Humor: The International Mr. Saliva Contest

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #206, April 18, 2003)

Of all the many and varied leather titles out there, one has been quietly distinguishing itself since 1991—or was it 1992? Whichever—one of those two years saw the birth of the International Mr. Saliva contest as part of the Pantheon of Leather community service awards. It was started by a group of international titleholders as a spoof of leather contests and titles; Pantheon of Leather founder (and Leather Journal publisher) Dave Rhodes was its first honoree/victim. In the ensuing years it has taken on a life of its own, successfully resisting all efforts to kill it.

There are several things about International Mr. Saliva (or “the Saliva contest” for short, since the initials IMS are already in use by International Market Square in Minneapolis) that make it unique among contests and titles. It is one of the few titles, if not the only one, named after a bodily fluid, although the organizers had the good taste to choose a bodily fluid that is both pansexual and at least somewhat acceptable to mention in polite society.

For the past several years the contest has been co-emceed by Kay Hallanger and Frank Nowicki, both former Saliva titleholders. Hallanger notes that “The Saliva contest is a true international title, although it has never been won by anyone outside the United States. It has, however, been won by someone from California.”

Also noteworthy is the fact that in its comparatively short history the Saliva contest has evolved faster in its breadth of contestants than any other contest. Today it is the first, and still the only, pan-species event. According to Hallanger, “Our contestants have been various animals, including but not limited to homo sapiens, and plants. This contest is open to any gender as well as the genderless and the polygendered. We are open to organic and inorganic forms. We are even open to new guard and old guard, as long as the latter has a sense of humor.”

This is not just window dressing, allowing different species and forms to compete but offering them no real chance of winning. The Saliva contest’s inclusiveness is genuine, as evidenced by the fact that several non-human contestants have won the competition or at least come close. The first runner-up of the 1995 contest in Houston was The Doberman, and Hallanger says he lost “only because when we tried to put the sash on him he kept biting, and that just wasn’t what we were into.”

Actually, only one plant has ever competed, but Plant (a stage name only—no one knows what its real name was) competed gamely for two years before finally capturing the title during its third competition in 2001. Plant appeared on stage decked in Christmas-tree lights and occasionally sprayed water (at least we think it was water) on other unsuspecting contestants. (Your humble columnist was a contestant against Plant in 2000 and was cautioned not to bring my camera onstage unless it was waterproof.) The first year Plant competed it received stiff competition from the inorganic contestant Chair.

Some people have stated on numerous occasions, always incorrectly, that the Saliva contest has no rules. This myth has started because the rules are changed each year so contestants can’t prepare for the contest. Actually, according to Hallanger, “We prefer not to use the word ‘rule’ for the contest, because rules are very harsh and arbitrary, and we kind of change them as we go. So we only have one rule but we have several guidelines.” Here are some of those guidelines:

• Contestants are drawn from a small pool of living things who either detest this title and all it represents, or from others who are willing to suck up to the judges for any title whatsoever.

• To save time, the winner is selected prior to the contest, and then other contestants are selected to fill out the evening. Contestant selection is generally non-consensual and without prior notice. Contestants need not be present in order to compete.

• The winner need not be a contestant. “In fact,” says Hallanger, “we have found that it saves the winner’s energy if they don’t have to compete—we just let the others wear themselves out.”

• There are always two judges, both former International Mr. Saliva winners. Olympic scoring is used, in which the high and low scores are thrown out, which makes things easier for the tallymaster.

Those are some of the contest’s guidelines. The one firm rule is called the Nowicki rule, and it was introduced after Nowicki’s one-year reign: “If the winner takes the title seriously, and attempts to do fundraisers or appearances, the winner shall be relieved of the title and their name stricken forever from all future mention.”

The Saliva contest continues to be part of the Pantheon of Leather/Olympus Leather Contest weekend. At this year’s event, after the above guidelines and rule were read as an introduction to the contest, members of the audience were rolling in the aisles with laughter —until several of them were summoned to the stage to compete. (Those who didn’t want to compete had left the auditorium by then.) The one and only judging event was the “lick event,” in which contestants had to lick co-emcee Nowicki’s armpits and were graded on how well they licked them.

When all the licking and judging was done, this year’s lucky winner was Mr. Southeast Drummer 1991 Vance Reger, who created this year’s rubber-chicken sash not knowing that he himself would be wearing it. Reger’s response: “I am totally underwhelmed.”

PHOTO: International Mr. Saliva 2003 Vance Reger, who crafted this year’s lovely rubber-chicken sash never suspecting that he, as the winner, would be forced to wear it.

Gregg White: Activism, Swedish and Leather

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #205, April 4, 2003)

Gregg White, the new Mr. Minneapolis Eagle and this year’s Minnesota contestant in the International Mr. Leather (IML) contest, has always set his sights high: “When I was a kid,” he says, “the job I wanted without fail—and everything else would be failure—was secretary-general of the United Nations.” (He lists Dag Hammerskjold, the second secretary-general of the UN, as one of his heroes.)

Today, White is still “pretty driven to get as much done as I possibly can—that’s why I have three jobs.” Understand those three jobs—Director of Development for OutFront Minnesota, Swedish-language instructor; and evening manager at The Minneapolis Eagle—and you understand much about White.

For over eight years White has been the full-time Director of Development for OutFront Minnesota, the state’s leading GLBT political and social-service organization. “When I first started it was still the Gay and Lesbian Community Action Council, and it was 90% a direct-service social agency, which was appropriate when it was founded. Over the years it has moved to being more of a political and community-building organization.”

White says that the agency accomplished much for the GLBT community over the years, but “one of the things they did not do in those days was build a donor base. They didn’t have the money to hire a development director, and if you don’t have a development director it’s hard to raise money. The year before I started there they raised just over $17,000 from individuals.”

Now, with White as development director, the annual amount of money raised by OutFront Minnesota is in the $350,000 range. “When you have $350,000 that you didn’t have before, you can do a whole lot more for your community. We’ve changed names, we’ve changed our look” (one of White’s responsibilities at OutFront Minnesota is corporate identity), “we are much more visible, we’re much more participatory. We have a gazillion ‘touches’ every year.” (White explains that in organizational parlance a “touch” is a contact with an individual.) “But it’s a chicken-and-egg thing. How did we get 2,000 people at the State Capitol for the OutFront GLBT Lobby Day? It takes a lot of work and a lot of money.”

Raising money for GLBT community causes has long been an avocation for White. “Way back, when I lived on Marshall Avenue in St. Paul, I always threw an autumnal equinox party every year. And this new thing called GRID was coming along, Gay-Related Immune Deficiency. The Minnesota AIDS Project had just been formed, and I said, ‘You know, guys, they are dirt poor. You come to my house for a party, you can throw ten bucks in the pot.’ People thought I was crazy—nobody was doing fundraising like that within the gay community back then—but they contributed, and in those days a thousand bucks for the Minnesota AIDS Project was a hell of a lot of money.” White later developed and hosted a series of monthly fundraisers for the Minnesota AIDS Project at local nightspot Norma Jean’s.

White’s knack for fundraising was taken in a new direction in 1985, when White took the newly-developed HIV test and tested positive. Aside from prompting him to get in shape and run his first marathon, it inspired him to take the visionary step of founding Philanthrofund, the third GLBT community foundation in the nation. Donations to Philanthrofund are tax-deductible and, according to White, ensure that the donation will “forever, in perpetuity, help the GLBT community of Minnesota. Every single GLBT person in Minnesota should make some kind of recognition of Philanthrofund in their will. I can tell you clearly and easily, Philanthrofund Foundation is the thing in my life I’m by far most proud of.” For his long-time community activism White was named the first Minnesota recipient of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Leadership Award (now called the Wavemaker Award).

White’s second job as a Swedish-language instructor is consistent with his having adopted Swedish as a second language and heritage. White was born Irish Catholic (“with a little bit of German”) but after a year of high school in Sweden as an exchange student he returned there to study Scandinavian political science and Swedish ethnology at Uppsala University. He also holds a degree from the University of Minnesota in Scandinavian languages and literature (with minors in international relations and technical theater).

If you see White working his third job at the Eagle, and you notice the yellow and blue stripes on his black leather pants, don’t jump to the wrong conclusion—the stripes don’t stand for hankie colors. Those are the colors of the Swedish flag, and the pants are similar to what Swedish motorcycle cops wear. (He got the pants at Mr. S. in San Francisco twelve years ago and is justifiably proud of the fact that he can still wear them.)

One of White’s many ambitions is “to move back to Sweden and live there for another two or three years. I’d love to have my current job, development director, but for RFSL, the Swedish equivalent of OutFront Minnesota. Unfortunately, given the Swedish system, they don’t understand fundraising as a whole. You’d have to teach the nation what fundraising is about—like, ‘Why make a charitable contribution, doesn’t the state take care of that already?’ So that’s a challenge in that regard.”

When asked what he would bring to the IML title if he won, White’s response was “Experience. You know, I’m 50—I have wisdom. It is true that you gain wisdom as you get older. You get it the hard way, but you get it. I’ve also been around the block in a lot of ways. I’ve been HIV-positive for seventeen years now, I’ve seen people come and go.

“I have a very strong sense of where I feel the community is going. We had the sixties when we were all going for sexual liberation—straight and gay. We had the seventies and eighties when we were fighting for legal civil rights, but we now realize that’s not enough. What we are now doing is, we are community-forming. We’re doing the exact same thing that the Italians did twenty years after they arrived in New York—we’re building a community and an identity. And that’s the next step. A lot of us haven’t quite seen that yet, and I hope I can help communicate that idea—that we have a history, we have a future, and that we are now community building in a big way, becoming an integral part of American society.”

Mr. Mpls. Eagle Contest 2003

(Article published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #204, March 21, 2003)

If you thought of competing in this year’s Mr. Minneapolis Eagle contest but then decided not to, start kicking yourself (and also start making plans to enter next year’s contest). You missed a chance to be onstage with five great contestants, each of whom thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

The Minneapolis Eagle chose its representative for 2003 (and Minnesota’s representative at this year’s International Mr. Leather contest) on Sunday evening, March 2. Proudly sponsored by local chat line 1-800GAYLIVE, the contest crowded the bar to capacity with a lively, enthusiastic and supportive audience.

This year’s contest followed the same basic format as previous years. On Saturday afternoon the judges got their chance to privately interview each contestant. Then on Sunday night the contestants were introduced during the traditional “keg walk,” and were then judged in a question-and-answer segment. For the final competition category each contestant presented an 60-second erotic reading (quick but very effective).

Scoring for this year’s contest, like last year’s, was very close. Joe Alegrett, owner of Penetrations Piercings & Body Designs in Eau Claire, Wis. took second runner-up honors; Chris Boudewyns was first runner-up; and at the climax of the evening Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2002 Wayne Butzer passed the title to his successor, Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2003 Gregg White.

Minneapolis Eagle owner Ed Hopkins was very happy with the way the contest went: “It’s usually nerve-wracking leading up to the contest—it’s always a busy night at the bar and I’m usually paranoid about technical problems.” He was pleased, and somewhat relieved, that this year’s contest was “flawless—the contestants, the judges, the emcee [Brian Anderson, manager of The Minneapolis Eagle and The Bolt], and the crowd were all wonderful.”

The contestants felt the same way. Alegrett seemed pleased that “there was no competitive backstabbing. All the contestants seemed relaxed—I think we all thought that we might at least get a new friend out of the experience.” He had nothing but praise for his fellow contestants: “These guys were great! I couldn’t have asked for a better group of gentlemen to complete alongside.”

Contestant Ric Krohn also enjoyed the experience. “It was my first contest, it was a totally new experience, and it left me with a good feeling. I met people I’ve seen before but not had a chance to meet.” Krohn said his goal was “just to compete, to see what I could do.” What prompted him to enter? “I had thought about it since last year, and when we were in the bar a couple of weeks before the contest my friends encouraged me to enter.”

White summed up the contest by saying, “This was one of the few contests I’ve seen where no matter which of the contestants would have won, I would have been proud of our community. All the contestants were pleasant and encouraging to each other. And being on stage was awesome because the crowd was so supportive.”

As the new Mr. Minneapolis Eagle 2003, White will compete in this year’s 25th-anniversary edition of the International Mr. Leather (IML) Contest, which will be held in Chicago over Memorial Day weekend. (IML contest information is available at <www.imrl.com>.)

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Leather Activities to Fill Your Datebook

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #202, February 21, 2003)

Get out your calendar and start marking! Starting this very weekend and continuing through the next few months, various organizations within the Twin Cities leather community will be presenting all kinds of interesting get-togethers. If you’re a Twin-Cities-based reader you’ll find an amazing array of activities right in your own backyard; if you’re not, you’ll find several activities here that would justify a trip to beautiful Minnesota.

Happening Soon:

Friday, February 21, 7-9 PM: The Black Guard of Minneapolis is having a beer bust and taco feed at Trikkx in St Paul—five dollars for all the beer you can drink, tacos for a buck each. Buy a balloon for a buck, bust it and win prizes including calendars, videos, candy and birdhouses.

Tuesday. Feb. 25, 7 PM: Pride Alive, the Queer Men’s Initiative of the Minnesota AIDS Project presents a discussion on “The Future of Leather.” Pride Alive isn’t really a leather organization, but it has been sponsoring a great three-part discussion series about leather. Part 1 (Jan. 28) was about leather history, and Part 2 (Feb. 11) dealt with risk and responsibility as it applies to leather and the dungeon. Whether or not you attended either of the first two sessions, you’re invited to what is sure to be a lively discussion on where the leather community is going. Minnesota AIDS Project office, 1400 Park Ave. S., Mpls. FFI contact William Grier, Health Educator @mnaidsproject.org.

Saturday, March 1, 10:30 AM-2 PM: MSDB (Minnesota Stocks, Debentures and Bonds) present “Rules of Engagement.” Picking up where their popular discussion on dungeon etiquette left off, this panel discussion will cover relationships with neighbors, co-workers, family, police, civil courts and others. Topics to be covered include: how to approach your children, loved ones, and significant others about your lifestyle; the dynamics of throwing a public party; civil law (including custody issues); how we relate to the police, the media, our supervisor, postal inspectors, our physicians and our spiritual advisors; and what’s expected of us as members of the local community. Class attendees are encouraged to bring a lunch—dessert and beverages will be provided. For further information and to order tickets visit msdb-mn.org or e-mail events@msdb-mn.org.

Saturday, March 22: MSDB presents another in its series of kink-aware CPR/First Aid certification classes. The CPR class runs from 9 AM-1PM; First Aid class is 2-6 PM. Check MDSB’s website (listed above) for more information.

RUNS AND WEEKEND EVENTS

April 4-6: Black Frost 26, the annual run and fundraiser presented by the Black Guard of Minneapolis. This year’s theme is “B-B-B . . . Back to Basic Black,” and the run show will feature members of the Black Guard performing some of their classic numbers—as the run brochure says, “OLD but still entertaining”—as well as some new surprises. Also featured throughout the weekend will be the traditional camaraderie, games and cocktail parties. Fundraiser beneficiaries are The Aliveness Project and Every Penny Counts. Host hotel, and also the site of Saturday evening’s banquet and show, is the Quality Inn in downtown Minneapolis. For more information and to download a run application, visit www.blackguardmpls.com. (The club is looking for groups, organizations and individuals interested in hosting cocktail parties—contact the Black Guard via their website).

April 4-6: Spring Sting/Midwest Fetish Expo. Yes, it’s the same weekend as the Black Guard’s run, and also the same weekend as “Beat Me In St. Louis,” another BDSM/fetish expo. But with the amount of work and planning that producer Wolfhold Productions has lavished on this event, it should be quite successful and attract a good crowd. This pansexual weekend of fun, camaraderie, learning and dungeon play will be held in what is described as “a beautiful, newly built urban destination resort” with every amenity imaginable. (midnight skinny-dipping, anyone?) An assortment of workshops and discussions will be presented on Saturday and Sunday; among the nationally-known presenters will be bullwhip expert Robert Dante and noted author Fetish Diva Midori. A safe and monitored dungeon environment will be available both Friday and Saturday nights. The Fetish Ball on Saturday night is open to the public, and during the Fetish Ball the large vendor area will be open to the public as well. For more information,visit www.midwestfetish.com, e-mail events@midwestfetish.com or write to Wolfhold Productions, Willernie, MN. (Wolfhold Productions also plans a “Snowbound” event for November.)

June 6-8: Knights of Leather Tournament 15—Little Dungeon on the Prairie. Rope ’em and ride ’em, says the brochure. Escape to a private camp within a park and enjoy seminars, panel discussions and four (maybe five) fully-equipped dungeons, open 24 hours a day. Five fabulous meals (catered by Rainbow Creations) are included, as are continuous snacks and nonalcoholic beverages. For more information, to register and pay electronically or to download a run application visit www.knightsofleather.org. Substantial discounts for early registration (biggest discount if you register by March 6).

July 17-19: Atons of Minneapolis Campout. The Atons host a run every other year; in years without runs, like this one, the Atons hold a summer campout instead—a no-nonsense weekend in the woods with a bunch of leathermen. For more information visit www.atons.net or call the Atons HotLine.

Quite a list, isn’t it? And there’s more—space doesn’t permit listing all the recurring events put on by the various clubs and organizations. Watch for information about them in a future column.

Sexual Fulfillment: What Two Retired Lutheran Bishops Have to Say on the Matter, and Why You Should Care

(Book review published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #201, February 7, 2003)

Sexual Fulfillment (for Single and Married, Straight and Gay, Young and Old)

By Herbert W. Chilstrom and Lowell O. Erdahl

Softcover, 182 pages, $13.99

Published by Augsburg Press (www.augsburgfortress.org)

Good news! According to two retired Lutheran bishops, it’s not a sin to be gay and it’s not a sin for gay people to have sex. Well, it’s not necessarily a sin for them to have sex, anyway.

Two retired Lutheran bishops have had the courage to write a book that frankly discusses aspects of sex and sexual relationships (including same-sex relationships) rarely addressed by organized religion. For this alone, they should be applauded.

It might be easy and tempting for many readers of Lavender to dismiss this book, and indeed the entire controversy about the church’s views of sexuality, as old news and irrelevant. But change doesn’t come from ignoring a problem. Rather than ignoring the controversy, members of the GLBT community and other sexual minorities would be much smarter to seize the opportunity created by this book and get involved in the discussion, so that their voices and viewpoints can be and are heard. The publication of this book represents major progress in the struggle for understanding and acceptance of GLBT people in church and in society, and it might never have been written were it not for the involvement of the early members of Lutherans Concerned and what Chilstrom and Erdahl refer to as other “Christ-confessing gay and lesbian persons.”

The two authors have for many years wielded much influence within the Lutheran Church. When the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) was formed in 1987, Herbert Chilstrom was elected its first presiding bishop and served in that capacity until 1995. Lowell Erdahl was bishop of the St. Paul area synod of the ELCA from 1988 to 1996. Both authors had long careers as Lutheran pastors before becoming bishops, and the style of the book’s writing—including the question-and-answer sessions at the end of every chapter—is more reminiscent of a joint pastoral counseling session than of two bishops pontificating.

Much of what the authors write seems at first very traditional and conservative—exactly what one would expect from two retired Lutheran bishops. The surprise comes when one looks past how they sound and looks at what they’re actually saying. Some of their assertions and conclusions, while perhaps quaintly old-fashioned for many Lavender readers, could be considered revolutionary in other circles—to religious fundamentalists, scandalous if not blasphemous. Since its publication the book has sparked much controversy among Lutherans of every stripe.

The authors’ central conviction is a belief that sex is a gift from God, intended for our good, our joy and our well-being. (Martin Luther would approve.) The authors spend the first two chapters of the book discussing “life-giving” sex that is fulfilling, healthy, joyful and a blessing, and “life-degrading” sex that is harmful, predatory, shallow or superficial, and that leads to unfulfilling or painful relationships. (The authors prefer the terms “life-giving” and “life-degrading” to more emotionally loaded words such as “right,” “wrong,” and “sinful.”)

In Chapter 3 they discuss sexual fulfillment in the context of traditional heterosexual marriage. Then it’s off to the minefields, discussing in subsequent chapters sexual fulfillment among single people (pre-marriage, never married, divorced, widowed, celibate); couples who are living together but not married; people in same-sex relationships; and, perhaps most shocking of all, the elderly (Viagra, anyone?). For someone in the church to even acknowledge that people in these categories might be entitled to some sort of sexual fulfillment constitutes a revolutionary act.

For gay people, the good news is that the authors declare their beliefs that being gay is a discovery, not a choice, and that sexual orientation, like sex itself, is a gift from God, and it would be wrong to reject it or try to change it. This is a viewpoint that has been arrived at by the authors literally over decades, and they describe their process of moving from having little understanding of sexual orientation to “loving the sinner but hating the sin” to their present-day stance:

“We affirm life-giving sexual fulfillment for gays and lesbians and welcome the creation of responsible, committed same-sex relationships that are the moral and emotional equivalent of marriage. We encourage those in such relationships to live together with the same kind of mutual love, mutual respect, mutual openness and mutual faithfulness that we have envisioned for heterosexual marriage.”

Throughout the book the authors hold to a very high standard for what constitutes “life-giving” sexual expression—a standard that many readers may feel to be either unattainable or undesirable—and many readers will disagree with the authors’ classification of certain other types of sexual expression as “life-degrading.” (Examples: They don’t appear to look favorably on either SM or polyamory.)

But while Chilstrom and Erdahl might make some severe pronouncements in the book, their manner of making them is unfailingly compassionate rather than judgmental. They thoroughly explain their views and how they have come to feel the way they do, and they acknowledge that not everyone will see everything their way.

Whether you agree or disagree with them, however, reading this book will make you think about these issues and where you stand on them. The book seems to have been written not to provide simple answers to complex questions, but rather to admit to the complexity of those questions and get a discussion going. At that level Chilstrom and Erdahl succeed admirably. In effect, they have invited the GLBT community into the dialogue. Now it’s up to us to accept the invitation and join the discussion.

Piercings By Cupid

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #201, February 7, 2003)

Valentine’s Day and leather go very well together. In fact, the combination is a better fit than you may have realized. Think of all the symbolism that Valentine’s Day involves.

First there’s Cupid, a master piercer if ever there was one. Cupid, the Roman god of love, was the son of Venus, the Roman goddess of love and beauty. Venus was the Roman version of the Greek goddess Aphrodite—that’s where the word “aphrodisiac” comes from. In the same fashion, Cupid was the Roman version of the Greek god Eros, from whose name comes the word “erotic”—and for whom the Atons of Minneapolis have named their annual springtime “Eros” parties.

Next: The symbol of love that’s on every Valentine card—a heart—is also a prominent part of the leather pride flag. There are very few other flags in the world that incorporate a heart. How few, you ask? I recently visited a website called Flags of the World (<www.crwflags.com/fotw/flags/>), which is paradise to anyone into vexillology. A search of 32,000 images of flags reveals a mere 23 that have the keyword “heart” associated with them. On further investigation, the heart-shaped thing on several of the flags is really a leaf or a lily pad. Many of the other flags that include a heart in the design use it as a representation of being “at the heart of” something, the center or crossroads of a geographical region. (Example: The Canadian city of Chilliwack has a flag with four green hearts representing that Chilliwack is “the green heart of British Columbia.”) Disqualify the historical flags that are no longer used, and the leather pride flag emerges as the most widely-flown modern-day flag incorporating a heart. Of all those 32,000 flags, the leather pride flag’s use of a big, bold, unabashed red heart pretty much stands alone. (Oh, in case you didn’t already know, vexillology is the study of flags.)

Now, what about the man who gave the day its name? According to various legends, Saint Valentine was a physician/healer and also a (reputedly chaste) Christian priest who was executed on February 14, 269 A.D. Emperor Claudius II was the leader of the Roman Empire at the time and was having trouble getting Roman men to join his army. He reasoned that they didn’t want to leave their wives and families; therefore, he canceled all marriages and engagements. Valentine, however, continued to marry couples in secret, for which he was jailed and ultimately martyred.

More legend: Valentine was put in prison while he awaited execution. His jailer had a blind daughter whose sight was restored by Valentine. They became friends, and when Valentine was executed he left a note to the jailer’s daughter thanking her for her friendship and support. He signed it, “From your Valentine.” (The legend doesn’t say how old the jailer’s daughter was, so we can only hope that the first Valentine message ever sent was not from a priest to an underage child.)

That note signed “From your Valentine” might have remained obscure were it not for what happened 200 years later. The custom of the Roman empire at the time was to start the Feast of Lupercalia honoring Juno, the goddess of “feverish” (febris) love, on February 15. A lottery was held where men drew women’s names, and the women became the men’s feasting and sexual companions for the next year. (Doesn’t sound terribly consensual for the women, does it?) The early Christian church didn’t approve of such pagan eroticism and hijacked the festival by making February 14 the Feast Day of Saint Valentine—in effect substituting romance for eroticism. No longer would a man get a woman because he drew her name, but he would be allowed to send her a “valentine” note asking if she was interested in him.

So, what does it all mean? Given Saint Valentine’s track record of opposing those who oppose love, I’d be willing to bet that if he were alive today he’d thumb his nose at the Church and perform same-sex marriages. He would also probably understand that love comes in many flavors and that not all of the flavors are to everyone’s liking. But love in any flavor is still love and deserves to be honored as such. So, regardless of whether your preferred flavor is vanilla or something more exotic, Happy Valentine’s Day!

Chicago Leatherfest happens Valentine’s Day Weekend

This Valentine’s Day weekend (Feb. 14-16), leatherfolk from across the nation and around the world will meet in Chicago for a variety of events. Foremost among them will be thirteenth annual Pantheon of Leather Community Service Awards on Saturday, Feb. 15. (This year the Atons of Minneapolis are nominated in the category of “Small Event of the Year” for last year’s thirtieth-anniversary run.) Also on Saturday is the Mr. Cell Block/Male Hide Leatherman 2003 Contest, and on Sunday is the Mr. and Ms Olympus Leather 2003 Contest.

Also taking place Valentine’s Day weekend is My Vicious Valentine, another notorious Chicago event back for its sixth edition. The Christian-conservative group Concerned Women of America managed to get last year’s Vicious Valentine 5 evicted from one host hotel but was unsuccessful in getting them evicted from a second hotel, and the event was consequently a great success. The theme of this year’s Vicious Valentine VI (note the Roman numerals) is “Caesar’s Revenge,” and the event will even include—you guessed it—a Lupercalia party.