural Hotbed, the amazing band that makes music with circular saws and plate steel (among other things) will accompany a dance performance by deLeon and Stephanie Fellner. Other attractions: a dance performance by Les Femmes Cabaret; a drag show featuring reigning ISCIC empress Tiffany Cartier and friends; a Celebrity Bar Staff Auction; Rent-a-Slave; body piercing, leather/toys mart, boot black, food, tap beer and door prizes. Sounds like after this party we’ll need the whole week to recuperate before . . .
“Labyrinth of Leather”
Sunday, May 5, 5-9 pm, Gay 90’s Dance Annex
Hosted by Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox and Leatherman of Minnesota Thomas Casey and featuring Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and other leather titleholders. Also featured: leather/levi/western clubs; S/M and bondage demonstrations; education and information areas; piercing by Body Arts. There will be displays by artists who “capture the essence of leather in portraits and craftsmanship.” A “Leather Swap or Shop Meet” will let you swap or trade your leather items with other attendees or make purchases from local leather vendors. Food and beer, lots of entertainment, great door prizes and two bonus events: a special auction of handcuffs and hand and leg irons from around the world (get your bid number early—merchandise now on display at The Sidewalk Shop), and at 8 pm the host titleholders and the Minnesota Leather Den present the 4th annual, biggest, barest, “Bare As You Dare” contest! (Please note: contestants must meet all requirements of state and local laws).
Friday, April 12, 1996
Getting Into Leather, Part 1
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #23, April 12, 1996)
This issue starts a two-part series I’ve been intending to write for quite some time. Many of you have made requests along these lines: “You really make the leather community sound like a great group of people—how do I get involved?” If that’s what you’re wondering, read on. This issue we’ll discuss leather and related paraphernalia. Then, when we have you properly outfitted, next issue we’ll discuss places and ways to wear it.
There’s an amazing assortment of leather and leather-related merchandise out there competing for your purchase. Leather is made into vests of all kinds, shirts, jackets, coats, jeans, chaps, shorts, jocks, hats, harnesses, boots, armbands, wristbands, belts, and the list goes on. Then there’s denim and latexwear and uniforms and western-wear.
I’ve heard of people who discover leather and immediately spend an enormous amount on a complete leather wardrobe. Let me suggest that you do differently. Go slowly; savor each piece as you acquire it. Start simply with a good vest and a good pair of boots, for instance. Wear them with a black t-shirt and blue or black jeans (which you probably already have) and you’ll be perfectly comfortable at almost any leather function you want to attend. As you become more acquainted with the leather lifestyle you’ll be able to determine what other items you want to own; you’ll probably also decide that certain items are not for you. You may discover you really enjoy uniforms, for instance, or you may decide that you don’t really want to own a pair of chaps because they’re too much bother to put on and take off.
What’s a “good” vest? Think “biker” and you’ll be on the right track. It should be rugged as opposed to dressy—black leather, not brown or any other color, and not suede. The back of the vest should be leather rather than fabric. For footwear, again think rugged as opposed to dressy, and again think black. Military-style boots, construction boots, cowboys boots, motorcycle boots, even hiking boots can work. Wingtips, even black ones, won’t quite cut it. Whatever you do, don’t wear white tennis shoes—nothing works faster to brand you as a “tourist,” or someone who doesn’t know the scene.
Where do you find all this wonderful stuff? The possibilities are endless. Local leather shops are a good place to start (that’s another way of saying “Support our advertisers”). Other than that, just be on the lookout for wonderful things and you’ll find they throw themselves at you and say “BUY ME!” At least that’s been my experience. I’ve made amazing finds everywhere from the streets of New York City to designer boutiques to the Minnesota State Fair! One other possibility: If you’re attending the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago you’ll want to check out the Leather Mart.
Another shopping tip: Especially when you’re new to this, it helps to go shopping with someone who’s more experienced in the scene. If you have a leather mentor, invite them along. (If not, you have a perfect excuse to find one.)
Where does one shop for items such as these?
The first piece of leather I bought was a black leather vest, and that’s a good place for most people to start. I’m up to three vests now, each one for a different purpose. Let’s see what else I’ve got in my leather closet: biker jacket; trench coat; pea coat; German cycle jacket that converts to a vest; body suit that I wore onstage in the ‘94 International Mr. Drummer competition; biker hat; leather jeans; gloves; half-harness; armbands; wristbands; the hand-in-bondage watch you always see me wearing . . .
This issue starts a two-part series I’ve been intending to write for quite some time. Many of you have made requests along these lines: “You really make the leather community sound like a great group of people—how do I get involved?” If that’s what you’re wondering, read on. This issue we’ll discuss leather and related paraphernalia. Then, when we have you properly outfitted, next issue we’ll discuss places and ways to wear it.
There’s an amazing assortment of leather and leather-related merchandise out there competing for your purchase. Leather is made into vests of all kinds, shirts, jackets, coats, jeans, chaps, shorts, jocks, hats, harnesses, boots, armbands, wristbands, belts, and the list goes on. Then there’s denim and latexwear and uniforms and western-wear.
I’ve heard of people who discover leather and immediately spend an enormous amount on a complete leather wardrobe. Let me suggest that you do differently. Go slowly; savor each piece as you acquire it. Start simply with a good vest and a good pair of boots, for instance. Wear them with a black t-shirt and blue or black jeans (which you probably already have) and you’ll be perfectly comfortable at almost any leather function you want to attend. As you become more acquainted with the leather lifestyle you’ll be able to determine what other items you want to own; you’ll probably also decide that certain items are not for you. You may discover you really enjoy uniforms, for instance, or you may decide that you don’t really want to own a pair of chaps because they’re too much bother to put on and take off.
What’s a “good” vest? Think “biker” and you’ll be on the right track. It should be rugged as opposed to dressy—black leather, not brown or any other color, and not suede. The back of the vest should be leather rather than fabric. For footwear, again think rugged as opposed to dressy, and again think black. Military-style boots, construction boots, cowboys boots, motorcycle boots, even hiking boots can work. Wingtips, even black ones, won’t quite cut it. Whatever you do, don’t wear white tennis shoes—nothing works faster to brand you as a “tourist,” or someone who doesn’t know the scene.
Where do you find all this wonderful stuff? The possibilities are endless. Local leather shops are a good place to start (that’s another way of saying “Support our advertisers”). Other than that, just be on the lookout for wonderful things and you’ll find they throw themselves at you and say “BUY ME!” At least that’s been my experience. I’ve made amazing finds everywhere from the streets of New York City to designer boutiques to the Minnesota State Fair! One other possibility: If you’re attending the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago you’ll want to check out the Leather Mart.
Another shopping tip: Especially when you’re new to this, it helps to go shopping with someone who’s more experienced in the scene. If you have a leather mentor, invite them along. (If not, you have a perfect excuse to find one.)
Where does one shop for items such as these?
The first piece of leather I bought was a black leather vest, and that’s a good place for most people to start. I’m up to three vests now, each one for a different purpose. Let’s see what else I’ve got in my leather closet: biker jacket; trench coat; pea coat; German cycle jacket that converts to a vest; body suit that I wore onstage in the ‘94 International Mr. Drummer competition; biker hat; leather jeans; gloves; half-harness; armbands; wristbands; the hand-in-bondage watch you always see me wearing . . .
Friday, March 29, 1996
Celebrating the Body Erotic
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #22, March 29, 1996)
In the March 1 edition of Lavendar Lifestyles (“Lifelines” column, page 12) Jim Lovestar wrote about the upcoming “Celebrating the Body Erotic” workshops for men (April 20-21) and women (May 17-19). My aim in this column is not to repeat what he said, but to add some of my own comments and to bring these workshops to the attention of the leather community.
What is leathersex all about? For me, leathersex at its best is radical sex, rebellious sex, revolutionary sex—at least when compared to the vanilla so-called “norm.” Leathersex is about taking ourselves to new psychic places and letting ourselves discover feelings and sensations we’ve never felt before. It’s about casting off restrictive ideas of what sex should and shouldn’t be, and giving ourselves the freedom to explore and find what works for us. It’s about replacing fear and shame with joy and celebration. It’s about Safe, Sane and Consensual. It’s about respecting ourselves and respecting others. It’s about taking what most of western society considers profane and sinful, and paradoxically using it to discover what is sacred and perfect and beautiful in each of us.
These are some of the ideals leathersex values and for which it strives. These are also some of the ideals around which “Celebrating the Body Erotic” revolves. That’s why I have a strong hunch that many people in the leather community will likely be open to, and ready for, the experience of “Celebrating the Body Erotic,” and why I want to strongly encourage leathermen and leatherwomen to consider participating in these workshops.
I did the “CBE” men’s weekend in April, 1994. At the time I knew I was having a “mountain-top” experience, but now that two years have gone by I can see how profoundly my life was changed and how I am still enjoying the benefits of that weekend.
I am convinced that if more people were acquainted with the principles taught at “Celebrating the Body Erotic” there would be less war, less anger, less disease, and less substance abuse. If the preceding sentence sounds like a wildly exaggerated claim I assure you I am absolutely serious.
If I’ve piqued your curiosity, you can find out more about “Celebrating the Body Erotic” by calling.
Darlette Knox, the current Ms. Minnesota Leather, announces a very special exhibition of interest to bondage aficionados. Now on display at The Sidewalk Shop (2nd floor, Gay 90’s) is a unique collection of bondage implements from all over the world, some dating back to the 1800’s. This hobby collection, the result of one person’s dedication and passion, must now be liquidated, so all the items are for sale. Stop by the Sidewalk Shop and take a look—this is definitely something you don’t get a chance to see every day!
Looks like we have a case of dueling contests here. The entertainment at last year’s IML was lukewarm at best, while the entertainment at last year’s Drummer contest was spectacular, and comic Mimi=Freed was one big reason why. Well, it looks like IML got the hint and has decided to up the ante, because this year’s featured entertainer is Judy Tenuta! My prediction: the lobby of the Congress Theater in Chicago will be empty while she’s performing, because no one will want to miss a word she has to say.
Even if you’re not doing IML this year, you can still have a Memorial Day Weekend leather experience. The Atons will be presenting a “Memorial Weekend Beer Bash” May 26th, 5 to 9 pm at the Gay 90’s.
Leather Calendar
Minnesota Leather Den Anniversary Party Raring, Daring, Flaring To Bare HAS BEEN POSTPONED. previously scheduled for Sunday, April 7; new date to be announced. But when it finally happens it will be fun!
MORE UPCOMING SPRING AND SUMMER EVENTS
Atons “Tax Time Beer Bash”
Sunday, April 14, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s
Atons Memorial Weekend Beer Bash
Sunday, May 26, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s
“Garage” Opening: Leather/Levi Extravaganza
Saturday, June 15, 9 p.m.-close
Main Club, 1813 N. 3rd St., Superior WI
Leather Community Service Awards
Sunday, June 16, 5-10 p.m., Gay 90’s
In the March 1 edition of Lavendar Lifestyles (“Lifelines” column, page 12) Jim Lovestar wrote about the upcoming “Celebrating the Body Erotic” workshops for men (April 20-21) and women (May 17-19). My aim in this column is not to repeat what he said, but to add some of my own comments and to bring these workshops to the attention of the leather community.
What is leathersex all about? For me, leathersex at its best is radical sex, rebellious sex, revolutionary sex—at least when compared to the vanilla so-called “norm.” Leathersex is about taking ourselves to new psychic places and letting ourselves discover feelings and sensations we’ve never felt before. It’s about casting off restrictive ideas of what sex should and shouldn’t be, and giving ourselves the freedom to explore and find what works for us. It’s about replacing fear and shame with joy and celebration. It’s about Safe, Sane and Consensual. It’s about respecting ourselves and respecting others. It’s about taking what most of western society considers profane and sinful, and paradoxically using it to discover what is sacred and perfect and beautiful in each of us.
These are some of the ideals leathersex values and for which it strives. These are also some of the ideals around which “Celebrating the Body Erotic” revolves. That’s why I have a strong hunch that many people in the leather community will likely be open to, and ready for, the experience of “Celebrating the Body Erotic,” and why I want to strongly encourage leathermen and leatherwomen to consider participating in these workshops.
I did the “CBE” men’s weekend in April, 1994. At the time I knew I was having a “mountain-top” experience, but now that two years have gone by I can see how profoundly my life was changed and how I am still enjoying the benefits of that weekend.
I am convinced that if more people were acquainted with the principles taught at “Celebrating the Body Erotic” there would be less war, less anger, less disease, and less substance abuse. If the preceding sentence sounds like a wildly exaggerated claim I assure you I am absolutely serious.
If I’ve piqued your curiosity, you can find out more about “Celebrating the Body Erotic” by calling.
Darlette Knox, the current Ms. Minnesota Leather, announces a very special exhibition of interest to bondage aficionados. Now on display at The Sidewalk Shop (2nd floor, Gay 90’s) is a unique collection of bondage implements from all over the world, some dating back to the 1800’s. This hobby collection, the result of one person’s dedication and passion, must now be liquidated, so all the items are for sale. Stop by the Sidewalk Shop and take a look—this is definitely something you don’t get a chance to see every day!
Looks like we have a case of dueling contests here. The entertainment at last year’s IML was lukewarm at best, while the entertainment at last year’s Drummer contest was spectacular, and comic Mimi=Freed was one big reason why. Well, it looks like IML got the hint and has decided to up the ante, because this year’s featured entertainer is Judy Tenuta! My prediction: the lobby of the Congress Theater in Chicago will be empty while she’s performing, because no one will want to miss a word she has to say.
Even if you’re not doing IML this year, you can still have a Memorial Day Weekend leather experience. The Atons will be presenting a “Memorial Weekend Beer Bash” May 26th, 5 to 9 pm at the Gay 90’s.
Leather Calendar
Minnesota Leather Den Anniversary Party Raring, Daring, Flaring To Bare HAS BEEN POSTPONED. previously scheduled for Sunday, April 7; new date to be announced. But when it finally happens it will be fun!
MORE UPCOMING SPRING AND SUMMER EVENTS
Atons “Tax Time Beer Bash”
Sunday, April 14, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s
Atons Memorial Weekend Beer Bash
Sunday, May 26, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s
“Garage” Opening: Leather/Levi Extravaganza
Saturday, June 15, 9 p.m.-close
Main Club, 1813 N. 3rd St., Superior WI
Leather Community Service Awards
Sunday, June 16, 5-10 p.m., Gay 90’s
Friday, March 15, 1996
Coming Attractions
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #21, March 15, 1996)
The recent “Thrash, Trash, Let It All Flash” fundraiser, hosted by Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox (assisted by her partner Nicky as well as Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and Mr. Minnesota Fantasy Dale Willman), was a memorable one for many reasons. Darlette succeeded in lining up quite a roster of live entertainment led by Bob Hastings and Lori Dow. Their over-the-top rendition of “I Got You Babe” absolutely brought down the house! The glamorous CC Russell, the only lip-sync act of the evening, appeared as Tina Turner and sang “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” Other entertainers included three S&M boys from Seren Productions and—drumroll, please—BIG MAMA of Gay 90’s coatcheck fame! In her first time on stage at a leather fundraiser, she took flogger in hand and let Miranda, who had evidently been a bad girl, feel the wages of sin. Truly a historic moment. (Beneficiaries of the fundraiser were Mr. Minnesota Leather’s travel fund, Robert Parker for the Minnesota AIDS Trek, and Ms. Minnesota Leather’s travel fund.)
At the fundraiser, one question seemed to be on many people’s lips: “When and where is IML (the International Mr. Leather Contest)?” If that’s your question, you’ve turned to the right page. Believe it or not, spring is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to get out the datebook and start planning for the “leather season,” which starts Memorial Day Weekend with the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago and ends in September with the International Mr. Drummer Contest and Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. In between, various people and groups have planned all kinds of interesting events for your entertainment.
The information that follows has been taken from various sources (including the calendar section of The Leather Journal) and should be reasonably accurate. However, things do change and errors have a way of creeping in. (The Leather Journal had the wrong dates for our own North Star Regional Rodeo, for example.) So if you’re interested in an event, avoid disappointment by confirming the details.
Remember, it pays to make your reservations early. At IML and Drummer, for instance, the best seats in the auditorium go to those who register first. And hotels have a nasty way of filling up long before you think they will. (See the entry for IML below, and remember the same thing happens for Drummer/Folsom in San Francisco.)
May 5: Ms. Minnesota Leather and Leatherman of Minnesota present the Labyrinth of Leather Beer Bust.
May 24-27: International Mr. Leather (IML) Contest, Chicago. Come see Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and Leatherman of Minnesota Thomas Casey as they take the stage! For information and registration forms call 1-800-545-6753. Host hotel is the Ramada Congress; call for room reservations. Ramada’s toll-free number is 1-800-2RAMADA, but they won’t be able to help you with IML room reservations. And good luck: at this writing the hotel is 95% booked!
May 31-June 2: Knights of Leather present Knights Tournament 8. Info: Knights of Leather, Minneapolis, MN.
June 2: Minnesota Leather Den presents Ludicrous Leather Prom Night—The Crowning of Leather Dominus and Domineer
June 15: International Master and Slave Contest, Atlanta
June 22-23: Twin Cities Festival of Pride ’96
June 23: Minnesota Leather Pride
July 12-14: North Star Gay Rodeo Association presents the North Star Regional Rodeo, St. Paul. Info: 555-0069. (Gotta love that new phone number, eh?)
July 14: Mr. Minnesota Fantasy Contest
July 18-21: International Ms. Leather (IMsL) Contest in Philadelphia, the “city of brotherly (and sisterly?) love.” Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox will be competing for the title. Call 1-800-THE-BELL for room reservations, 1-800-357-4190 (Atlas Travel) for air or train reservations.
July 19-21: The ATONS present Gopher XII Run, “Going Down on the Farm.” (Thank you ATONS and thank you NSGRA for having the rodeo and the run on different weekends this year!) Info: e-mail at ATONS@AOL.COM. Or check out their new web site (!) on the internet at http//www.starbase21.com/ATONS.
August 2-4: Great Lakes Drummer Weekend (tentative)
August 16-18: Fantasy Weekend and International Mr. Fantasy Contest, Omaha
September 5-11: Chicago Hellfire Club presents Inferno XXV, Chicago
September 23-29: International Leather Pride Week, San Francisco
September 28: International Mr. Drummer Contest, San Francisco
September 29: Folsom Street Fair, San Francisco
There! That should be enough to keep you out of (or maybe into?) mischief for a while!
The recent “Thrash, Trash, Let It All Flash” fundraiser, hosted by Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox (assisted by her partner Nicky as well as Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and Mr. Minnesota Fantasy Dale Willman), was a memorable one for many reasons. Darlette succeeded in lining up quite a roster of live entertainment led by Bob Hastings and Lori Dow. Their over-the-top rendition of “I Got You Babe” absolutely brought down the house! The glamorous CC Russell, the only lip-sync act of the evening, appeared as Tina Turner and sang “We Don’t Need Another Hero.” Other entertainers included three S&M boys from Seren Productions and—drumroll, please—BIG MAMA of Gay 90’s coatcheck fame! In her first time on stage at a leather fundraiser, she took flogger in hand and let Miranda, who had evidently been a bad girl, feel the wages of sin. Truly a historic moment. (Beneficiaries of the fundraiser were Mr. Minnesota Leather’s travel fund, Robert Parker for the Minnesota AIDS Trek, and Ms. Minnesota Leather’s travel fund.)
At the fundraiser, one question seemed to be on many people’s lips: “When and where is IML (the International Mr. Leather Contest)?” If that’s your question, you’ve turned to the right page. Believe it or not, spring is just around the corner, and that means it’s time to get out the datebook and start planning for the “leather season,” which starts Memorial Day Weekend with the International Mr. Leather Contest in Chicago and ends in September with the International Mr. Drummer Contest and Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. In between, various people and groups have planned all kinds of interesting events for your entertainment.
The information that follows has been taken from various sources (including the calendar section of The Leather Journal) and should be reasonably accurate. However, things do change and errors have a way of creeping in. (The Leather Journal had the wrong dates for our own North Star Regional Rodeo, for example.) So if you’re interested in an event, avoid disappointment by confirming the details.
Remember, it pays to make your reservations early. At IML and Drummer, for instance, the best seats in the auditorium go to those who register first. And hotels have a nasty way of filling up long before you think they will. (See the entry for IML below, and remember the same thing happens for Drummer/Folsom in San Francisco.)
May 5: Ms. Minnesota Leather and Leatherman of Minnesota present the Labyrinth of Leather Beer Bust.
May 24-27: International Mr. Leather (IML) Contest, Chicago. Come see Mr. Minnesota Leather Michael deLeon and Leatherman of Minnesota Thomas Casey as they take the stage! For information and registration forms call 1-800-545-6753. Host hotel is the Ramada Congress; call for room reservations. Ramada’s toll-free number is 1-800-2RAMADA, but they won’t be able to help you with IML room reservations. And good luck: at this writing the hotel is 95% booked!
May 31-June 2: Knights of Leather present Knights Tournament 8. Info: Knights of Leather, Minneapolis, MN.
June 2: Minnesota Leather Den presents Ludicrous Leather Prom Night—The Crowning of Leather Dominus and Domineer
June 15: International Master and Slave Contest, Atlanta
June 22-23: Twin Cities Festival of Pride ’96
June 23: Minnesota Leather Pride
July 12-14: North Star Gay Rodeo Association presents the North Star Regional Rodeo, St. Paul. Info: 555-0069. (Gotta love that new phone number, eh?)
July 14: Mr. Minnesota Fantasy Contest
July 18-21: International Ms. Leather (IMsL) Contest in Philadelphia, the “city of brotherly (and sisterly?) love.” Ms. Minnesota Leather Darlette Knox will be competing for the title. Call 1-800-THE-BELL for room reservations, 1-800-357-4190 (Atlas Travel) for air or train reservations.
July 19-21: The ATONS present Gopher XII Run, “Going Down on the Farm.” (Thank you ATONS and thank you NSGRA for having the rodeo and the run on different weekends this year!) Info: e-mail at ATONS@AOL.COM. Or check out their new web site (!) on the internet at http//www.starbase21.com/ATONS.
August 2-4: Great Lakes Drummer Weekend (tentative)
August 16-18: Fantasy Weekend and International Mr. Fantasy Contest, Omaha
September 5-11: Chicago Hellfire Club presents Inferno XXV, Chicago
September 23-29: International Leather Pride Week, San Francisco
September 28: International Mr. Drummer Contest, San Francisco
September 29: Folsom Street Fair, San Francisco
There! That should be enough to keep you out of (or maybe into?) mischief for a while!
Friday, March 1, 1996
Leather and Domestic Violence (cont’d)
(Published in Lavender Lifestyles Magazine, Issue #20, March 1, 1996)
Continuing our discussion from the last column: So who exactly are these perpetrators of domestic violence? Who are their victims? You can’t tell by looking at them. All abusers are not overbearing ogres; all victims are not spineless wimps. Abusers often are able to function normally in social situations, and can even be quite charming. They manage to hide their abusive tendencies from the rest of the world, reserving them exclusively for their victim(s). Because abuse victims fear embarassment (and retaliation from their abuser) if anyone else discovers they are being abused, they may present a calm, confident face to the rest of the world that belies the hell in which they’re living.
Beneath the labels and the stereotypes, both abusers and victims are still people—people with a problem that needs to be dealt with. People who never thought they would resort to hitting someone they love, or who never thought they would stand for such treatment. People who may have thought they were immune to such things, and one day realize they’re in the middle of an out-of-control situation.
The Gay and Lesbian Community Action Council (GLCAC) provides direct services to both abusers and victims, such as legal advocacy and crisis intervention (including child protection and safe housing). They’re also a treasure trove of counseling referrals. There is a 24-hour domestic violence hotline (or call the GLCAC Helpline, noon to midnight). Susan Gibel is the domestic violence program coordinator.
GLCAC worked extensively with the National Leather Association to put together a pamphlet called “Domestic Violence in the S/M Community.” If you are a member of the leather-S/M community and think you may be involved in an abusive situation, this pamphlet is required reading. Call GLCAC and ask for a copy now.
Lesbian victims of domestic abuse can find counseling resources at Casa de Esperanza or Chrysalis. Counseling for lesbian batterers is available through the Domestic Abuse Project.
A group for gay male victims and survivors of domestic abuse meets every Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. at Community University Health Center (intersection of Franklin and Bloomington Avenues in Minneapolis). Chuck Loban (627-6885) is the group facilitator. This group is for gay men who are currently being abused and are wondering what to do about it. It’s also for gay men who are still haunted by the “ghosts” of a past abusive relationship; this group may be able to help lay those ghosts to rest.
Counseling options for gay male abusers include Affirmation Place (only if domestic abuse is accompanied by chemical abuse) and the Domestic Abuse Project. Individual therapy is also an option.
One kind of counseling that is definitely not a good idea is couples counseling; in situations where abuse is present it is almost always counterproductive. Counseling only helps when counselor and clients deal with the truth. When their abuser is sitting right there in the counseling session the victim can’t be truthful about the abuse they are enduring, for fear of retaliation from their abuser after the session is over.
I’m going to recommend two books for further reading on this subject, in addition to the pamphlet mentioned above. “Men Who Beat The Men Who Love Them,” by Patrick Letellier and David Island, was the book that finally broke down my denial and my defenses and convinced me I had to get away from my abuser. I can’t recommend it highly enough. For women, Susan Gibel recommends “Naming the Violence—Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering,” edited by Kerry Lobel.
Upcoming Leather Events
Ms. Minnesota Leather and Leatherman of Minnesota invite you to a
Spring Sleaze Beer Bust
Sunday, March 3, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Men’s Room Bar
Everyone is welcome. Featuring “Trash & Thrash, Let It All Flash” Sleazewear Contest (wear your trashiest jeans—the ones with rips in all the right places!) Door prizes, live entertainment, a surprise special guest, food and beer. $5.00 at the door. “Break the winter freeze with a Hot Spring Sleaze” 1996.
Atons Casino Run (Grand Casino, Hinckley)
Saturday, March 16, 1:00 p.m. (register by Monday, March 11)
If you’ve always wanted to wear leather/levi/uniform attire to a casino, now’s your chance. If you’re a gambler, you could WIN BIG! Or you could just hang out in the Atons’ hospitality suite (and maybe WIN BIG in a different way). $10 prepaid, $15 bus-side. For complete details and a registration form call or e-mail AtonsMpls@aol.com.
Continuing our discussion from the last column: So who exactly are these perpetrators of domestic violence? Who are their victims? You can’t tell by looking at them. All abusers are not overbearing ogres; all victims are not spineless wimps. Abusers often are able to function normally in social situations, and can even be quite charming. They manage to hide their abusive tendencies from the rest of the world, reserving them exclusively for their victim(s). Because abuse victims fear embarassment (and retaliation from their abuser) if anyone else discovers they are being abused, they may present a calm, confident face to the rest of the world that belies the hell in which they’re living.
Beneath the labels and the stereotypes, both abusers and victims are still people—people with a problem that needs to be dealt with. People who never thought they would resort to hitting someone they love, or who never thought they would stand for such treatment. People who may have thought they were immune to such things, and one day realize they’re in the middle of an out-of-control situation.
The Gay and Lesbian Community Action Council (GLCAC) provides direct services to both abusers and victims, such as legal advocacy and crisis intervention (including child protection and safe housing). They’re also a treasure trove of counseling referrals. There is a 24-hour domestic violence hotline (or call the GLCAC Helpline, noon to midnight). Susan Gibel is the domestic violence program coordinator.
GLCAC worked extensively with the National Leather Association to put together a pamphlet called “Domestic Violence in the S/M Community.” If you are a member of the leather-S/M community and think you may be involved in an abusive situation, this pamphlet is required reading. Call GLCAC and ask for a copy now.
Lesbian victims of domestic abuse can find counseling resources at Casa de Esperanza or Chrysalis. Counseling for lesbian batterers is available through the Domestic Abuse Project.
A group for gay male victims and survivors of domestic abuse meets every Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. at Community University Health Center (intersection of Franklin and Bloomington Avenues in Minneapolis). Chuck Loban (627-6885) is the group facilitator. This group is for gay men who are currently being abused and are wondering what to do about it. It’s also for gay men who are still haunted by the “ghosts” of a past abusive relationship; this group may be able to help lay those ghosts to rest.
Counseling options for gay male abusers include Affirmation Place (only if domestic abuse is accompanied by chemical abuse) and the Domestic Abuse Project. Individual therapy is also an option.
One kind of counseling that is definitely not a good idea is couples counseling; in situations where abuse is present it is almost always counterproductive. Counseling only helps when counselor and clients deal with the truth. When their abuser is sitting right there in the counseling session the victim can’t be truthful about the abuse they are enduring, for fear of retaliation from their abuser after the session is over.
I’m going to recommend two books for further reading on this subject, in addition to the pamphlet mentioned above. “Men Who Beat The Men Who Love Them,” by Patrick Letellier and David Island, was the book that finally broke down my denial and my defenses and convinced me I had to get away from my abuser. I can’t recommend it highly enough. For women, Susan Gibel recommends “Naming the Violence—Speaking Out About Lesbian Battering,” edited by Kerry Lobel.
Upcoming Leather Events
Ms. Minnesota Leather and Leatherman of Minnesota invite you to a
Spring Sleaze Beer Bust
Sunday, March 3, 5-9 p.m., Gay 90’s Men’s Room Bar
Everyone is welcome. Featuring “Trash & Thrash, Let It All Flash” Sleazewear Contest (wear your trashiest jeans—the ones with rips in all the right places!) Door prizes, live entertainment, a surprise special guest, food and beer. $5.00 at the door. “Break the winter freeze with a Hot Spring Sleaze” 1996.
Atons Casino Run (Grand Casino, Hinckley)
Saturday, March 16, 1:00 p.m. (register by Monday, March 11)
If you’ve always wanted to wear leather/levi/uniform attire to a casino, now’s your chance. If you’re a gambler, you could WIN BIG! Or you could just hang out in the Atons’ hospitality suite (and maybe WIN BIG in a different way). $10 prepaid, $15 bus-side. For complete details and a registration form call or e-mail AtonsMpls@aol.com.
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