(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #438, March 2, 2012)
A monthly “Leather/Gear Night” has been part of the Twin Cities leather scene for several years now. Promoted on Facebook by several younger leathermen, the event has been drawing big (and mostly younger) crowds. I decided to check it out.
The evening starts at 9:00 p.m. but doesn’t really get going until 10:15. Since the event is about leather and “gear,” I start to keep an eye out for what constitutes “gear” among this crowd. I see a few wrestling singlets. A uniform shirt. A kilt. Latex. Neoprene. Spandex. A black jock waistband peeking above low-cut jeans. Cadet cap. Muir cap. A leather Civil War cap that turns out to have a built-in blindfold.
Although the crowd is predominantly younger, there also are some older—excuse me, I meant to say more mature—men (including your humble columnist). Standing at the bar is someone I used to see when I first came out. We’re both still around, all these years later.
Lumberjack shirt. Leather armband. Mirrored aviator sunglasses. (Is there anyone who doesn’t look good in mirrored aviator sunglasses?)
Two guys at the edge of the crowd are making out. Someone sees I’m taking notes and asks, “Got any good recipes in there?” Very funny. For your information, sir, I haven’t heard a single recipe exchanged this evening. Yet.
Chain collar with lock and leash. Leather puppy paws. Blue jeans. Black jeans.
One of the bartenders estimates there are 100 people in the bar. It seems like more. I see people checking their cell phones—these guys are connected and tech-savvy, and many of them have really interesting wallpaper on the screens of their phones.
Leather harness. Chain suspenders. Tattoos. Mechanic’s shirt with patches. A porn star. A female—one of two I see this evening.
House music is pounding on the sound system and the lights on the dance floor are pulsing. Nobody’s dancing.
At midnight I think it’s starting to clear out, but am told people are just going upstairs to smoke. There’s a gentleman in contemporary sport-bike gear next to a gentleman in classic black biker leathers—a nice picture, and a perfect summation of the evening.
I hadn’t known what to expect tonight. I was afraid it might all be different, but what drew me to the leather scene years ago is still here. A companion says, “A lot of it has to do with the energy. The energy is good tonight.” I’m happy to see that, judging by this crowd, leather’s culture and legacy are in good hands.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
A Letter to EricJames Borges
(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #436, February 3, 2012)
Dear EricJames,
I didn’t know you, but I wish I would have been able to. I wish I could have given you hope by telling you what we have in common, how things worked out for me, how things could work out for you too.
You were a nineteen-year-old filmmaker. You were an intern with The Trevor Project, the nationally known GLBTQ youth suicide prevention hotline. On December 10, 2011, you posted an “It Gets Better” video in which you told a heartbreaking tale of being raised in an “extremist Christian” household. You spoke of being bullied from kindergarten through high school as well as at home. You told how your mother had performed an exorcism in an attempt to “cure” you.
A month later, you killed yourself.
Hearing your story brought me up short, because I, too, have been the subject of an exorcism. When I was nineteen, my mother discovered I was gay. She started fasting and praying that I would be cured. One evening she and her Christian fundamentalist friends held an exorcism in absentia in her living room to cast the demon of homosexuality out of me. (The exorcism was unsuccessful.)
My mother started writing a book which she thought would be about how her son had been prayed straight. But she later wrote: “As I watched him living his life, I was the one who began to change my ideas.” As it turned out, her book was subtitled “A mother struggles to accept her gay son and discovers herself.” That book, by Mary Borhek, was My Son Eric, and for many years she spoke out as an activist for GLBT rights.(Since my mother wanted to use pseudonyms in the book, I chose “Eric” for mine. So we also share a first name, sort of.)
I was very lucky—I was blessed with other supportive people who helped me deal with my mother’s initial reaction to my gayness. But as an intern at The Trevor Project, you certainly had supportive people around you too. Tragically, their support and love evidently was not able to overcome the years of painful bullying and other assaults you endured.
I cringe at some of the hateful things I hear about GLBTQ people from the mouths of supposed Christians. The words hurt. They wound. Sometimes they kill. They are the opposite of Christian love and charity. They are not the gospel that Jesus came to offer us.
How many more of our young people will have to be sacrificed on the altars of, in your words, “extremist Christian” hate before we as a society say, “No more”? I hope not too many. I would prefer none.
EricJames, wherever you are, I hope you are at peace and I hope you can forgive your tormentors. Truly, they knew not what they were doing.
Sincerely and sorrowfully,
“Eric Borhek”
(a/k/a Steve Lenius, a/k/a Your Humble Columnist)
P.S. You made a short film titled “Invisible Creatures” that showed such potential. The lighting, camerawork and composition were beautiful. I'm so sorry you won’t have a chance to make any more films. I would have wanted to see them.
Dear EricJames,
I didn’t know you, but I wish I would have been able to. I wish I could have given you hope by telling you what we have in common, how things worked out for me, how things could work out for you too.
You were a nineteen-year-old filmmaker. You were an intern with The Trevor Project, the nationally known GLBTQ youth suicide prevention hotline. On December 10, 2011, you posted an “It Gets Better” video in which you told a heartbreaking tale of being raised in an “extremist Christian” household. You spoke of being bullied from kindergarten through high school as well as at home. You told how your mother had performed an exorcism in an attempt to “cure” you.
A month later, you killed yourself.
Hearing your story brought me up short, because I, too, have been the subject of an exorcism. When I was nineteen, my mother discovered I was gay. She started fasting and praying that I would be cured. One evening she and her Christian fundamentalist friends held an exorcism in absentia in her living room to cast the demon of homosexuality out of me. (The exorcism was unsuccessful.)
My mother started writing a book which she thought would be about how her son had been prayed straight. But she later wrote: “As I watched him living his life, I was the one who began to change my ideas.” As it turned out, her book was subtitled “A mother struggles to accept her gay son and discovers herself.” That book, by Mary Borhek, was My Son Eric, and for many years she spoke out as an activist for GLBT rights.(Since my mother wanted to use pseudonyms in the book, I chose “Eric” for mine. So we also share a first name, sort of.)
I was very lucky—I was blessed with other supportive people who helped me deal with my mother’s initial reaction to my gayness. But as an intern at The Trevor Project, you certainly had supportive people around you too. Tragically, their support and love evidently was not able to overcome the years of painful bullying and other assaults you endured.
I cringe at some of the hateful things I hear about GLBTQ people from the mouths of supposed Christians. The words hurt. They wound. Sometimes they kill. They are the opposite of Christian love and charity. They are not the gospel that Jesus came to offer us.
How many more of our young people will have to be sacrificed on the altars of, in your words, “extremist Christian” hate before we as a society say, “No more”? I hope not too many. I would prefer none.
EricJames, wherever you are, I hope you are at peace and I hope you can forgive your tormentors. Truly, they knew not what they were doing.
Sincerely and sorrowfully,
“Eric Borhek”
(a/k/a Steve Lenius, a/k/a Your Humble Columnist)
P.S. You made a short film titled “Invisible Creatures” that showed such potential. The lighting, camerawork and composition were beautiful. I'm so sorry you won’t have a chance to make any more films. I would have wanted to see them.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Altered States
(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #434, January 6, 2012)
Sometimes your humble columnist is startled to see concepts, ideas and practices associated with the modern-day leather/BDSM/fetish community appear in other communities, places and times. Throughout history, humans have yearned for altered states of consciousness. And they have arrived at similar ways to reach those altered states.
Example: Many descriptions of ancient “mystery” initiation ceremonies, whether in Egypt, Greece, Rome, the middle east or among the Celts and Druids, contain many similar details. The ceremonies supposedly took places in dark chambers, often underground. The initiate often had to undergo some kind of suffering but was able to transmute it into spiritual knowledge and enlightenment. One account of these ceremonies on the Web likened them to a crucifixion—except the initiate was lightly bound to a table “shaped like the Roman numeral X.” Sounds to me like a dungeon with a St. Andrew's cross.
According to The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner, aboriginal native people and tribes throughout North and South America, Europe, Asia and Australia arrived independently at practices and concepts for healing that had many similarities. In their earth- and nature-based worldview, illness was seen as a loss of a person’s spirit, soul or power. With the help of hypnotic drumming (and sometimes plant-based hallucinogens) the shaman was able to enter an altered state of consciousness, journey to the spirit world and, often aided by “power animals,” retrieve their patient’s lost or stolen power, thus making the patient a whole being again.
Many people today say they find BDSM experiences have helped them “reclaim their personal power” after incidents of serious illness or domestic or sexual abuse. The repetitive sound of a flogger hitting a person’s back can induce the same kind of consciousness shift as a shaman’s drum. And it would appear that many in our community resonate with either puppies or ponies as their personal power animals.
The fact that our community’s archetypes have so many similarities to the archetypes of so many other communities in other places and times points to a conclusion: perhaps, based on history and human experience, kinky people are more “normal” than some non-kinky types might care to admit.
Sometimes your humble columnist is startled to see concepts, ideas and practices associated with the modern-day leather/BDSM/fetish community appear in other communities, places and times. Throughout history, humans have yearned for altered states of consciousness. And they have arrived at similar ways to reach those altered states.
Example: Many descriptions of ancient “mystery” initiation ceremonies, whether in Egypt, Greece, Rome, the middle east or among the Celts and Druids, contain many similar details. The ceremonies supposedly took places in dark chambers, often underground. The initiate often had to undergo some kind of suffering but was able to transmute it into spiritual knowledge and enlightenment. One account of these ceremonies on the Web likened them to a crucifixion—except the initiate was lightly bound to a table “shaped like the Roman numeral X.” Sounds to me like a dungeon with a St. Andrew's cross.
According to The Way of the Shaman by Michael Harner, aboriginal native people and tribes throughout North and South America, Europe, Asia and Australia arrived independently at practices and concepts for healing that had many similarities. In their earth- and nature-based worldview, illness was seen as a loss of a person’s spirit, soul or power. With the help of hypnotic drumming (and sometimes plant-based hallucinogens) the shaman was able to enter an altered state of consciousness, journey to the spirit world and, often aided by “power animals,” retrieve their patient’s lost or stolen power, thus making the patient a whole being again.
Many people today say they find BDSM experiences have helped them “reclaim their personal power” after incidents of serious illness or domestic or sexual abuse. The repetitive sound of a flogger hitting a person’s back can induce the same kind of consciousness shift as a shaman’s drum. And it would appear that many in our community resonate with either puppies or ponies as their personal power animals.
The fact that our community’s archetypes have so many similarities to the archetypes of so many other communities in other places and times points to a conclusion: perhaps, based on history and human experience, kinky people are more “normal” than some non-kinky types might care to admit.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Atons Holiday Fundraiser
(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #432, December 16, 2011)
The Atons of Minneapolis held their traditional annual Holiday Fundraiser on Sunday, December 4, at the Bolt Underground in Minneapolis. There was food, drink and general merriment, along with live and silent auctions, two bootblacks, holiday photos with Leather Santa and his Naughty Elf, and a food drive that collected 900 pounds of food for The Aliveness Project.
This year’s event raised approximately $2,000, which was donated to Outfront Minnesota Community Services to provide education about the benefits of marriage equality (in preparation for the November 2012 vote on the proposed Minnesota state constitutional amendment to limit marriage to one man and one woman).
My thanks to Atons member Andrew Bertke for allowing me to share some of his photos of this event. You’ll find many more photos from this year’s Atons Holiday Fundraiser online at the Lavender Magazine website. Enjoy them all, and—whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate it—Happy Holidays from Leather Life!
The Atons of Minneapolis held their traditional annual Holiday Fundraiser on Sunday, December 4, at the Bolt Underground in Minneapolis. There was food, drink and general merriment, along with live and silent auctions, two bootblacks, holiday photos with Leather Santa and his Naughty Elf, and a food drive that collected 900 pounds of food for The Aliveness Project.
This year’s event raised approximately $2,000, which was donated to Outfront Minnesota Community Services to provide education about the benefits of marriage equality (in preparation for the November 2012 vote on the proposed Minnesota state constitutional amendment to limit marriage to one man and one woman).
My thanks to Atons member Andrew Bertke for allowing me to share some of his photos of this event. You’ll find many more photos from this year’s Atons Holiday Fundraiser online at the Lavender Magazine website. Enjoy them all, and—whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate it—Happy Holidays from Leather Life!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Leather Life’s Holiday Gift Guide
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click here to view the post.
Friday, October 21, 2011
A Beginning and an Ending
(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #428, October 21, 2011)
Two local leather/BDSM events with similar names, held the same September weekend, represented a beginning and an ending.
The beginning: the first Northern Lights (and Kinky Nights) regional BDSM education weekend was held in St. Paul. The weekend included 24 educational seminars, a vendor area, two nights of dungeon/playspace action, and a silent auction benefiting the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).
The creation of the Northern Lights weekend was inspired by Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) XI, which was held in Minneapolis in 2007 and on which many of the Northern Lights organizers worked. The aim of the Northern Lights organization is “to bring the best of Minnesota to the world and the best of the kink world to Minnesota.”
Apparently the event’s organizers succeeded in their goal; organizers felt the event “went really, really well.” Survey feedback from attendees was good, vendors said they’d be back next year, and presenters were pleased with how the event was run. Northern Lights drew over 230 attendees from the region (Minnesota, North Dakota, and Iowa) and presenters from Chicago, Boston and Denver.
The ending: Minnesota Storm Patrol’s third Northern Xposure run apparently will be the club’s last. The theme of this year’s run was Totally Twisted Fairy Tales, and the run also incorporated the fall meeting of the Mid-America Conference of Clubs. In addition, the Atons of Minneapolis supported the run by making its banquet the venue for their monthly Leather/Levi Dinner.
At the run’s Sunday morning brunch the announcement was made that, now that the Minnesota Storm Patrol had presented its run, the club would start the process of dissolving itself. Many questions remain, such as whether some Minnesota Storm Patrol members will seek to join other existing clubs or whether a new club will be started.
Until such time as all arrangements for the club’s dissolution are made, the Minnesota Storm Patrol will continue holding their monthly beer busts at The Town House in St. Paul. And watch for details on a possible last Minnesota Storm Patrol bar event, at which the club’s colors will be retired.
Two local leather/BDSM events with similar names, held the same September weekend, represented a beginning and an ending.
The beginning: the first Northern Lights (and Kinky Nights) regional BDSM education weekend was held in St. Paul. The weekend included 24 educational seminars, a vendor area, two nights of dungeon/playspace action, and a silent auction benefiting the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF).
The creation of the Northern Lights weekend was inspired by Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) XI, which was held in Minneapolis in 2007 and on which many of the Northern Lights organizers worked. The aim of the Northern Lights organization is “to bring the best of Minnesota to the world and the best of the kink world to Minnesota.”
Apparently the event’s organizers succeeded in their goal; organizers felt the event “went really, really well.” Survey feedback from attendees was good, vendors said they’d be back next year, and presenters were pleased with how the event was run. Northern Lights drew over 230 attendees from the region (Minnesota, North Dakota, and Iowa) and presenters from Chicago, Boston and Denver.
The ending: Minnesota Storm Patrol’s third Northern Xposure run apparently will be the club’s last. The theme of this year’s run was Totally Twisted Fairy Tales, and the run also incorporated the fall meeting of the Mid-America Conference of Clubs. In addition, the Atons of Minneapolis supported the run by making its banquet the venue for their monthly Leather/Levi Dinner.
At the run’s Sunday morning brunch the announcement was made that, now that the Minnesota Storm Patrol had presented its run, the club would start the process of dissolving itself. Many questions remain, such as whether some Minnesota Storm Patrol members will seek to join other existing clubs or whether a new club will be started.
Until such time as all arrangements for the club’s dissolution are made, the Minnesota Storm Patrol will continue holding their monthly beer busts at The Town House in St. Paul. And watch for details on a possible last Minnesota Storm Patrol bar event, at which the club’s colors will be retired.
Friday, September 23, 2011
At the Great Lakes Leather Alliance weekend, a picture is worth . . .
(Published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #426, September 23, 2011)
Wow, have I taken a lot of photographs over the years! I never realized how many until I was asked to give a leather history presentation and started going through all my photos.
The presentation was part of the recent Great Lakes Leather Alliance (GLLA) weekend in Indianapolis, Ind. A leather weekend in the heart of conservative Indiana? Yes, and in its tenth year, too. GLLA brought together members of the gay, lesbian, and pansexual leather/BDSM/fetish community primarily but not exclusively from the Great Lakes region. It was a jam-packed weekend with four concurrent leather contests and over 40 educational seminars. The seminar I presented was called “I Was There: A Photojournalistic Review of Leather History.”
To put that presentation together, I went through all the photos I’ve taken or collected since getting into leather in 1993. The cliché with photos is that most people have them crammed in a shoebox. My photo library fills three large boxes, the equivalent of 12 shoeboxes each. And those are just the ones taken using a film camera. (Remember film?) The more recent photos were taken digitally and occupy space only on my computer’s hard drive. But still, film and digital, there were lots of photos to go through, and lots of happy memories came back to me as I went through the photos.
For the presentation I used about 350 photos that best told the story of the last eighteen years of the leather community as I saw and photographed them. The presentation included photos of club events, contests and titleholders, evenings at leather bars and bar events, and Leather Pride celebrations and parades through the years.
Some of these photos have been exhibited at the Leather Pride booth at the Twin Cities Pride festival or at other Minnesota Leather Pride events. Some of them will be included in a book I’m planning to publish. But right now, you can visit the Lavender website and see a selection of photos from the presentation.
So, what’s a picture worth? A thousand words, and a ton of memories.
Wow, have I taken a lot of photographs over the years! I never realized how many until I was asked to give a leather history presentation and started going through all my photos.
The presentation was part of the recent Great Lakes Leather Alliance (GLLA) weekend in Indianapolis, Ind. A leather weekend in the heart of conservative Indiana? Yes, and in its tenth year, too. GLLA brought together members of the gay, lesbian, and pansexual leather/BDSM/fetish community primarily but not exclusively from the Great Lakes region. It was a jam-packed weekend with four concurrent leather contests and over 40 educational seminars. The seminar I presented was called “I Was There: A Photojournalistic Review of Leather History.”
To put that presentation together, I went through all the photos I’ve taken or collected since getting into leather in 1993. The cliché with photos is that most people have them crammed in a shoebox. My photo library fills three large boxes, the equivalent of 12 shoeboxes each. And those are just the ones taken using a film camera. (Remember film?) The more recent photos were taken digitally and occupy space only on my computer’s hard drive. But still, film and digital, there were lots of photos to go through, and lots of happy memories came back to me as I went through the photos.
For the presentation I used about 350 photos that best told the story of the last eighteen years of the leather community as I saw and photographed them. The presentation included photos of club events, contests and titleholders, evenings at leather bars and bar events, and Leather Pride celebrations and parades through the years.
Some of these photos have been exhibited at the Leather Pride booth at the Twin Cities Pride festival or at other Minnesota Leather Pride events. Some of them will be included in a book I’m planning to publish. But right now, you can visit the Lavender website and see a selection of photos from the presentation.
So, what’s a picture worth? A thousand words, and a ton of memories.
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