Replacing Safe Sex with . . . Smart Sex!

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #304, January 19, 2007)

Here’s a New Year’s Resolution for you: Resolve to stop worrying about Safe Sex. Resolve instead to start having Smart Sex.

Smart Sex made its debut last spring in Issue #11 of Instigator Magazine and in palm cards handed out at the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago. The advertising campaign promoting Smart Sex is a joint effort of Instigator and asspig.com.

The concept of Smart Sex is the long-overdue re-tooling of what has been known as Safe Sex or Safer Sex, a concept that was a prominent, if not always welcome, feature of the sexual landscape during the latter part of the 20th century.

When AIDS first showed up no one knew what caused it or how to prevent its spread. But once the virus that caused AIDS was discovered and its transmission paths were identified, ways to prevent the spread of the virus started to be publicized.

At first these techniques were called “Safe Sex.” The term was later changed to “Safer Sex” in recognition of the fact that, although these transmission-prevention techniques can reduce the risks associated with unprotected sex, they are not foolproof. Condoms, for example, sometimes break.

(So, just to be clear, it’s not called “Safer Sex” because it’s safer than “Safe Sex”— it’s called “Safer Sex” because it’s safer than unsafe sex. Got it?)

For a generation of gay men, Safe Sex was something to practice religiously, or to feel guilty about when one didn’t. For awhile, thanks to a massive educational effort, many gay men changed the way they had sex much of the time.

As the years wore on, however, the sexual landscape changed. Battle fatigue set in, and it became harder for men to be vigilant for safe sex every time. Protease inhibitors and other antiviral drugs meant that AIDS was no longer necessarily an immediate death sentence, which led to “being safe each and every time” seeming less important.

A new generation of young gay men, who had never known sex without the baggage of HIV but who had also not lived through the nightmare of watching their friends die agonizing deaths, were blasé about AIDS. They didn’t appreciate being told what to do, and especially what not to do, by older men and by public health authorities.

And for men in the leather community, where danger and edginess are part of the thrill of leathersex, and where a rebel/outlaw mentality is often part of the mindset, Safe Sex equalled Boring Sex. (This continues to be a problem with the leather/BDSM/fetish community’s politically correct but hotly debated “Safe, Sane, Consenual” mantra.)

The old concept of Safe Sex appealed to fear, and it needed fear to be taken seriously. In a culture of young males, gay or straight, who pride themselves on fearing nothing (even to the point where “No Fear” has become a brand name), Safe Sex came to be viewed as lame and wimpy.

The genius of Smart Sex is that, instead of being built around fear, it is built around and reinforces a positive quality: intelligence. Most of us like to think of ourselves as smart people doing smart things and making smart choices. We normally don’t take pride in being dumb and doing dumb things (the people in the “Jackass” movies being the exception).

Therefore, who would want to have Dumb Sex?

Safe Sex tends to assume the worst about people, possibly insulting their intelligence in the process (i.e., “your good sense goes out the window when you get horny, so you’d better listen to us”). Smart Sex assumes people are intelligent and encourages them to think about themselves that way.

Condom use, keeping toys and playspaces clean, and getting tested periodically are examples of smart things to do and smart choices to make—choices that are more likely to lead to a long, healthy, sexually fulfilling future. What’s not to like about that?

If the concept of Smart Sex in itself represents a major paradigm shift, the advertising materials put together by Instigator and asspig.com are no less revolutionary. The language used in the campaign is refreshingly straightforward. Facts are presented simply, with no shaming, judging or moralizing. The overall attitude is one of care and concern—but in a brotherly voice, rather than from a parental or authority-figure viewpoint.

Art, photos and other graphics featured in the campaign are hard-hitting and explicit, which is perfectly appropriate to Instigator’s and asspig.com’s audiences. Richard Smith, president of the company that owns asspig.com, was quoted in Instigator as saying, “Why can’t we show hot men, having balls-to-the-wall sex without missing out on anything except maybe HIV and Hepatitis C.” (Or, I might add, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis B and a host of other problems.)

It’s interesting to note that this Smart Sex paradigm shift is not happening solely in the gay men’s or leather/BDSM/fetish community. An internet search for “Smart Sex” turned up approximately 30,000 hits and showed the words “Smart Sex” being used in the service of a wide variety of causes as varied as avoiding teen pregnancy, avoiding herpes and other venereal diseases, and “finding life-long love in a hookup world.”

No one, it seems, wants to have Dumb Sex.

This Is Your Brain on Leather: Lots of Food for Thought at LLC XI

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #303, January 5, 2007)

Register before Jan. 15 for early-bird rate

It has been said that the body’s largest sex organ is the brain. Members of the leather/BDSM/fetish community tend to understand this, and put that understanding to good (sometimes diabolical) use in the bedroom, playroom or dungeon. Even outside of play situations, our community has a sparkling and active intellectual life

The Minnesota Leather Pride Committee has, over the years, sponsored evening roundtable discussions on various leather-related topics. Attendance has always been good and the discussions have been spirited.

Now the eleventh annual Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) promises to take things to another level. The conference, scheduled for April 20-22, 2007, will bring leather/BDSM/fetish community members from around the world to Minneapolis. (If you haven’t registered yet, do it now—you only have until January 15 to take advantage of the $90 early-bird rate.)

Participants in this year’s LLC will be able to choose from a menu of thirty different presentations, workshops, and panel discussions (painstakingly distilled from over 70 proposals), and from among six different “caucuses,” or group discussions. (Only a few of the workshops are listed below—visit <www.leatherleadership.org/llc11> to see the complete list.)

In keeping with the artistic bent of this year’s conference theme (“The Art of Sharing Power . . . A Work in Progress”) presentations at this year’s LLC have been arranged into six different groupings named for various types of mosaics, all of which Minnesotans and other midwesterners will readily recognize.

The first mosaic, “Crop Art,” includes presentations dealing with organizational themes. Crop art is composed of seeds—and seeds, properly nurtured, grow into a healthy plant. Likewise, proper organizational nurturing yields a strong and stable organization.

“Crop Art” presentations include “Leadership for leather community leaders,” “When consent doesn’t count—decriminalizing consensual BDSM behavior,” and “Leadership vs. Management.”

The “Sand” mosaic includes presentations about event planning. Sand mandalas (introduced to Minnesota by Tibetan immigrants) and leather events both require enormous amounts of coordinated effort and planning resulting in a beautiful and vibrant, yet transitory, creation. When a mandala is completed, the four winds eventually scatter the sand, which will never be reassembled in quite the same fashion. Likewise, at the end of a leather event the participants return home with inspiration and memories of a beautiful gathering that can never be exactly repeated.

“Sand” presentations at LLC XI include “Creating equitable educational events for any size community” and “Putting sex back into leather.”

Presentations dealing with community outreach, publicity and promotion are included in the “Quilting and fabric art” mosaic. Quilting bees have historically been used to bind members of a community together and to welcome newcomers into the community. Quilts and other types of fabric art have long been used to communicate within a community and to document its history.

“Quilting and fabric art” presentations at LLC XI include “Outreach from the BDSM community: effective communcation with police, hospitals and social service agencies” and “Citizen Kinkster—developing community using tools of the new media.”

One of the questions often asked by newcomers to the leather/BDSM/fetish community is “Where do I fit in?” Presentations for newcomers, or for those working with newcomers, are included in the “Tile and ceramic” mosaic. These large mosaics often cover a breathtaking expanse, yet each one of the millions of pieces is perfectly integrated and plays its part in creating the dazzling whole.

“Tile and ceramic” presentations include “Supporting young adults in alternative sexual lifestyles,” “Creating the gender-safe kink organization,” “Leather youth leadership—organizing our community,” and “Mentoring—sowing seeds to grow the next crop of leaders.”

Presentations about presenters? But of course (or, to be Minnesotan, “you betcha”)—they’re included in the “Glass” mosaic. Presenters are educators, and for hundreds of years stained-glass windows have been used as educational tools. Presenters also need to promote themselves in order to get speaking engagements, and mosaics of glass tubes filled with glowing neon represent attention-getting promotional devices.

“Glass” presentations include “You get what you pay for: the value of good education,” “Developing skills-based presenters,” “Understanding sexual freedom as a leather leader,” and “Getting it out there” (presented by Mistress Amanda Wildefyre, author and performer of “Confessions of a Lesbian Dominatrix”).

Finally, “Stone” mosaics represent the very foundation of our community: personal growth, the history and philosophy of leather, and relationship issues. These basics give us the capacity to create the other types of mosaics listed above.

“Stone” presentations include “Sleeping with the competition—sharing power with rival groups,” “Submissives in Leadership,” and “Planning for relationship changes.”

In addition to these workshops and caucuses, the conference will include an opening keynote by noted photographer and activist Barbara Nitke, a closing keynote by International Mr. Leather 2003 John Pendal, an opening cabaret emceed by Patrick Scully, optional pre-conference workshops, and an optional Saturday breakfast with speaker Laura Antoniou, internationally acclaimed author of the “Marketplace” series of erotic novels.

You can find full details on Leather Leadership Conference XI, including a complete listing and more details on the various mosaics and workshops, at <www.leatherleadership.org/llc11>. Check it out, and register before January 15 to take advantage of the early-bird rate of $90.

A Spirit of Giving: Atons Holiday Fundraiser 2006

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #302, December 23, 2006)

BYLINE: by Steve Lenius (Photos by Paul Nixdorf and Steve Lenius)

’Tis the season. The Atons of Minneapolis held their annual Holiday Fundraiser Sunday, December 3 at the Bolt Underground in Minneapolis. A food drive collected about 1,600 pounds of food for the Aliveness Project’s Holiday Basket Program, and silent and live auctions benefited Open Arms of Minnesota.

Auction merchandise included leather vests, pants, chaps, harnesses, several pairs of boots, a handmade bootshine cabinet, books, videos, posters and framed art—and a 2006 Santa Bear. Also auctioned off were several baskets of (really yummy) holiday cookies from the annual Kinky Cookie Bake.

My thanks to photographer extraordinaire Paul Nixdorf for allowing me to share some of his photos of the event with you. Whatever you celebrate, however you celebrate it—Happy Holidays from Leather Life!

PHOTOS:

PHOTO: Tim and John, chefs for the evening’s meal.

PHOTOS:

PC039333.JPG Tim and John with food (credit to Steve Lenius)

DSC-9764 Tim and John with food (credit to Paul Nixdorf)

DSC-9765 Tim and John, no food shown (credit to Paul Nixdorf)

PHOTO: PC039329 Some of the auction merchandise at the Atons Holiday Fundraiser.

PHOTO: DSC-9768 Auction merchandise: a leather harness awaits its new owner.

PHOTO: DSC-9813 A 2006 Santa Bear and an iron candleholder were among the auction items.

PHOTO: DSC-9856 Auction bidders inspecting the merchandise.

PHOTO: DSC-9898 Bruce, the auctioneer for the evening.

PHOTO: DSC-9906 Bruce, the auctioneer for the evening, assisted by Atons pledge Bobbie.

PHOTOS: DSC-9871, DSC-9872, DSC-9873, DSC-9874 Some of the food collected for The Aliveness Project’s Holiday Basket Program.

PHOTOS: PC039354, PC039356 Atons associate Roger with some of the food collected for The Aliveness Project’s Holiday Basket Program.

PHOTO SUBJECT: The evening’s visiting bootblack (Pup from Madison) gave John’s boots a nice shine.

PHOTOS: DSC-9885, DSC-9886 Mark Beckler, Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2006, as Leather Santa.

PHOTOS: DSC-9891, DSC-9892, DSC-9893 Craig telling Leather Santa (Mark Beckler, Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2006) what he wants for Christmas.

PHOTOS: DSC-9894, DSC-9895, DSC-9896 Craig giving Leather Santa (Mark Beckler, Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2006) a Christmas card. (The sentiment inside the card: “just shut up and be merry, dammit.”)

PHOTO: DSC-9844 The back of Sam’s vest showing club patches (credit to Paul Nixdorf)

Sexual Freedom . . . and other human rights

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #301, December 8, 2006)

It was a busy weekend (Nov. 8-12—a long weekend) in Kansas City. I was there for the 19th annual Creating Change Conference, a GLBT leadership gathering presented annually by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF).

It was a weekend to talk about sexual freedom, and the fact that sexual freedom is a basic human right. The concept of sexual freedom as a basic human right is the message of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation (named for Victoria Woodhull, a pioneering nineteenth-century activist who was an advocate for sexual freedom and women’s equality during America’s repressive Victorian era). The Woodhull Freedom Foundation, as part of the Creating Change Conference, put together a weekend-long, mind-expanding and thought-provoking series of workshops on sexuality and sexual freedom.

It was a weekend to be visible in leather. For many years leatherfolk have been seen by many mainstream GLBT activist groups as something of an embarrassment. Recently NGLTF has taken steps to acknowledge that members of the leather community have played, and still play, a major part in the struggle for GLBT rights and equality. This year, for the first time, there was an organized leather presence at Creating Change.

In addition to talking about sexual freedom as a basic human right, Creating Change also was a weekend to talk about other human rights—and not only in a gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender context.

Sunday’s closing keynote speaker was Loretta J. Ross, national coordinator and co-founder of SisterSong Reproductive Health Collective (<www.sistersong.net>). Ross described eight kinds of basic human rights:

• civil rights, the rights guaranteed and protected by the Constitution, such as freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of assembly and freedom of religion.

• political rights, such as the right to vote or to run for elective office.

• economic rights, including the right to a job with a living wage and freedom from unfair competition and monopolies.

• social rights having to do with human needs such as the right to work, to an education, or to healthcare. Ross stressed that social rights are not about charity or welfare. They are about services that are government obligations—services that are one of the reasons governments are created.

• cultural rights, the rights to be proud of, enjoy, express and live out one’s heritage and culture, be it GLBT, African-American, Hispanic, Asian, Native American—or Italian, Irish or Norwegian. Or leather.

• environmental rights, such as the rights to clean air and water, sustainable agriculture and wise use of natural resources.

• developmental rights, such as the rights of developing countries to control their own resources and destinies.

And finally—

• sexual rights, such as the rights to sexual pleasure and fulfillment. Yes, these sexual rights are as basic, integral and necessary as the other rights listed here.

Ross noted that it doesn’t work to fight for one set of rights by squashing other rights. It also doesn’t work to fight for only one set of rights while ignoring the others—and she then presented a cautionary tale. Ross mentioned a book, Eyes Off the Prize by Carol Anderson (published by Cambridge University Press) that puts a rarely-told spin on what most people think is a well-known story.

At the end of World War II, with the world horrified at the atrocities of Nazi Germany, the NAACP saw an opportunity to push for full human rights for African-Americans. Unfortunately, the rising tide of anti-communism in the early 1950s allowed white southern politicians to successfully paint those human rights as a communist threat to the traditional American way of life. (Sound familiar? If the Soviet Union were still in existence, marriage equality for gays and lesbians undoubtedly would be the latest communist plot.)

The NAACP was forced to narrow the focus of its efforts from full human rights to a narrow civil rights agenda that was more politically acceptable. The result: a generation later, many African-American citizens in America still do not have their full complement of human rights.

Likewise, today we as a community can agitate for marriage (or civil unions, or whatever) for gay and lesbian couples. But if we do so in a vacuum, we won’t produce our desired outcome. NGLTF director Matt Foreman spoke about this in his “State of the Movement” speech, calling for “a vision and an agenda where equality is the floor and a transformed America is the ceiling.” (Read the entire speech at <www.thetaskforce.org>.)

Transforming America, Foreman said, will require working with and for “other” (i.e. not exclusively GLBT) causes—including the allied areas of reproductive justice, social justice, racial equity, environmental concerns and sexual freedom issues—as never before. If we do this, the ultimate payoff will be a society in which basic human rights apply to members of the GLBT community, the leather/BDSM/fetish community, and everyone else.

NGLTF, SisterSong and Ipas (<ipas.org>) have collaborated on “Mapping Our Rights,” a website that documents the vast state-to-state differences in sexual and reproductive rights. Go to the website, click on any state and you’ll find a numerical rank (Minnesota’s rank is a middle-of-the-pack 22) and the positive or negative factors that determined that rank. Check it out at <www.mappingourrights.org>.

Leather Life’s Holiday Gift Guide: Steve’s Stocking Stuffers

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Leather Leadership Conference XI: The Recipe (and a Progress Report to the Community)

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #299, November 10, 2006)

GRAPHIC: LLC logo

The eleventh annual Leather Leadership Conference (hereinafter known as LLC XI) will be held in Minneapolis at the Hyatt Regency April 20-22, 2007. That’s now just five months away.

We will be ready. We will be so ready.

In my role as Chief Instigator of the Local Organizing Committee that is planning this conference, I want to tell the community what we’ve accomplished and what we’re planning—and how you can participate. Here’s the recipe we’re following to make this conference happen:

1. August, 2004 (two years and eight months in advance of the conference): Call first meeting to discuss feasibility of having a Leather Leadership Conference in Minnesota. Wonder if anyone will show up. Express delight that about 25 people show up, and they all bring talent, expertise and enthusiasm to the project.

2. Spend next five months researching and preparing a bid to the LLC National Board to convince them to award the 2007 conference to Minnesota. Submit bid in January, 2005.

3. April, 2005 (two years in advance): Meet with LLC National Board at LLC 9 in Phoenix to discuss Minnesota’s bid. Shortly thereafter, receive notification that Minnesota has been awarded the 2007 conference. Do happy dance, then get down to work.

4. Start putting together a conference budget, projecting income and expenses. Also start putting together a comprehensive project plan that lists all the steps and tasks necessary to present the best LLC yet.

5. Secure Hyatt Regency Minneapolis as host hotel. Negotiate special room rate of $129/night. Start planning logistics for hotel, air travel, ground transportation, catering, conference rooms, etc.

6. Determine conference theme, “The Art of Sharing Power . . . a work in progress,” that both addresses a need in the leather/BDSM/fetish community and draws on the rich art and cultural resources of the Twin Cities.

7. Determine graphic/branding treatment of conference theme. Design advertisements, postcards, posters, buttons, t-shirts, pins, and other promotional materials. Order 5,000 postcards. Distribute advertisements and postcards at leather events everywhere.

8. Set up conference website and Buzz Network (Yahoo! group/e-mail list) to keep people informed about LLC XI.

9. Book keynote speakers (quickly, before their schedules fill up). Choose speakers who will generate excitement and draw people to the conference: New York photographer/activist Barbara Nitke and International Mr. Leather 2003 John Pendal. Later add a third speaker, author Laura Antoniou.

10. Plan a Thursday-night pre-conference welcome reception featuring gourmet desserts. Plan three pre-conference workshops for Friday afternoon. Plan a Friday-night opening cabaret hosted by Patrick Scully.

11. Determine programming “tracks” or categories for presentations, tying them to the overall conference “The Art of Sharing Power” theme. Publicize tracks on e-mail lists, website and Buzz Network.

12. April, 2006 (twelve months in advance): At the conclusion of LLC X in New York City, announce that LLC XI will be held in Minneapolis. Pass out Minnesota stuff, including packages of Spam, to audience. Have LLC XI website go live the following day.

13. Set up registration procedures and make plans to integrate them into the website.

14. Order another 5,000 postcards.

15. August, 2006 (eight months in advance): Host weekend-long LLC National Board meeting at Hyatt Regency Minneapolis. Update them on our progress and show them a typical Minnesota event by having them be guests at the Dark Ages Faire Saturday evening.

16. Order yet another 5,000 postcards.

17. Send out Call for Presenters. Send e-mails to presenters at past LLCs, post announcements on various e-mail lists and groups including the LLCXI Buzz Network, and have presenter application available on the Buzz Network.

18. Open conference registration and publicize it. Encourage people to take advantage of the $90 early-bird rate.

19. Start raising money. Keep conference registration costs low and affordable by asking individuals, clubs, groups, organizations, events and businesses to become conference sponsors. Develop sponsorship packages in various amounts to facilitate this process.

20. Issue a call for volunteers for both before and during the conference.

That brings us to the present. This is where you become an invaluable part of this recipe. Here’s how you can participate in LLC XI:

21. Get in the know about LLC XI by visiting the LLC XI website (<www.leatherleadership.org/llc11>) and by joining the LLC Buzz Network (<groups.yahoo.com/subscribe/LLC_Buzz_Network>).

22. Register to attend the conference (< www.regonline.com/llcelevenregistration>). LLC is for you if you’re interested in community service, leadership, group dynamics or the history of the leather/BDSM/fetish community. If you’re a member of a club or organization, be sure your group has representatives attending the conference (perhaps you?).

23. Submit a proposal to be a presenter. The Call for Presentations is open until Nov. 15, so there’s still time. We’re especially looking for presenters from the Twin Cities and the midwest. (Start by taking a look at the programming tracks at <www.leatherleadership.org/llc11/news_060900.html>.)

24. Become a conference sponsor. Individual and group/organization/business sponsorships are available at various levels. Contact <info@leatherleadership.org> for more information.

25. Become a conference volunteer. Help us present a great conference as we welcome visitors from across the country and around the world. A variety of volunteer positions are available, both before and during the conference. Contact <info@leatherleadership.org> for more information.

On Nov. 7, Your Safeword is “Vote!”

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #298, October 27, 2006)

My involvement in preparing for next year’s Leather Leadership Conference XI in Minneapolis (April 20-22, 2007—registration is now open at <www.leatherleadership.org/llc11>) has made me see leadership—and our nation’s current lack of it—in a whole new light.

The goals of the Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) are a) to strengthen the SM/Leather/Fetish community by developing the leadership skills of community members, and b) to foster a greater sense of connection between and within community groups, and a greater sense of unity and understanding within the community as a whole.

That seems to me too good to keep to ourselves. Maybe LLC 2008 should be in Washington, D.C. And maybe we should invite a few congressmen, senators and White House types to sit in on some lessons in effective leadership—because there certainly seems to be a dearth of it in Washington right now.

Then again, why wait until 2008? Let’s invite our national (and, while we’re at it, world) leaders to LLC in Minneapolis next April. Image what a different place the world would be if its leaders learned a thing or two about the theme of next year’s conference, “The Art of Sharing Power.”

I am not necessarily being facetious here. One contestant at this year’s International Mr. Leather contest (I wish I could remember which one) said something to the effect of, “If world peace is ever going to be achieved, it has to come from somewhere. Why not the leather community?”

Why not, indeed. The way we live our lives in this community means we have to think deeply about many things that people living their lives in more conventional fashion don’t have to think about at all. That breeds an unconventional and rare sort of wisdom.

It behooves us to share that wisdom by being in positions of leadership—not just in the leather community, but in other communities and in the wider community as well. We share our wisdom by serving on community and non-profit boards, by participating in civic and political activities, and by making our voices heard. We share our wisdom by leading, and by demonstrating and exercising good leadership.

And, at the most basic level of leadership, if there is currently a lack of leadership in Congress and the White House, it is up to all of us to deal with that leadership vacuum by voting, and voting intelligently.

An analogy has just occurred to me. Think of our current national nightmare—the quagmire in Iraq, the ineffective response to Katrina, civil liberties trampled, scandal upon scandal, etc.—as a BDSM scene gone horribly bad.

In 2000, the people of the United States voted to allow themselves to be led, or topped, by George Bush and his administration. (Of course, it was a nonconsensual scene for just over 50% of the electorate, but that’s politics.) It could also be said that we elected a Republican majority in both houses of Congress to act as overseers, i.e. dungeon masters. And the scene began.

Well, the scene hasn’t turned out either as promised or as hoped for. Who knew that we as a nation would be bottoming to such incompetent, arrogant, selfish, dishonest, hypocritical, unprincipled tops? (Well, slightly more than 50% of the electorate had an idea what was coming. But, again, that’s politics.)

For the last several years I have watched things continually worsen to the point where since 2004 I have personally questioned whether our nation and our world, to say nothing of the leather and GLBT communities, can survive this administration’s (poor) leadership until 2008. We have seen scandal, incompetence, and corruption on a massive scale. It doesn’t look like good leadership to me.

In BDSM parlance, a “safeword” is a predetermined word which, when uttered by anyone involved, modifies the action of a scene. One popular series of safewords is “green” (everything’s fine, keep going), “yellow” (slow down), and “red” (stop immediately).

In 2004 the American electorate had a chance to safeword out of what was even then a nightmare scene. But we didn’t. The two safewords were “blue” and “red,” and very slightly more than 50% of the electorate said “red”—which in this case meant “more of the same.”

As the 2006 mid-term elections approach, however, it appears the tide might be turning. Many leaders find themselves with a dwindling following as poll numbers and approval ratings drop to new lows.

So consider the mid-term elections on Nov. 7 as your chance to safeword out of this national/international nightmare scene, at least partially. Your ballot/safeword might not bring things to an immediate halt. But it might at least act as a “yellow” that will slow things down until 2008, when—assuming the republic has not morphed into a dictatorship—we will have a chance to choose leadership that is more honest, more caring and more effective.

On Nov. 7, vote for change. Vote for sanity. Vote for clarity. Vote for honesty. Vote for accountability. These are all things that leather culture prizes. We demand them in our fellow community members. We should demand them in our community leaders and in our national leaders as well.

It’s your ballot. It’s your safeword. On Nov. 7, use it.