Cruisin’ with the Twin City Riders

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #291, July 21, 2006)

PHOTO: Members of the Twin City Riders at this year’s Ashley Rukes GLBT Pride Parade.

Every year, what group gets the Twin Cities Ashley Rukes GLBT Pride Parade off to a roaring start? The famous and beloved Dykes on Bikes, of course. But this year there was another group of gay motorcycle riders in the parade, revving their engines and getting cheers from the crowd: The Twin City Riders, or TCRiders for short. They were the guys on motorbikes following the 75-foot-long rainbow and leather-pride flags.

The Twin City Riders is a group of GLBT motorcyclists living in the Minneapolis/St. Paul metropolitan area, and in outstate Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, and North and South Dakota. The mission of the group, as stated on their web site (<groups.yahoo.com/group/twincityriders>, is simple: to build friendship and camaraderie through group rides.

Last summer the Twin City Riders experienced their first full summer of riding (although their Yahoo! group dates back to 2003), and their second season of weekly rides is going strong. Every Sunday during riding season as many as twelve to fifteen riders make their weekend trek.

Riders are mostly gay men, but women and non-gay men ride too. Riders sometimes bring friends as passengers on their bike, or friends who have their own bike. Everyone is welcome, as long as you have a passion for motorbikes.

Every kind of cycle is welcome, too, from touring bikes to cruisers to sport bikes (also known as crotch rockets). Harley-Davidson, Honda, Yamaha and BMW are just some of the makes represented by current riders.

How is the group organized? Very loosely. There is an internet presence in the form of their Yahoo! group, but there are no bylaws, officers or dues. They don’t have back patches on their vests—they haven’t even talked about it. According to group member Ed Skjaret, “People who have belonged to clubs sometimes get burned out on politics. This isn’t that—this is just a Sunday ride.”

Riders meet at The Minneapolis Eagle at noon Sunday for brunch and to decide where they’re going to ride that day. They leave about 1 PM and return to the Eagle about 6 PM. (Some of them stay for the Eagle’s Sunday beer bust.)

The group might decide to ride from Hastings to Red Wing and then to Prescott, Wis. before grabbing a burger at Dick’s Bar & Grill in Hudson, Wis. or in Stillwater. Or they may ride west to Buffalo or north to Taylor’s Falls. Last year they rode to Madison, Wis. for the Madison GLBT Pride celebration, and this year they plan to ride to Duluth for their GLBT Pride celebration.

Sometimes during the week riders meet at Betty’s Bikes & Buns in northeast Minneapolis, or they may join the big biker gathering on the first Thursday of each month at Dulono’s Pizza on Lake St.

Members of the group take their riding, their cycles and their safety seriously. On the road they ride “in formation.” That means they alternate where in the traffic lane they ride—one rides on the side of the center line, while riders before and after ride on the “ditch side.” This enhances safety by providing better vision and a further view down the road for riders in the group (because they don’t have another rider directly in front of them). Also, riding in formation separates riders from each other by a distance of about fifteen feet in all directions, which also enhances safety.

Several riders have taken or are taking advanced motorcycle safety courses offered by the Minnesota Motorcycle Safety Association. These courses help riders be prepared for emergencies when they happen—say, when a car pulls out in front of a cycle, or when a car makes a left turn into the path of a cycle behind them. If the car had seen the motorcycle they wouldn’t have created such an unsafe situation—that’s what all those “Start Seeing Motorcycles” bumper stickers are about.

The Twin City Riders carry on a long tradition. Old-guard gay leather culture started with bikers in the 1950s who would cruise through Griffith Park in Los Angeles. The Satyrs of Los Angeles (< www.satyrsmc.org>) recently celebrated their 50th anniversary and have the distinction of being the oldest continually operating GLBT club/organization (not just biker club, but any kind of GLBT club or organization) in the country.

If you want to join the Twin City Riders for a ride, check out their Yahoo! group, or just show up at The Minneapolis Eagle on Sunday at noon. The group will be riding through October.

The Church of the Holy Circuit

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #290, July 7, 2006)

PHOTO: Excalibur, Chicago

Come with me now to Excalibur, “the best nightclub in Chicago.” It’s the Monday evening after the International Mr. Leather contest, and time for the Black & Blue Ball—the final official event of the IML weekend and one of the events on “the circuit” (as was Sunday night’s post-contest “Salute” party at Chicago’s famous House of Blues). This is where leathermen and circuit boys intersect.

(For the uninitiated, “the circuit” means circuit parties, a series of gay men’s dance parties held in major cities around the country and the world throughout the year. Just as a distinct culture has grown up around leather runs and title contests, a similar culture has grown up around circuit parties.)

They probably haven’t thought about it, but for many gay leathermen and gay men in general this and other circuit parties serve many of the purposes that churches serve or, in many instances, formerly served. Those who worry about the future of organized religion, and who wonder where the church is headed in the twenty-first century, will find ample food for thought here. (Perhaps it’s not coincidental that some of the most enduring music played at circuit parties is by an artist named Madonna, and her new album is called “Confessions on a Dance Floor.”)

The building that houses Excalibur was originally built in 1892 to house the Chicago Historical Society. The building’s architectural style is Romanesque Revival, based on the 11th- and 12th-century architecture of Spain and France. The building, clad in red granite, has turrets, high-peaked and steeply sloped roofs, arched windows and even a cathedral-like rose window. It looks vaguely church-like except for the absence of crosses on the roof peaks.

Entering through an ornate, dark portico, one finds oneself in a large central entrance lobby surrounded by other rooms (side chapels?). As with all great cathedrals, the building’s interior is decorated with stunning art, mostly contemporary photographs and including some interesting collage pieces. The ceilings are decoratively painted, and even the floors are ornate. Up the grand staircase from the main lobby is the main dance floor, surrounded by four levels of balconies and topped by high, steeply peaked ceilings.

The evening’s DJ, Matthew Harvat, is situated in a loft overlooking the dance floor. Like the organist or music director in a church, the DJ at a circuit party is responsible for picking music that will lead to the greatest inspiration and spiritual uplift. The beat of the music inspires bliss, and the messages in the lyrics celebrate love, music, fairness, justice, brotherhood and respect for self and others. Most of the vocals are sung by soulful female voices straight out of a gospel choir.

This is what the disco music of the early 1970s, the post-Stonewall years, has become. Some of tonight’s musical selections, in fact, are reissues or remakes of classic 70s disco—notice this word—anthems.

The music, and the bliss it inspires, are also reminiscent of the idealistic, positive, hopeful and politically-charged 1960s. One song exhorts listeners to “keep the faith.” (Unfortunately, too often circuit-party bliss-seeking involves drugs—another way in which this scene hearkens back to the 1960s.)

The effect of the music is enhanced by a fantastic light show that uses every trick in the book. Computer-controlled lights quickly and continuously change position, color and pattern, sending light beams cascading around the room. There are also lasers, strobe lights, fog machines and a mirrored disco ball. (In its time, the stained glass in twelfth-century cathedrals also served as an awe-inspiring light show.)

Everyone on the dance floor is male, in leather and, according to my gaydar, gay. But within that demographic it’s a diverse mix: black, white, Latino, Asian, etc. The age of crowd members ranges from the twenties to the sixties. Some are gym-buffed and some are not. But everyone is beautiful. No one seems to notice or care about ethnicity, age or physique—everyone here is equal.

The men are busy disproving the old adage that “Leathermen don’t dance.” The dancing is sensual and sultry. These guys know how to move and how to seduce. If dancing has always been a surrogate for sex, here it’s not too far removed.

Unlike traditional churches, circuit parties do not concern themselves with ritualistically marking, celebrating and commemorating life stages—baptisms, weddings, funerals, etc. The action on the dance floor is very much centered, like Buddhism, in the here and now. In that sense it is timeless or out-of-time, if only for an evening. It is an escape from the ordinary and the mundane, although not a permanent one.

But for tonight, it will do. Tonight, this is sacred space for these men and this tribe. Tonight, Excalibur is their cathedral and the Black & Blue Ball is their proverbial Sunday morning service on, in this case, Monday night.

This is their own kind of Sabbath rites and rituals. They are dressed in their version of Sunday Best, which in this case involves lots of leather, lots of body jewelry and lots of skin. This is their version of bliss-seeking, using their bodies to reach spirit, transcendence, liberation—the kind of liberation that started with Stonewall and just keeps evolving.

Do Bears Dance in the Woods? Minnesota Bear Ball Debuts

Article published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #289, June 23, 2006)

PHOTO: DJ Corliss will be in Minneapolis for the Minnesota Bear Ball weekend.

During the weekend of July 7-9, the number of bear sightings in downtown Minneapolis will rise markedly. Bears from all over will be in town for the first-ever Minnesota Bear Ball. (For the uninitiated, the “bears” being discussed here are members of a gay subcommunity of easy-going and often furry men.)

A local bear group, North Country Bears, maintains a full calendar of monthly events and routinely attracts 150-200 bears (and their admirers) to its Bear Bar Night at Trikkx in St. Paul on the fourth Friday of each month.

In past years, North Country Bears also presented a summer Bear Camp, but last year’s event was cancelled, leaving an open spot on their calendar. This year that spot is being filled with the MN Bear Ball weekend.

Event organizer Chris Gores is working with the board of North Country Bears to organize the MN Bear Ball events. Gores has attended other bear events such as Chicago’s annual Bear Pride celebration, the International Bear Rendezvous in San Francisco, and Chumley’s Bear Cruises. The idea occurred to him that Minnesota should host this kind of event. “We have fun with the local crowd,” says Gores, “but we wanted to attract bears from other cities.”

The weekend’s events start Friday evening with an Italian Bear Lasagna Dinner. Friday night’s private UnderBear Ball at The Bolt (next door to The Minneapolis Eagle) will feature DJ Corliss playing “real music for real men.” Corliss Resor, who formerly lived in Minneapolis and won the “Mr. Bear Minnesota” title in the mid-90s, now lives in Las Vegas and is the proprietor of Personal Pop, his own custom DJ service.

Imagine a gay circuit party, but with bears on the dance floor instead of (or in addition to) circuit boys, and you’ll have an idea of the kind of atmosphere Resor intends to create. “Sometimes it’s a challenge to get bears on the dance floor,” Resor says, so he’ll be playing “more masculine music with more male vocals, more tribal and more sexual than the usual cookie-cutter dance music.”

Saturday’s events include a Wet Fur Pool Party. This event will be held at a private residence and swimwear will be optional.

The bear watching will be especially interesting Sunday afternoon during Bears-on-a-Stick—three hours of touring the Minneapolis riverfront riding a Segway scooter. The tour also includes refreshments at the Mill City Museum. Other Sunday activities are a Cigar and Boxer Barbecue at the Minneapolis Eagle or a Bear Salmon Run at Nami Sushi.

All proceeds from MN Bear Ball events (and a silent auction to be held as part of the weekend) will benefit Outfront Minnesota and the Minnesota AIDS Project.

For more information about events and pricing, or to register online for either the weekend package for individual events, visit <www.mnbearball.com>.

Host hotel for the weekend is The Residence Inn at the Depot (425 S. 2nd St.). The hotel is within walking distance of most of the weekend’s venues. Rooms include free breakfast and free high-speed internet. Contact the hotel for room rates and availability.

The board of North Country Bears is assisting with the MN Bear Ball both by helping sponsor the weekend and by helping to provide volunteers for the event. If you would like to volunteer, please contact <host@mnbearball.com>.

International Mr. Leather 2006: Oh, Canada!

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #289, June 23, 2006)

Want proof that the International Mr. Leather (IML) contest is truly international? Canada swept the competition this year, winning both the International Mr. Leather medal and the International Mr. Bootblack trophy.

This year’s IML host hotel was Chicago’s famous Palmer House, which gave the contest a different feel after three years at the Chicago Hyatt Regency. The Palmer House is old, massive and elegant as opposed to the Hyatt being modern, sleek and elegant.

And while the Hyatt had one massive exhibition space for IML’s Leather Market, at the Palmer House the Leather Market sprawled from elegant ballroom to elegant ballroom over two floors. The shopping was still great, however. (There were over 100 vendors including, from the Twin Cities, Gear Essentials and Marc Debauch Erotic Art.)

At Thursday’s opening ceremonies, the IML contestants (this year there were 51) were introduced alphabetically and drew numbers to determine their order of competition for the rest of the weekend. One other event of note (or, more accurately, notoriety) took place Thursday evening: IML 2005 Michael Egdes’ step-aside speech.

Egdes eloquently described the state of the leather nation and all the issues currently facing us, and throughout the speech he was constantly interrupted by enthusiastic applause from the audience.

But the speech went a bit long—some said it ran 51 minutes, others 57 minutes—and the near-record length of the speech ended up being a topic of conversation (and good-natured kidding) for the rest of the weekend.

To his credit, as Leather Journal publisher Dave Rhodes observed, Egdes’ speech “was filled with good content, did not trash anyone in the leather community and he mercifully did not sing.”

Friday evening started on a melancholy note with a ceremony of remembrance for the late Thom Dombkowski, who for many years was IML’s Chief Judge. Tears were then dried and claws sharpened in order to roast outgoing IML Michael Egdes. Other Friday evening events included the International Bootblack, Don’t Mess with Texas and Florida parties, as well as a first-ever SmokingHOT Guys party held in the Palmer House’s Windsor Lounge (the only smoking area in the hotel).

The International Mr. Leather weekend has grown to be about networking as much as contests. On Saturday the following workshops and gatherings were available if one could tear oneself away from the Leather Market: a Leather Archives & Museum general membership meeting; IML Boy Gathering; Mental Health Professionals discussion group; People of Color leather leadership forum; Chicago Hellfire Club party; a neo-pagan workshop and ritual presented by Brotherhood of the Phoenix; a Positive Force Chicago Meet & Greet for HIV-positive men; a(nother) cigar party; the International Ms Leather party; the BLUF party for men who enjoy wearing breeches, leather and other uniforms; and the San Francisco party.

IML’s physique prejudging, affectionately known as “Pecs and Personality,” was presented Saturday evening in the Grand Ballroom at the Palmer House. Each IML contestant got a chance to show off both his pecs (and in most instances almost everything else) and his personality by answering a humorous question posed by the emcee of the weekend’s events, Brad Balof.

Then it was time for more parties—I mean networking—including Canada’s Maple Leaf Party, the Onyx dance party, the Puppy Party and the Leather Archives & Museum’s 15th-anniversary celebration.

The City of Chicago’s official Memorial Day Parade had marched on State Street, right in front of the Palmer House, on Saturday. On Sunday there was a second parade on State Street—except this time all the marchers were wearing leather, and they were marching to the International Mr. Leather Contest at the legendary Chicago Theater, conveniently located a few blocks from the Palmer House. Last year the contest was at Navy Pier, this year at the Chicago Theater—after all these years, IML has definitely hit the big time.

This year’s contest was the shortest in recent memory, and maybe the shortest ever. After all the contestants had been introduced, “Mr. Marcus” Hernandez (leather columnist for the Bay Area Reporter in San Francisco) had the honor of announcing IML’s top 20 finalists. In announcing Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2006 Mark Beckler as a finalist, Hernandez paid Beckler a special compliment when he said, “If it was up to me to marry one of these guys, this would be him.”

At the end of the evening, when the competition was over and while the tallymasters figured out the winner, the audience was entertained by the legendary Bruce Vilanch. He ended his comedy routine by inviting the audience to join with him in shouting one of the legendary punch lines he wrote for Bette Midler as Sophie Tucker (all together now): “Ernie, get off my back!”

And with that, it was time to announce the winners: The new International Mr. Bootblack is Benjamin Palmer from Vancouver. For International Mr. Leather: Second runner-up is Philippe Lepine, Mr. Fetish Switzerland 2006-2007; first runner-up is Larry Golubski, Mr. Long Beach Leather 2005; and the new International Mr. Leather 2006 is Mr. Leather Montreal 2006 Bo Ladashevska.

Minnesota Leather Pride: “100% Leather”

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #288, June 9, 2006)

PHOTO: Supplied now: Graphic of 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride Dog Tag art. Available on Wednesday, if that’s not too late: Photo of 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride Dog Tag on neck chain.

ART OR It’s June—time again for Minnesota Leather Pride. Dovetailing with this year’s Twin Cities GLBT Pride theme (“100% Pride, 0% Prejudice”), this year’s Minnesota Leather Pride theme is “100% Leather.”

The collectible 2006 edition of the Minnesota Leather Pride dog tag boldly proclaims this year’s theme, and it also gets you reduced admission prices at certain 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride events. Get yours for $5, while supplies last, at Cockpit Project, Dreamhaven Books, Gray’s Leather, Query Booksellers, Rainbow Road or Smitten Kitten (ask merchants about 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride discounts). Or buy your dog tag from members of the Minnesota Leather Pride committee at upcoming meetings and munches and at all 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride events.

Or maybe you’d like a free dog tag? During June, purchase a $99 early-bird registration package for next year’s Minnesota-hosted Leather Leadership Conference XI (April 20-22, 2007 at the Hyatt Regency Minneapolis) and get a free 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride dog tag. You’ll also get free admission to the Leather Smorgasbord on June 17 and the Temporary Piercing Workshop on June 18. All told, that’s a $22 value free when you register now for next year’s Leather Leadership Conference XI. Registration forms will be available at meetings, munches and all Minnesota Leather Pride events; visit <www.leatherleadership.org/LLC11> for more details.

This year’s Minnesota Leather Pride events are listed below. Information was current at my deadline but is subject to change. Updates will be posted at <www.MNLeatherPride.org>.

Saturday, June 10: 100% Ready! This year’s Minnesota Leather Pride kicks off with the Minnesota Storm Patrol Beer Bust at The Minneapolis Eagle, 5-8 P.M. Free admission, $5 for beer/soda bust. Designated charity is Camp Heartland.

Friday, June 16: Leather Roundtable Discussion: What Gets You High? A discussion of positive energy forces in the leather community—and those that should not be there. Over the Rainbow Bar, St. Paul, 7-9:30 P.M. Free admission. After this event, head to Atons Fetish Night at The Minneapolis Eagle. Fetish-of-the-month: Biker gear. 10 P.M. to midnight. Free admission.

Saturday, June 17: Leather Smorgasbord, an afternoon of workshops on humiliation, water sports and positions of submission—a little something for everybody. Patrick’s Cabaret, Noon-4 P.M. $10 admission (or $7 with your 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride dog tag).

Sunday, June 18: Temporary Piercing Workshop led by Dr. Fiendish. Patrick’s Cabaret, 1-3 P.M. $7 admission (or $5 with your 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride dog tag).

Monday, June 19: Fifth Annual Kinky Poetry Reading at Smitten Kitten. 7-9 P.M. Free admission.

Thursday, June 22: Leather/Fetish Swap Meet. Clean out your closet, then fill it up again! Plans also call for entertainment, in the form of demonstrations, while you shop. Over the Rainbow Bar, St. Paul, 7-10 P.M. Free admission.

Friday, June 23: Fetish Ball. Wear your best leather/fetish gear. Featuring the ever-popular Floggapalooza and introducing the new and exciting Cane-o-rama! Saloon, 9-11 P.M. Free admission.

Saturday, June 24: GLBT Pride in Loring Park. Visit (or hang out at) the Leather Pride booth. 9 A.M.-6 P.M. Free admission. Or, for something 100% Sensible, and a bargain as well: MSDB CPR/First Aid Classes are kink-friendly and include Red Cross certification. 9 A.M.-6 P.M. (CPR 9 A.M.-1 P.M., First Aid 2-6 P.M.) $50 tuition (or $30 for MSDB members or with your 2006 Minnesota Leather Pride dog tag). Classes are also available separately. Advance reservation required, visit <www.MSDB-MN.org> for full details. (Payment must be received by June 15.)

Sunday, June 25: Pride March. March with the Leather Pride flag. Meet at 3rd St. and Hennepin Ave. at 10 A.M.—parade steps off at 11 A.M. Then spend the day in Loring Park, and be sure to drop by the Leather Pride booth. Free admission.

Organizational sponsors for this year’s Minnesota Leather Pride celebration are Athenor, Atons of Minneapolis, Erotic Deviance, Knights of Leather, Leather Leadership Conference XI, MiN-KY (Minnesota Kinky Youth), Minnesota Bondage, Minnesota Storm Patrol, MPX (Minnesota Power Exchange), MSDB (Minnesota Stocks, Debentures & Bonds), NSGRA (North Star Gay Rodeo Association), TIES and Whipsters.

Also during Pride Weekend The Minneapolis Eagle will be presenting Scorch Fireball VII—“Confessions on a Parking Lot.” The beer garden opens on Friday, June 23 and closes at 2 a.m. on Monday, June 26. Pansy Division performs at 8 P.M. Saturday evening. On Sunday evening Brat Pack Radio warms up the audience at 6 P.M., followed by an encore performance by Pansy Division at 8 P.M.

The Last Two Centuries of SM

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #287, May 26, 2006)

The image was arresting. On the screen, in black and white, a naked woman was bent over a fainting couch while a naked man was poised to swing a switch at her buttocks.

What made the image more arresting was the fact that it was from the 1800s. And the man was, as they might have said in the nineteenth century, in full arousal.

Thus began “History of the Development of Sadomasochism in 20th Century America,” one of the final presentations of the tenth annual Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) in New York in April.

One of the presenters was Robert Bienvenu, Ph.D., a sociologist who wrote his doctoral thesis on the development of SM as a cultural style in the nineteenth and twenties centuries. The other presenter was Chuck Renslow, a man who lived (and made) some of the history Bienvenu included in that doctoral thesis.

In the first part of the presentation, Bienvenu described SM practices of the nineteenth century and how SM practices changed in the early twentieth century. Nineteenth-century SM imagery was built around “soft,” essentially feminine materials such as silk, lace and fur. Participants in SM scenes either wore everyday clothes or were nude.

Nineteenth-century SM implements were simple, natural and uncomplicated—canes, switches, whips, or birch rods. SM practices of the time were narrowly focused (on the buttocks, for example), ritualistic and predictable (starting with ritualistically exposing the buttocks), and endlessly repetitive (flagellating the buttocks, then flagellating them some more). Creativity and spontaneity were not the objects of nineteenth-century SM.

By the 1920s, SM had changed to a predominantly “hard,” masculine aesthetic. SM imagery of the time revolved around polished leather, latex and metals. When SM participants in the images wore anything, it tended to be specialized fetish attire, following an aesthetic that came to be known as “bizarre.” Photographic backgrounds were urban and industrial. SM implements and situations showed a broadened focus and increasing creativity, ingenuity, spontaneity, complexity and unpredictability.

Bienvenu discussed three major categories of SM culture in the twentieth century: European Fetish (c. 1928), American Fetish (c. 1934-1938), and Gay Leather (c. 1950).

The European Fetish style, which first became identifiable in 1920s Germany, quickly spread to France and Britain, and then around the globe as far as India and Australia.

The American Fetish style started in New York City in the 1930s and also had outposts in California. Originally an offshoot of European Fetish, it soon developed its own distinctly American look.

Both European and American Fetish were predominantly heterosexual, and the two styles shared many elements: bizarre costumes, uniforms, high-heeled shoes and boots, long black gloves, piercing and tattooing, and every sort of sexual apparatus imaginable. Practices included elaborate role play, cross-dressing, female domination, wrestling girls and human ponies.

Twenty years after the development of the American Fetish style, and with essentially no connection to either European Fetish or American Fetish, Gay Leather developed. It was at this point that Bienvenu turned the presentation over to Renslow, who shared his first-person account of leather’s development and history.

Renslow founded Kris Studios and began photographing and publishing male “physique” or “beefcake” photos in 1950. He and his lover, Dom Orejudos (the leather artist known as Etienne), opened Chicago’s legendary Gold Coast leather bar eight years later. In 1979, they founded the International Mr. Leather Contest, of which Renslow is still Executive Producer (and which is in full swing as this issue of Lavender hits the streets). Following Orejudos’ death, Renslow and former Drummer Magazine publisher Tony DeBlase were co-creators of the Leather Archives & Museum in 1991.

Renslow told of being brought up on obscenity charges, and subsequently acquitted. He told of the original group of Chicago leathermen and their search for a place to hang out. They finally found a club that welcomed them, the Gold Coast Show Lounge. Renslow eventually bought the business, shortening the name to “Gold Coast.” The rest, as they say, is history.

When the presentation was over, I was in awe. We have a history—a history that’s fascinating. But because it has been so hidden over the years, most people don’t know it exists.

There’s strength and power in discovering and uncovering that history. No matter what nasty names mainstream society may call us, we now know there have been other people through the years with the same feelings and interests we have.

Knowing we have a history makes it harder for us to accept being marginalized by mainstream society. Knowing we have a history makes it easier to carry on the fight for our own sexual freedom, and for everyone else’s as well.

That’s why this presentation was so affecting. That’s why the Leather Archives & Museum is so important. That’s why studies like Bienvenu’s are so valuable. That’s why Renslow and his contemporaries, and all the other people who have blazed leather/BDSM/fetish trails down through the years, are such treasures.

Bienvenu is currently at work on a scholarly book, “American Fetish,” to be published by Duke University Press. His doctoral thesis can be downloaded as a PDF file, in either compact or expanded multimedia versions, from <www.AmericanFetish.net>.

Marriage, Family, Sex: Fantasy vs. Reality

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #286, May 12, 2006)

Sexual fantasy can be pleasurable. Fantasy applied to politics and public policy is disastrous.

PHOTO: Matt Foreman delivering this speech at LLC X.

Matt Foreman, Executive Director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), recently gave the closing keynote address at Leather Leadership Conference X in New York City. Foreman started by comparing some right-wing fantasies about marriage, families and sexuality with contemporary reality. He talked about the negative consequences of having public policy determined by these fantasies. He analyzed how the GLBT community unwittingly helped create this situation. Finally, he suggested what we can do about it now.

Fantasy: Marriage is “until death do us part.” Reality: 43% of all first marriages end within 15 years, and the rate goes up to 52% for women under 45.

Fantasy: Adultery is an aberration. Reality: According to two recent studies, 69% of those surveyed knew of husbands who had committed adultery; 60% knew of adulterous wives.

Fantasy: People who enjoy so-called kinky sex and porn are a small, twisted minority. Reality: An ABC News poll found 60% of sexually-active Americans say they have had sex outdoors or in a public place; 30% say they and their partner have watched sexually explicit videos; 20% have looked at porn websites; nearly one-third of all single men have been involved in three-ways.

Fantasy: Sex with a “prostitute” is extreme fringe behavior. Reality: 30% of single men 30 years or older have paid for sex.

These fantasies, rather than reality, are driving public policy —with profoundly harmful consequences.

Millions of tax dollars have been taken away from HIV and sex education programs that have been proven to work. That money has instead been spent on “abstinence-only” programs. Evidence is growing that participants in these programs are more likely both to engage in unsafe sex and to become accidentally pregnant.

Another example: A new vaccine offers almost 100% protection against the human papilloma virus (HPV) that causes cervical cancer in 10,000 U.S. women each year, killing 4,000. Yet the FDA might not approve it because of pressure from the Christian right, which believes the vaccine promotes promiscuity. Foreman noted this should give us some sense of how people would react if we ever got an HIV vaccine.

How did we get to this sorry state? While mentioning this country’s puritanical heritage and the disproportionate influence of right-wing “Christians” on public discourse, Foreman focused on his analysis of how the LGBT community unwittingly helped to create the situation.

Our community’s modern struggle started as the “gay liberation” movement. Calling ourselves “gay” connoted that we were and are complete human beings—more than just sex acts, which is the image that “homosexual” conjures up.

At our founding we were part of a larger social justice/sexual freedom/social change movement. But we quickly became a movement focusing on specific rights—the right to be free from job and housing discrimination, to be protected from hate crimes, to be able to adopt, and now to marry.

But in focusing on specific rights, we sanitized our lives. We took the “sex” out of homosexual and stopped advancing ourselves as complete human beings. We reduced our movement to seeking specific equal rights, not complete equality based on shared humanity.

And, since we were focusing predominantly on gay-specific rights, we inadvertently isolated ourselves from other communities and causes such as immigrants’ rights and reproductive, racial and economic justice.

The advent of HIV/AIDS meant that the very essence of gay liberation—sexual freedom—was portrayed as killing us. Our opponents and many in our own community saw and still see sex as the culprit, not a virus. Not only did we stop celebrating sexual freedom, we ran away from it.

Disconnecting our sexual lives from the rest of our lives for political purposes has led us to some fantasies of our own. Fantasy: If “those people” (meaning leather people, butch dykes and drag queens) would just go away, society would finally accept us. Reality, according to Foreman: “It doesn’t matter how much you emulate straight society. Our opponents don’t care whether you’re a good gay or a bad gay—they hate you because of who you have sex with, pure and simple.

“And they certainly don’t care if the sex you’re having is vanilla or kinky. It’s all the same to them.”

What can we do about this? Foreman suggested three ways to turn the tide:

1. We need to push a change in society around sex and to break down the facade, and all the ugly laws, policies and hypocrisy that come with it.

2. We must consistently and vigorously call out the sexual hypocrisy of our opponents. “The more those most responsible for propping up the facade are exposed, the quicker it will fall.”

3. Most importantly, we need to come out for sexual freedom in our daily lives. Foreman concluded his speech by saying, “This does not, as some people fear, mean that we need to talk about specific acts or scenes. Rather, it’s talking about our lives in a genuine and honest way. Because if we can’t, if we don’t, believe me—no one else will.”