Atons Holiday Fundraiser 2003

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #224, December 26, 2003)

In the spirit of the holiday season, here are some photos of the recent Holiday Fundraiser presented by The Atons of Minneapolis at The Saloon on December 7. It turned out to be a very successful event, netting over $4,000 and 750 pounds of food for the benefit of the Aliveness Project’s Holiday Basket Program.

PC070035.JPG: Glen Edberg, left, and Jim Courtney, right, holding some of the 750 lbs. of food people brought to the fundraiser.

IMG_1611-vi.jpg: Atons President B.D. Chambers, left, and Aliveness Project representative Randy Hornstine, right.

PC070001.JPG: This year’s silent auction of leather goods and other merchandise was the best ever in terms of the amount of money raised. Here, some shoppers (Peter Kelly, Roger Payne and Doug Waalen) inspect the merchandise.

PC070014.JPG: Left to right: Frank Kruk, Ed Skjaret and Matt Wambach looking at the auction merchandise. This year’s auction of leather goods and other merchandise was the best ever in terms of the amount of money raised.

PC070005.JPG: Some of the silent auction merchandise. This year’s auction of leather goods and other merchandise was the best ever in terms of the amount of money raised.

PC070007,8,9.JPG: Barber Vince McGhee gives Frank Mlakar a buzzcut.

PC070044.JPG: Ron Joki gets his boots blacked by David Page.

PC070020.TIF: Photographer Paul Nixdorf, right, was on hand to take pictures of leathermen with a hunky Santa (or with their head poking out of the giant Christmas stocking in the center of the picture). Keith Cheetham is shown posing with Santa.

PC070011,12,13.JPG: North Star Gay Rodeo Association (NSGRA) royalty at the Atons Holiday Fundraiser: Left, Steve Kussatz, Mr. NSGRA 2004; right, Lady Stevens, Miss NSGRA 2004.

PC070017,18.JPG: Left to right: Ed Skjaret, Matt Wambach and Frank Kruk.

PC070022.JPG: Brian Spence and David Anderson.

PC070024,28.JPG: Brian Spence and David Anderson inspect the new Minneapolis Eagle calendar.

PC070029.JPG: Left to right: Randy Hornstine and Sherman Ford.

PC070033.JPG: Left to right: Peter Kelly and Roger Payne.

PC070037,38.JPG: Members of the Minnesota Storm Patrol: left to right, Joe Siedschlag (Sergeant at Arms), Jack Roach (Vice President), Jim Randall (Road Captain).

PC070041,42.JPG: Doug Waalen and Louie Rios.

PC070048.JPG: Ken Hoffmann.

PC070052.JPG: Michael Ballard.

PC070053.JPG: Black Guard member Karl Keturi.

PC070055.JPG: Paul Nicholson.

PC070057.JPG: Left to right: Kevin Sitter, Robert Kerr and Atons President B.D. Chambers.

PC070058,59.JPG: Left to right: Andrew Bertke, Matt Grimes, Kellen Slagle, Kelley Herridge.

The Christmas Letter I Can’t Send

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Out of the Closet or Under the Radar?

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #222, November 28, 2003)

It was in 1973 that Minnesota’s then-Governor Wendell Anderson smiled out from the cover of Time Magazine, holding a just-caught fish. The cover story of that issue was “The Good Life in Minnesota.” Now, thirty years later, a very different aspect of the Good Life in Minnesota almost made it to the pages of Time—almost, but not quite.

For the last few years radical right-wing elements have stepped up their harassment of leather/BDSM events across the nation and have said some very nasty things to the media about leather/BDSM and its aficionados. Would a sympathetic article in Time Magazine about a midwestern BDSM weekend help to counter that bad press, or would it simply act as bait for more harassment?

That was the question faced by the organizers, as well as the attendees and potential attendees, of a recent nationally-promoted fetish weekend event held in our area. Less than three weeks before the event, the organizers received a letter from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF). A reporter from Time had contacted NCSF wanting to write a 3- to 4-page article on “mind/body/health” issues related to BDSM. NCSF had given him a list of doctors, psychologists and sociologists to interview, but the reporter also wanted to attend a pansexual SM event, preferably in the south or midwest, in order to talk directly to people involved in the scene.

The reporter was described as “an out gay man who has written positive articles about alternative sexuality and sexual orientation.” He wanted to be able to identify the name of the event and the city and hotel where the event was being held. He would be identified at the event as a reporter and would not quote individuals who did not want to be quoted. An escort from NCSF would accompany him to the event.

Presented with this offer of media coverage for their event, the event’s organizers (wisely, in my opinion) asked attendees, prospective attendees and members of the local leather/BDSM community how they felt about it. Based on community feedback the organizers decided not to allow the reporter to attend, although the feedback was far from a unanimous rejection of appearing in Time.

Some responses were unequivocal: “If a reporter from Time Magazine or any other publication is there, I won’t be.” Some people felt personally threatened by the possibility of losing job, spouse or children if they were outed as a result of the article. Others noted that publicity in Time might bring the same sort of harassment recently suffered by events in the New Orleans and Washington, D.C. areas. This viewpoint could be summed up as “The less the general public knows about us, the better.”

Many respondents expressed distrust of the media. Could a reporter from a national magazine like Time be trusted to write a fair article? Obviously, NCSF trusts this reporter or the organization wouldn’t be helping him with his research. But in spite of that, one commonly-expressed viewpoint was that the only reason Time or any other major media organization would even consider writing a story like this is because they know that sex and sensationalism and titillation sell magazines. According to this viewpoint, anyone expecting a, you should pardon the expression, “fair and balanced” representation in the pages of Time would be disappointed.

Another reason cited for not having a reporter at the event was timing—tickets had already been sold on the basis of the event being closed and private. Even those who thought media coverage could be beneficial questioned the wisdom of changing the nature of the event on such short notice.

But why was this such a big deal, anyway? Look at all the reporters year after year at the International Mr. Leather contest in Chicago, and look at the huge crowds that event attracts. Ah, but International Mr. Leather is an event predominantly for gay leathermen, who started coming out of the closet in the late 1960s. By contrast, this event was primarily pansexual, and many members of the pansexual community are still very much in the closet about their sexual preferences.

This comparison between the gay and pansexual leather/BDSM communities was not lost on Dan Brady, manager of local BDSM group TIES. Along with several others, Brady expressed the opinion that media coverage, and the resulting increased visibility of the leather/BDSM community, could be beneficial:

“If we can get a fair hearing in public, we have less to fear from the people who fear us because we’re unknown, or misunderstood. If we have widespread press, the people who would love to join us and learn from us have a better chance of finding us.

“Yeah, we could stay in the closet as a community—and some have some very good reasons to stay in that closet individually—but that would easily give the impression that we were hiding because we were doing something wrong, something to be ashamed of.

“Are we doing something wrong here? Do we need to be ashamed of being kinky?”

Brady continues: “Staying in the closet will not be effective in preventing us from being a persecuted minority. Coming out of the closet has done wonders for the GLBT community—it hasn’t made things perfect yet, but social acceptance has gone a long way in that direction in the past 20 years.

“We’re already getting press—most of it from the people who would prefer that we not exist at all. I, personally, mourn [the loss of] an opportunity to tell our side of the issue in a very public venue.”

Brady summed up his feelings about the rejection of the Time reporter by saying, “I fear we’ve missed an opportunity, not sidestepped a bullet.”

Here’s the irony I find in this situation: In many circles the acronym “GLBT” (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender) has been amended to “GLBTA” (the “A” stands for allies, or allied persons). When I first encountered this acronym I assumed that the “allies” were heterosexuals who were nonetheless sympathetic to our GLBT cause: PFLAG members, metrosexuals, and other honorary gay people. They are members of the heterosexual majority, and therefore have credibility with that majority. But they are willing to use that credibility to vouch for us GLBT types, to say that we too deserve the respect of the heterosexual majority.

But now I’m beginning to think it may be a two-way street. Maybe those allied persons—in this case closeted kinky heterosexuals—also need help from us, the gay leather community as well as the general GLBT community. And it’s our duty as GLBT people, who have already blazed these trails for ourselves, to help and support our allies in their quest for an exit from their own particular closet.

Upcoming events

Atons Holiday Fundraiser benefiting Aliveness Project

Sunday, Dec. 7, 5-10 pm, The Saloon

Silent Auction, door prizes, haircuts, bootblacking. Drink specials, free food. $10 donation (or $5 with 5 lbs. of food or nonperishable items). FFI or to donate an item for the auction: www.atons.net.

MSDB Bizarre Bazaar

Saturday, December 13, 11am-5pm, Da Moose (356 Monroe Street NE, Minneapolis)

Don’t miss this year’s Bizarre Bazaar and get ready to stock up on those unique stocking stuffers for that special kinked one in your life. This is a great opportunity to support your local artists/artisans/retailers. $5 at the door; $3 advance tickets available at Dreamhaven Books (Lake St. & Colfax, Mpls.), Smitten Kitten (35th St. & 23rd Ave. S., Mpls.) and at area munches or by contacting MSDB (www.msdb-mn.org).

Leather Life interviews Mark Cady, The First Mr. Minnesota Leather

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #221, November 14, 2003)

PHOTO: Mark Cady

In October 1989, the first Minnesota Leather Encounter (MLE) weekend was held and Mark Cady (pronounced KAY-dee) became the first man to win the Mr. Minnesota Leather title. Now, fourteen years later, he reminisced as we sat in the living room of the Minneapolis apartment he shares with his husband, Hubert Trimble.

Leather Life: For people who were not around at the time, like me, explain what Minnesota Leather Encounter was.

Mark Cady: It was a collection of the leather groups—the Atons, Black Guard, Knights of Leather (they did a lot of work)—and they decided it was time to have something to recognize the leather community, get a little publicity, and have a contest—pick someone, and then forward them off to Chicago for the international contest.

I’d been into leather ever since I came out in about 1982. I was fascinated by leather, and started buying pieces and wearing them, and having fun and getting a lot of attention and hanging out with the Atons.

Why did you enter the Mr. Minnesota Leather contest? When they announced it did you think, “Aha! I’m going to enter that!” or did people have to persuade you to enter?

It was something that I wanted to do, and that I was excited and scared about.

How many other people competed?

I think there was about a half a dozen guys. You had to go out and show your wares, and look good in your leather, and then you had to do a skit, kind of a leather fantasy thing. I actually have it on tape.

You had prepared for this beforehand? This was not an impromptu thing?

No, no. We definitely prepared and rehearsed. And I remember Red [Helbig, now Russ] and PJ [Knight] helping me out a lot—they were helping everybody, because they were excited about it too.

When you won, what did you think?

I was thrilled. I was shocked and I was thrilled, and it felt real cool to be up in front of that crowd, and get the crowd riled up and excited.

Does this all seem long ago and far away, or does it seem like only yesterday, as you think back to it?

It seems like long ago and far away.

What was your IML experience like?

It was a thrill. You’re very nervous, and there’s a lot of people there, and people are looking at you all the time because you’re wearing a thing that says you’re a contestant. And there are a lot of people talking to you. They had this question-and-answer scene where you go into a room with the judges and they ask you a half-dozen questions, and they say it’s a big part of your score. And you have no idea if you’re answering what they want to hear or not. I just said what I felt. And then they prep you for the contest and there’s a lot of rehearsal, and you get to go out onstage and do your thing a couple of times. It was very exciting. I remember sweating a lot just from being nervous all the time.

Had you done a lot of preparation before going to IML in Chicago?

No, not really. There was no guidance whatsoever. Remember, the groups were new to this, too—this was the first time they had put on a contest. I was hoping that I’d win the Minnesota title and then I’d be able to travel around the state, and speak on behalf of leather and go to the bars and be part of events. But it didn’t work out that way. There was no PR person, and I didn’t know how to set things up. The only place I ended up going was Duluth, because Bob [Jansen] called from Duluth and said, “Listen, you’re the winner, come on up, we’ll give you a hotel room, and we’ll throw a party for you.” And that was a cool event, but that was about the only event I had that whole year. And a year after IML and the contest and everything, Hubert moved in with me, and I became a private guy out in the suburbs, and did not go out much. Hibernated.

And now you’re becoming more visible in the leather community again.

Yes. I’m coming back out of the closet. I want to get a feel for the community again. I kinda miss it, and now that we have a place like the Eagle, it’s nice to go there and see other leather people—although I don’t see enough people wearing leather, which kinda bothers me. Because I go there on a Friday night and I get decked out, because I want to look good. I love wearing my leather, I know I look good in it, I wanna look good in it, and it’s tough being one of three guys in the bar that have bothered to look very good in their leathers that night and everybody else is wearing t-shirts and jeans. So I wish the community would get together and put their leather on more often. Or rubber, or whatever.

How have your views on leather changed over the years? Or haven’t they?

Well, they have changed. In the beginning when I got into leather I thought leather was hard-ass guys, S&M, pain, kinky sex, and all that other stuff that people associate with leather people—they think we’re all a bunch of hard-ass mean guys. Now I think a leatherman—and some people are going to be upset by me saying this—is someone who wears leather. Period. And has any kind of relationship or sex that they want. It’s the leather that’s the attraction, and what you do in the bedroom is whatever you feel like doing. It does not have to be S&M, it doesn’t have to be kinky, it can be whatever you want it to be.

Vanilla Halloween, Leather Halloween

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #220, October 31, 2003)

It’s Halloween. October 31 falls on a Friday this year, and that means the parties will last all weekend. This year more than most years, it’s not just for kids.

I think of Halloween as Amateur Night—the one night of year when anyone can wear anything and no one will ask questions. For some people the “anything” they wear will be a leather or other fetishwear won’t-everyone-be-scandalized “costume”—which they’ve gone to great lengths to put together. Other people will be wearing basically the same thing, but they will have just reached into their closet and pulled it out, like they always do.

If Halloween is about scary and spooky things, be assured that for some people leather and/or BDSM fetishwear is spooky and scary. Or at least they think it is to other people, and that means that at some level it’s spooky and scary to them, too. But just as we whistle when we walk past graveyards, or attend slasher movies as a way of dealing with our fears by making them seem outlandish and therefore less scary, some people do the same thing with leather. (It is only fair to note here that a drag queen could write pretty much the same thing about straight men dressing up in women’s clothing on Halloween.)

So for amateurs, it’s a costume. For those into the scene it isn’t, of course. Or is it? You will find people in a dungeon for whom the exotic and erotic qualities of their fetishwear are turn-ons, and they only wear it in sexual situations. It seems to me that this is how the heterosexual/pansexual BDSM community has traditionally worked: A person adopts a “scene” name and has a wardrobe of fetishwear that’s never worn anywhere other than the dungeon or the bedroom—except maybe on Halloween.

Gay leather, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to be so segmented. We tend to use real names rather than scene names, or else we use the same nickname everywhere. Likewise our apparel: we wear our leather anywhere it’s practical, whether for protection when riding a motorcycle or just because it’s cool outside. (If a jacket is called for, we might as well wear a leather one that looks good on us and makes us feel good when we wear it.) If we wear our leathers to a Halloween party, other people may look at us and think it’s our costume. But we know that it’s not really a costume—it’s an expression of who we are.

Now, despite the differences in our approach to the whole “costume” aspect of Halloween, I would like to point out that there are many similarities between the vanilla world and the leather world. We each have many of the same impulses; it’s simply that the impulses are expressed differently.

Vanilla Halloween: A chance to dress, for a change, as what one is not, whether that be a dominatrix, female drag on a man, or even in a Donald Duck costume. Leather Halloween: Reach into the closet, grab the leather or fetishwear, and dress to express, not hide, who we are. It’s not a costume, and it’s not just for Halloween.

Vanilla: Masks. Leather: No mask (unless it’s part of a scene in a dungeon). No hiding. We’ve done enough of that. We’ll let the vanilla folk experience for one night what it was like for us all those years when we had to hide.

Vanilla: Halloween handouts are candy for the kids (and, for fundamentalist Christians, tracts with the candy). After trick-or-treating, kids compare the loot they collected: “I got a Snickers bar!” “I got a Kit Kat!” Leather: Halloween handouts for everyone are flavored condoms and lube: “I got the Piña Colada lube—my favorite!” “I got one of those mint-flavored condoms, and I’m so bored with them! Maybe I can exchange it for one that’s cola-flavored.”

Vanilla: Scary candle-lit haunted houses. Leather: Scary candle-lit dungeons.

Vanilla: Party decorations predominantly in black and orange. Leather: Party decorations predominantly in black and orange—which coincidentally, conveniently, are Harley-Davidson’s colors.

Vanilla: Jack-o-lanterns with candles inside. Leather: Remove the candle from the jack-o-lantern and use it for wax play.

Vanilla: Party games include bobbing for apples. Leather: We have our party games, too. But if our heads are bobbing up and down it probably has nothing to do with apples.

Vanilla: Mind game: In a totally dark room, make someone stick their hands in a “bowl of eyeballs” (when it’s really a bowl of grapes). Leather: Mind game: Tie someone up, then tell them you’re running a knife blade across their back (when it’s really the edge of a credit card).

Vanilla: Home videos of the kids in their costumes. The kids will enjoy seeing what they look like, and it will make for great memories when they get older. Leather: “The Making of Making Porn,” a locally-produced, professional-quality video of Twin Cities leathermen in (and out of) their leathers. Great documentary footage, but you probably wouldn’t want to show it to children.

Vanilla: Halloween greeting: “Trick or treat!” Leather: Let me close with an ancient Celtic leather Halloween blessing: “May all your tricks be treats!”

Local Author Writes A Training Manual for Submissives

(Leather Life column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #219, October 17, 2003)

The Twin Cities leather/BDSM community is full of creative, inventive, talented and resourceful people. If they decide they need something and they can’t find it anywhere else, they’re likely to just create it themselves. Having created it, they are then likely to share it with the rest of the community.

When Rich Hunt, also known as “Sergeant Major,” was asked by a woman to train her to be a submissive, he consented to act as her teacher. Then he realized that in order to teach her, he would need a curriculum. So he sat down and wrote a Manual for the Formal Training of a Submissive©. Now that he’s written it he is sharing it with the rest of the community by self-publishing.

On the cover page Hunt states that the manual was “written as a distillation of my thoughts and experiences.” He also says that the manual “is not intended to be all-encompassing or comprehensive, rather it is intended to provide the initial training for a newcomer to the lifestyle.” While it was written based on his experience as a heterosexual dominant and is oriented toward the female submissive, it can be adapted to other orientations and situations.

What exactly is a submissive, and why is training necessary? The manual defines a submissive as “a person who surrenders physical and mental control to another within an intimate lifestyle relationship but generally is in control of their life otherwise.” (This is different than a bottom, defined as “a person who is submissive during a scene, but not within other aspects of a relationship.”) Training is necessary because there’s a lot a submissive needs to know in order to be a good one.

The manual opens with a discussion of Dominant/submissive, or D/s, relationships. It should be noted that in a “Dominant/submissive” relationship both Dominant and submissive take pride in their own freely-chosen roles while respecting and taking pride in their partner. This is quite different from a relationship where one party is “domineering” (exercising arbitrary or overbearing control; tyrannizing) and the other is “subservient” (either cringing at their subordinate position or fawning and being obsequious).

Addressed to the Dominant acting as trainer, the manual includes a section discussing “Needs of a submissive” and also both a “submissive’s creed” and a “Dominant’s Pledge.”

A comprehensive glossary discusses the differences between D/s, B&D (bondage and domination) and SM (formerly sadomasochism, now increasingly referred to as “sexual majick”). It also describes the differences between the sometimes-confused terms “Dominant” (also known as “Dom” or “Domme”), “Top, “Master” or “Mistress” and “Sadist” on the one hand, and “submissive,” “bottom,” “slave” and “masochist” on the other.

Hunt wrote the section entitled “Formal Training?” to discuss the purpose and benefits of training and to address a common fear: that formal training will result in “negating spirit, subordinating individuality, creating some form of automaton who becomes less a person than an object.” Hunt counters that proper training accomplishes the exact opposite, “adding another dimension to [the submissive’s] complexity as an individual” and allowing them to “[set] themselves apart from the run-of-the-mill and those who have neither the personal inner strength nor commitment to take on the full meaning of who and what they can be.”

The “Training Syllabus” as presented in the manual includes learning about “the philosophy, psychology and emotional dimensions of Domination and submission” through reading, discussions and observation (a list of suggested readings is included at the end of the manual). Also taught are the execution and appropriate use of certain physical positions such as greeting and departure, honoring, offering, attending, attention/listing, and others. The submissive learns proper conduct in formal and informal situations, with special emphasis on demeanor, responsibilities and mechanics of domestic service. Other topics covered are negotiations and contracts, the use and care of dungeon/scene accessories, observation and analysis of scenes, and leather care and bootblacking.

If this all sounds like a kinky version of a finishing school—well, that’s exactly what it is. Apart from imparting theoretical and practical knowledge, training aims to increase the poise, bearing, self-confidence and pride of the submissive.

How long does this kind of training take? That depends on the student—Hunt’s preferred style of training is performance-based rather than time-based. Instead of setting a certain length of time for each phase of training, Hunt covers multiple training areas concurrently. The manual lists measures of performance for each area of instruction; when the submissive completes these performance measures to the satisfaction of the trainer, the training is considered complete and the submissive is released from the training contract. (Wouldn’t it be a benefit to society if our public schools could adopt the same type of approach? Wouldn’t it be nice if all the students were as motivated and dedicated as a submissive choosing to go through this type of training?)

The manual, priced at $12, is available directly from the author by contacting <SgtMaj37@hotmail.com>. At that price, and given the admittedly limited audience for the manual, Hunt probably won’t make major financial gains from this project. But that’s not why he wrote it—“I wrote it to pay forward, because I can’t pay back,” he says. “I feel obligated to pay forward and thereby honor all those who took the time to train me.”

Charles Lamar Jr., 1944-2003

(Article column published in Lavender Magazine, Issue #218, October 3, 2003)

PHOTO: Charles Lamar, Jr.

Charles Morgan Lamar, Jr., of Minneapolis, passed away Aug. 29, 2003 at the age of 58 years. A memorial gathering was held on Sept. 9.

Lamar was born in Minneapolis in 1944 and was a long-time member of the Twin Cities gay and leather communities. In 1972 he was one of the founding members of the Atons of Minneapolis, one of the nation’s oldest active gay men’s leather/levi social clubs. At the time of his death he was a member emeritus. Over the years he has served as a leather mentor to many, including this writer.

For thirty years Lamar was a dedicated employee of North Central/Republic/Northwest Airlines.

Lamar was preceded in death by his father, Charles Morgan Lamar, Sr. and his mother, Alice Lamar. He is survived by cousins, his club brothers and many loving and caring friends.

A memorial gathering was held on September 9.