Christianity and Sexuality: It’s Not 1970 Anymore

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #374, September 25, 2009)

This summer several branches of Christianity have been trying to determine policy concerning gay and lesbian people, either as church members wishing to have their unions blessed or as church members in partnered same-gender relationships wishing to serve as clergy. But I think there’s a flaw in how the issue is being addressed.

Episcopalians, Lutherans, Moravians, and other denominations seem to be approaching this issue from a binary perspective. There are the gays and lesbians over there, and there’s everyone else over here. What do we, the everyone else, do with them, the gays and lesbians?

I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but that’s so quaint. It’s so 1970. That was the “gay liberation” political mindset in the immediate aftermath of Stonewall.

That mindset, that 1970-style conception of the issue, no longer works.

An example: this column recently featured an interview with Buck Angel, a transsexual porn star. Buck was born female but always felt he was a man. After years of substance abuse and three suicide attempts, Buck got sober and got a counselor who recognized that Buck was a female-to-male transsexual. With the help of testosterone and years at the gym, Buck is very much the man he knows he was born to be.

If church governing bodies can’t agree on how to treat garden-variety gays and lesbians, what would they do when faced with someone like Buck Angel? What would they have said to him when he was a self-destructive teenager in a body of the wrong gender? What would they say to him now?

By the 1990s the gay and lesbian community had expanded its self-concept to GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender). And then to the mix can be added the leather/BDSM/fetish community with all its leather-family relationships, including Daddy/boy, Master/slave, Dominant/submissive, and so on.

What emerges is not an issue that can be addressed in binary terms of straight/gay or even in terms of a linear scale like Dr. Kinsey’s. I doubt it could even be expressed with x, y and z coordinates where the z coordinate leaps off the page.

Human sexuality truly is a rainbow with millions of possible hues and shadings. It’s not an issue that can be reduced to x versus y, and all attempts to reduce it to x versus y will lead nowhere.

If people’s horizons can be widened, however, perhaps our human sexual diversity will cease to be viewed as a problem, and instead will be seen as a rich and wonderful asset. Then people, and churches, can begin to deal effectively with things as they are today, rather than as they were in 1970.

The Leather Life Interview/Andy Mangels: Leather & Sci-Fi

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #373, September 11, 2009)

Andy Mangels, a long-time leather activist, gay activist, and science-fiction writer and producer, will be one of the featured guests at Gaylaxicon 2009, a GLBT science-fiction convention, Oct. 9-11 at the Doubletree Hotel Minneapolis-Park Place.

You are a very busy, multitalented guy.

At the moment I’m working on a book, two magazine articles, and I’ve been working as a bartender at the local leather bar. It’s a way to keep my mind fresh and not get burnt out on any one thing.

Do you try to tie all your different projects together, or do you keep them separate?

There’s an incredible amount of crossover between the world of the fantastic, i.e. science fiction, fantasy and horror, and the world of fetish. People in the fetish world use their imagination in a way that enhances their sex life and their social life, whereas people who are fans of science fiction, fantasy or horror use their imagination to enhance their intellectual life. So when you get somebody who crosses over from one area to the other, they tend to be very interesting people.

What’s the attraction of leather for you?

It’s often said that our largest sex organ is our brain. In the science fiction field, I’m exercising my brain all the time in a way that makes me enjoy people with fantastic names, and interesting costumes, often who are battling each other or have feuds or are working for greater peace in the galaxy. There’s good and evil, there are all the same tropes that any kind of fiction, or even history, has. It’s just that they’re dressed up and put into a more exciting realm, whether that realm is a superhero setting or an outer-space galaxy or a world of fantasy—

Or a bunch of Tom of Finland guys.

Yeah. The leather realm is not far off from that. I can certainly say that in the leather community there are lots of fantastic costumes, and sometimes people battling each other. There’s a lot of political activism, so there are people who fight for the greater good.

What will you be doing at Gaylaxicon?

I expect I will be doing some panel presentations, perhaps a reading, autograph sessions. I’ll be available to meet and talk with people, and in the evenings hopefully I’ll get to go out and see some of the area’s night life, and leathermen and leatherwomen, and get to mix and mingle as much as I can.

(For Gaylaxicon 2009 information and online registration, visit <www.gaylaxicon2009.org>. And check out Mangels’ site at <www.andymangels.com>.)

PHOTO: Andy Mangels

The Leather Life Interview/Buck Angel, “The Man with a Pussy”

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #372, August 28, 2009)

Pioneering transsexual man and award-winning porn star Buck Angel, who bills himself as “The Man with a Pussy,” was recently brought to Minneapolis by adult toy boutique The Smitten Kitten as part of the store’s sixth birthday celebration.

You’re controversial. A lot of people have problems with what you do. Some people say porn is violence against women. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, obviously. By the way, I’ve also won a feminist porn award for my work. I think what I do empowers women as well as men, as well as everyone who’s never fit into a box.

You have a wife. Yes, I have a wife. You’re legally married? I’m legally a man. I had my birth certificate changed. If it’s just a matter of changing a birth certificate, why can’t two men or two women . . . Thank you! I get so pissed off! I have a vagina. My wife has a vagina. When I went to get married they didn’t ask me to drop my pants. I would like to do a huge campaign showing that I’m married, to a woman, legally in the United States of America. How is it possible that I’m married to a woman, and you’re not letting any of these people [same-sex couples] get married because you’re basing it on what’s between their legs?

How long do you see yourself continuing to do porn? I see myself doing porn, honestly, forever. But I don’t see myself in front of the camera after another couple of years. I’m looking to bring other guys into my production company and produce more porn with transsexual men.

Do you have other projects in the works? A book, and I’m trying to put together a reality TV show. Maybe people are ready for me, maybe not. And I’m working on an iPhone app!

Do you pack [i.e., wear a prosthetic phallus]? No way! Why would I pack? I’m “the man with a pussy.” I’m super proud of my pussy, so there’s no reason for me to pack. Though it’s okay for other guys to pack, it’s not an issue for me. Other transmen have told me they pack because of body geometry—a woman’s center of gravity is higher, and a man’s is lower. I’ve never heard of that. That’s interesting! Because my male center of gravity is up here in my head, in my brain. That’s my whole point of what I’m trying to get across to the world—it has nothing to do with what’s between your legs, it has everything to do with what’s in your head.

PHOTO: Buck Angel

IML says Bye Bye Barebacking

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #371, August 13, 2009)

In his speech at this year’s International Mr. Leather (IML) contest and show, executive producer Chuck Renslow pointed to the rise in new AIDS infections (in the United States alone, someone becomes infected with HIV every 9-1/2 minutes) and decried the increasing popularity of barebacking (unprotected anal sex, which has long been known to be a primary method of spreading HIV infection).

It was an effective and affecting speech, but along with the applause came some puzzlement—because this year’s IML leather market, as in years past, was full of vendors promoting porn that showcased and glorified barebacking.

Renslow and the IML organization now have done the right thing, followed through and, quite literally, put their money where their mouth is. In a letter to vendors, IML recently announced that the promoting of bareback porn will not be allowed at future IML leather markets.

This announcement has set off a firestorm of discussion. Is this censorship? (No.) Will it drive barebacking underground, thereby making it more attractive because it’s forbidden? (I hope not.) Who is Renslow, anyway, to make this kind of pronouncement? (Continue reading.)

Renslow is a community leader who is saying what needs to be said. Barebacking is dangerous. It’s like riding a motorcycle (or a bicycle) without a helmet or driving a car without seatbelts—you may be okay for awhile, but then something happens without warning that’s serious and possibly lethal because proper protective measures weren’t used.

The situation with barebacking is the same as with smoking, obesity, drug abuse and other public-health problems. People must be encouraged to make good choices that are ultimately life-affirming and life-enhancing, as opposed to bad choices that might feel good or exciting in the short run but that ultimately destroy and degrade life. Role models matter here—showing hot men having hot sex while using condoms sends one kind of message (condoms are a part of hot, healthy sex). Showing hot men having sex without condoms sends another, more dangerous message (condoms aren’t necessary—or worse, sex is hotter without protection).

I, like many other people, have been saying for years that barebacking, except for seroconcordant, monogamous couples, is unsafe, insane, and a slow kind of suicide. Yet barebacking has continued. Maybe, when someone of Renslow’s stature takes this kind of stand, more people will listen and the message will finally get through to many of them.

This is exactly what community leaders ought to be doing, and I applaud Renslow and IML for having the courage and the willingness to take such a public stand, even when it could seriously and negatively impact the IML organization’s finances. This is what leadership looks like, folks.

A Masseur Tells All

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #370, July 31, 2009)

Do You Work in the Nude? Confessions of a Masseur & Bodyworker by R.D. Cain; published by Third Millennium Publishing, Tempe, AZ (<3mpub.com>)

Massage and bodywork can be, you should pardon the pun, touchy subjects. Considering the hang-ups, expectations and fantasies many people in our society have about touch and nudity, communication between massage therapist and client (or prospective client) can be fraught with mixed messages, subliminal contexts and speaking in code that may or may not be understood by the other party.

Over the years I have read many books on massage, but until now I’ve never encountered one that approaches the topic from the angle taken by author R.D. Cain. In Do You Work in the Nude? Confessions of a Masseur & Bodyworker, Cain discusses his profession in a charming, disarmingly honest and straightforward manner that tries to cut through uneasiness, embarrassment and taboos.

Cain has been a massage and bodywork therapist since 1991. With that many years experience he has built up a supply of entertaining stories and practical advice that will be interesting to anyone who either does massage/bodywork professionally, or who enjoys the services of someone who does.

This is a fun, breezy confection of a book. Cain covers many facets of the subject of massage and bodywork starting, as all good writers do, with a definition of terms. He then describes how he got into the business and how he has developed his practice over the years. He discusses the many different schools of massage and bodywork (according to the author, over 80 at last count).

Cain also shares advice and philosophy on advertising and running a massage business. And, as a way of illustrating massage and bodywork etiquette, he describes his favorite (and least favorite) client types. He ends the book with a few quotes from notable people on the subject of massage. Adding to the fun are witty, and sometimes snarky, illustrations by Revo Yanson and Ethan Young.

If you are a massage therapist or bodyworker, you will enjoy reading a compatriot’s thoughts. If you are considering becoming a massage therapist or bodyworker, this book offers pointers on what to do, as well as some warnings about pitfalls along the way.

If, on the other hand, you are a client looking for a massage or bodywork professional, this book will tell you what (and what not) to do, and what questions to ask (and not ask). Working with a massage professional is like any other professional relationship: you’ll get better results if you act appropriately.

And if you already have a favorite massage professional, buy them a copy. It will make their day.

Pride, 40 Years After Stonewall

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #369, July 17, 2009)

I’m writing this during the afterglow of both the 2009 Minnesota Leather Pride celebration and the 2009 Twin Cities GLBT Pride Festival. This year marked the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising that was the beginning of the modern gay-liberation movement, and it was the 37th Pride Festival in Minneapolis. In 1972, the Twin Cities’ first “Pride Festival” consisted of approximately 50 people walking down the Nicollet Mall with handmade signs and then hanging out in Loring Park with a cooler of sodas.

Thirty-seven years later, the Twin Cities Pride Festival is the third-largest pride celebration in the country. And, interestingly, this year’s festival didn’t seem to be attended only by GLBT folks. Everywhere I went this year I saw more mixed-gender groups, and I especially noticed more male-female couples. They might have been just friends, but their body language—or their wedding rings—said “couple.”

If all these people were heterosexual, what were they doing at a GLBT Pride celebration? They were being supportive and accepting, that’s what. Maybe they were there with gay friends. Maybe they heard the radio ads for the Festival on AM950. Maybe they just know we throw a good party and came to check it out. Whatever—the point is, they were there, enjoying a beautiful day in the park with us. And they didn’t seem either threatened or threatening.

But, if all these non-GLBT people are here, is it still GLBT Pride? Are we losing our turf? Are we being corporatized, assimilated and co-opted? What would the pioneers at the first Gay Pride gathering in Loring Park have thought of this? Did they know in 1972 that this would be the scene 37 years later? Is this what they were fighting for?

Both the protesters at Stonewall in 1969 and the pioneers in Loring Park in 1972 were fighting for the right to be themselves—to no longer have to hide parts of themselves from a hostile world. It’s 2009, and we’re not there yet, but we’ve made major strides. At least some non-GLBT people, who seemed a threat in 1972, have become our friends and allies who celebrate with us and don’t ask us to hide. How many years have we, as a community, been trying to make this happen?

And just in time, too. Another March on Washington, demanding “FULL equality NOW!”, is being planned for National Coming-Out Day on Oct. 11, 2009. The last time the GLBT community marched on Washington was in 2000. Will it be said of the 2009 march that there were more allies present than in 2000?

I hope so. We haven’t reached the full-equality stage yet, but the more allies we have working alongside us, the sooner we’ll get there.

The Leather Agenda 2009

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #368, July 3, 2009)

Contestant Speeches at International Mr. Leather

Every year at the International Mr. Leather contest, each of the top 20 semifinalists presents a 90-second speech on a topic of their choosing. The topics of these speeches can be viewed as a statement of the leather community’s current agenda.

This year’s topics included activism, safe sex and HIV, and uniting Old Guard/New Guard and other factions of the leather/BDSM/fetish community. Several contestants spoke about being proud and visible. Donal Heath (Mr. Eagle London 2008/2009) quoted a line from Star Trek character Captain Jean-Luc Picard: “If we are to be damned, let us be damned for who we really are.”

Appropriate for an international contest, Ken Hearst (Mr. Los Angeles Leather 2009) called out to “our brothers and sisters” in Egypt, Iran, Russia, and other places where sexual freedom and diversity are not celebrated: ”Their day of sexual freedom is coming, and they are not alone in this journey.”

Mike Lunter (Mr. Missouri Leather 2009) spoke of his own aging process and encouraged the crowd to “celebrate every age.” Brendon McGovern (Mr. Leather Ottawa 2009), one of this year’s younger contestants who went on to be named first runner-up, thanked those who “have been fighting for years, for decades, for the rights of our community. And I want you to teach me and others how we can be better fighters” for those rights.

But the most talked-about issue this year was the U.S. military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. Brandon Clark (Mr. San Francisco Leather 2009), whose military career was affected by the policy, said that since the policy’s implementation “over 12,000 gays and lesbians have been discharged, making it the only law in the United States that mandates firing based solely on sexual orientation.” Ammar Houssamo (Mr. Chicago Leather 2009), who served in the army in his native Syria, is now partnered with a man who was discharged from the U.S. Army for being gay. Rick Russell (Mr. Bolt Leather 2009), a 20-year military man, ended his speech by saying, “President Barack Obama, we must, today, repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

Jeffrey Payne (Mr. Texas Leather 2009), who became the new International Mr. Leather, told how important leather-community support had been as he survived Hurricane Katrina four years ago; as he discovered he was HIV-positive one year ago; and, three weeks before the IML contest, as he was told that his ability to hear the spoken word would cease to exist in a few years. “This news has only reaffirmed my understanding of our leather culture—because we do not listen to our journeys with our ears. We listen to our journey with our hearts, and I will always be able to hear you.”